|Reviews for Fire|
| Katescats chapter 5 . 11/26/2008
Hi that was a very good story.
| anamcharalove chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
I loved the concept of Miss Parker saving not only Thomas but herself from the Centre by staging the fire and their deaths.
However, I felt it just sounded too easy. I wish you would have explained more, described the scenes more in depth and expand the story line. How did Angelo give Jarod the files to destroy the Centre? Did Miss Parker and Thomas ever have any obstacles to overcome after they staged their deaths? How did Sydney and Broots greive? Did they accept Miss Parker's death at face value or did they investigate? How do you connect with the characters and make them real?
I think you wrote the story a little too fast and could have added more detail. I admire you for your strength in posting your stories and the concepts you use.
I'd like to read more and see you grow as a writer.:)
I'm not trying to bring you down, just wanted to give you some constructive criticism.
| cranky chapter 2 . 11/15/2008
Very interesting start indeed ... what do you have in store for us :) ?
Looking very much forward to your next pages !
| Katescats chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
Just read chapter 1 of your story Oh no you kill off Miss Parker! OR did you anyway so far so good. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
| anamchara chapter 1 . 11/8/2008
Great beginning. One error. When he said, " She said that she needed to go home for a bit and would be home in half an hour." When she said she would be back 'home' in half an hour, don't you mean back to work? Other than that, the story was perfectly flawless. I can't wait to see the next chapter. Although, I have my suspicions that the fire was a front so Miss P and Thomas could flee the confines of the Centre forever, we'll just have to wait and see.