|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Lord's Lament|
| Anne399 chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Very interesting, very aristrocratic and political. Can't wait to see what is revealed on Harry's birthday as well as how many family's Dumbledore has taken advantage of.
| iceland chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
it is a good story to read and wonder what happens next to harry with the headmaster, now that people know that he is voting seats that don't belong to his family.
| rellenh chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Great story! Update soon!
| Holen-Snape chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Love the update. Can not wait to see what Harry finds in his Mothers vault. How much trouble will Dumbles be in? Can not wait for more. thank you
| 337106LOL chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Pretty cool chapter :) I always like stories where Harry just rips himself from Dumbledore... And gets involved in politics
By The Way; it's Tracy Davis.
| mumimeanjudy chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Does this mean that the voice in Harry's head is a Potter? And Dumbledore appears to be in a LOT of trouble if he has cheated others as well as Harry and this is about to be revealed.
Just a point, but the Harry Potter Lexicon is a great reference for the spelling of character names (ParkinGson?) It is at hplex dot org.
| Drkjester chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
You may want to look at the spelling of names. Otherwise your story was very good.
| Irishfighter chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
| David305 chapter 2 . 12/27/2008
Your story is nice, but the myriad oopses are distracting. It is apparent that you do not reread your chapters before posting. Remember that spell-check is your friend.
"Dobby set a stray of croissants" a tray
"poured him self a new glass" himself
"coming too on the dirty floor" coming to
"we thought that the Death Eaters had already moved Harry and were just lying wait" moved on Harry; lying in wait
"Its like he had put up" It's
“Its like he has been hiding this" It's
"you really didn’t by that crap" buy
"If he is emmulating Moody" emulating
"Prehaps the Longbottom Family" Perhaps
"landed on the back on Harry's chair" on the back of
"proove that the Dursley's are your family" prove; Dursleys
"should need a place to sleep" should you need
"There arenatural barriers" are natural
"Harry stood and streatched" stretched
"from other's reading it than I cannot trust" others; then
"next to tonks" Tonks
"marble of the mantle piece" mantelpiece
"that my mid is my own" mind
"mahogany pannelled halls, enjoyng" mahogany-paneled; enjoying
"Houseelf heads" House-elf
"Each plaqes" plaque
"that wouldbe able" would be
"faithful houseleves" house elves
"houseelf memorials" house-elf
"this was not going end well" going to end
"That is rediculous." ridiculous
"reentering the conversation" re-entering
"its their job" it's
"wasa mess" was a
"wrought iron chandalier" wrought-iron chandelier
"atop each pedastal" pedestal
"studied the rooms new decor" room's
"betrothel contracts" betrothal
“Thats barbaric.” That's
"its Tradition" it's
"to proove her point" prove
"It's almost completly" completely
"it isn't reccomended" recommended
"anddisdain" and disdain
"Mrs. Weasley was no where in sight but Ginny was standing infront" nowhere; in front
"She wipped her hands" wiped
"Ron dropped stack of dishes" a stack
"out of the room sceraming" screaming
"Please pass onto Dobby" on to
"to reccommend a few" recommend
"ladies maids elves" lady's maid elves
"with bautiful glass" beautiful
"showed the families dedication" family's
"These are Prisim Roses." Prism
"the intenisty of light" intensity
"Harry stealed his nerves" steeled
"ripping a leaf apart in dispair" despair
"have embraced the traidion" tradition
"or sythesize them" synthesize
"I gues the rest" guess
"It suprises me" surprises
"givethis letter" give this
"in our Libary" library
"sipping on thier tea" their
"finished the a section of the essay" the section
"Mostly to the fact" due to the fact
"her took his robe back off" he took
"Then how did get aren't a Black." "Then how did you get in? You aren't a Black."
"It's alright Harry" It's all right, Harry
"some of them think that I am going crazy" will think
"if they do expell you" expel
"roasted potatos" potatoes
"While this is delicious, Mrs. Weaseley do you have" Mrs. Weasley,
"went on a insulting mirrors spree" an
"Mr. Weaseley walked doen the stairs." Weasley; down
"In Amelia Bone's office." Bones'
"Head of hte Department" the
"receiveing a letter" receiving
"in order to more forward in their training" move forward
"walked up the stairs to retrieve their coats" Harry is on summer vacation; this occurred in July. They would not need coats.
"He oggled at the buisness men" ogled; businessmen
"cup of coffe" coffee
"Only the ones in the corporate worlds." world
"not a uniform per sey" per se
"name and buisness" business
"people left the buliding." building
"Harry glared breifly" briefly
"The plauqe beneath it" plaque
"after afew seconds" a few
"I am also looking for a secondary Beta"
If you actually already have a primary beta, it looks like they are missing nearly everything. This doesn't serve you or your story at all. You might do better just to replace them.
For brief essays on how, why (and why not) to get a beta, click my username and see the essays on my bio page.
| Skadya chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Have just stumbeld to your story and really like it.
I am hoping to see you updating soon.
| Flyguy25 chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
outstanding chapter! I look forward to more. Harry/Daphne is one of my favorite pairings and powerful but not super hero Harry are the fic's I read. Keep up the good work.
| David305 chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
Seems like a promising story. Some oopses:
"It was almost as if his conscious knew that the Dementors were going to attack." his subconscious
"hung around the Dursely’s house" Dursleys'
"derogatory word and racial epitaph" epithet
"someone non-Dursely" non-Dursley
"trying to hid a flush of embarrassment" to hide
"I cannot apperate yet." apparate
"Harry wondered out of his room" wandered
"trying to peal the smaller elf" peel
"repelling her from the area of the house" from that area
Getting a beta reader would not be a mistake.
Keep it up! Cheers,
| Smargden chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
And here come one story more to put on alert.
Thank you for the story I do like to read it
Happy New Year
| the13thdragon chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
Excelent chapter, I look forward to reading more, prefrably soon. If a pairing is going to appeare in the story ether Daphne or Tracey would be good.
| Memory King chapter 3 . 12/27/2008
This chapter was quite interesting, will be fun to see how this new system will react to the situation, and if Fudge decides not to send Umbridge to Hogwarts.
Looking forward to more!