|Reviews for Miserable|
| keiXchan chapter 6 . 8/19/2009
Hello, it's KaylinKaotic from DeviantArt!
It's been... like... 20 million years since you've updated. T.T
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS.
CONTINUE IT, OR START A NEW STORY, OR SOMETHING!
| ArcadiasDreams chapter 6 . 1/17/2009
*huhuh* I realy have to say, from all MxN that I read this has something competitive and shows their sort of rivalry and addiction pretty well. Por Near *ironic* *heheheh*
You really think before you write. And their conversation and the looks in Mellos eyes! Very well written! Write more.
| Validate0 chapter 6 . 1/14/2009
Wow... lol great job. Update son, ok? v
| Forbiddensoul562 chapter 6 . 1/1/2009
Thanks for all the talk and stuff up at the top :D You keep saying you don't want me to beta it for whatever reason but i always want to XD And what the hell are 'UPs'? Anyway, this was an interesting chapter! A lot was revealed and it was written magnificently. I can hardly believe you almost decided not to continue this! Ugh, you're weird sometimes.. Anyway, i liked this chapter despite how you refuse to break up the long paragraphs and what not XD . I'm sorry that this review can't be longer, i'll try and make the next one longer for ya!
Please update soon!
| Severe Cabbage chapter 6 . 12/31/2008
Oho! Another chapter!
I really do like this chapter quite a bit. Thank you for keeping the actual plot of this fic, instead of just having three chapters of Near-rape and then everyone sailing away on rainbow clouds and such. (because a lot of Mello-avenges-himself-with-sexy-times fics are simply horrendous in this respect)
I'm actually feeling sorry for Near, and I'm generally the sort who giggles whenever he gets utterly destroyed in fanfics. (Oh, how we abuse our favorite characters...) However, your battle of wits in here really does make me have sympathy for him, as he realizes exactly what sort of a crap situation he's in.
Oh, and I thought MY first kiss was bad. You beat me with this.
Write more, as always, and glad that you found another Near to rp with!
| Joygasmss chapter 5 . 11/16/2008
Bahh, write moree.
I love this.
| Aiyana chapter 4 . 11/14/2008
Interesting fanfic... roleplay... rolefanficplay? XD -shot'd- Anyway... this reminds me of a friend of mine I used to have. When we ended our friendship, she told me that the only reason she talked with me for as long as she did was because of our Death Note roleplays (which we had been carrying on for a little over a year). o_o; Well, back to your story... good job, you make an excellent Mello, and it sounds like you had some fun roleplays together. Hope you keep writing this!
| Forbiddensoul562 chapter 5 . 11/13/2008
Gawd i swear this still reminds me of Obey Me! Especially the part about Mello referring to Near as his toy! But, i love all the detail in it and such. I keep trying to think of what could possibly happen to Near after Mello's done with his sick pleasures (Gods... where the hell have i heard THAT kind of thing before...) What i think would be potentially breaking would be if Near clung onto Mello, to make him stay as he begins to realize that he really DID like that, and Mello just tears himself away and leaves him broken like that. But... then something's got to bring him back to Near... hm... i wonder...
As for spelling errors this is what i found: "inexistent" instead of unexistant.
"thy" instead of "theigh" and
...What the... Dammit! I know there was another one but i cant seem to find it at the moment...
Anyway, i really liked this! I can't wait to see what you do next. Unfortunately i won't be here all weekend so if u update during that dime i'll have to read it when i get back from my expeditions.
| Severe Cabbage chapter 5 . 11/13/2008
And Near finally loses his composure. Yay!
I like how you describe Near's pitiful attempts at fighting off Mello...rather sad, isn't it?
Sadist!Mello is growing more entertaining by the minute. :D
You have some spelling errors in here, but not of the sort that cause the hair of your readers to be torn out in rage, so don't concern yourself too much.
EANC (eagerly anticipating the next chapter)
| DreamMachine chapter 4 . 11/12/2008
This is cute and sadistic at the same time, looking forward to another chapter.
| caught-myself012 chapter 4 . 11/11/2008
NO near stay put! let mello continue xD
yu'll like it *wink wink* haha
great story, a little outta character but then its too funny and entertaining for me to care so GREAT JOB!
| Forbiddensoul562 chapter 4 . 11/11/2008
It's interesting that this has taken 4 chapters and STILL the lemon hasn't even happened. And you know what the ending reminded me of? It reminded me of when Light was in confinement and all of a sudden he was like, *ding* "HEY WAIT! L, i can't be Kira! This is stupid, let's stop it now!" That kind of thing. You know what i mean? Also, your story reminds me of someone else's story called "Obey Me" Idk if you've read it, but perhaps you should and then it could help you get some ideas. It's a really good story and really well done. The sadistic stuff is what reminded me of it. Now, onto the comments on your story. This was a good chapter and easier to follow. Still have a couple of spelling errors, but we all do it so... no problem. I can't wait to see what you do next. I'll wait to give you any ideas until after you read that story and see if it helps at al.
Please update this soon!
| Severe Cabbage chapter 3 . 11/11/2008
Oh, I very much like the sound of psychological battling, as that's pretty much what the Mello/Near relationship IS, isn't it? So nice to know that this won't turn into one of those fics where the dialogue sounds like a fifth-grade argument...after all, Mello and Near are supposed to be brilliant!
But tch, tch. I shan't tell you what to do with this story...that's up to you to decide! This ain't American Idol, and I prefer to watch.
You don't really have any spelling mistakes in this chapter, oh wonderful one, but watch how you punctuate "its." Not truly important, just a typo that makes my eye twitch. :)
| Forbiddensoul562 chapter 3 . 11/10/2008
Hey look i found the review button without faving instead! hahaha! WOO GO ME! XD Anyway, this was interesting. I'm not sure why this is so difficult for me to really see into. I mean, dont get me wrong, i understood what you were saying but there were some times when i was like, "wow... that probably could have been expressed better." Like... the whole 'losing to Mello' thing... that took me a minute. Also, there were quite a bit of spelling errors in this chapter. I've been trying to ignore those small mistakes in the stories i've been reading recently but... i don't know i just thought i'd alert you.
Okay... hm... you said you wanted ideas for this... Look, i can be an amazing muse, and if i could, i'd shoot out 10 ideas for you to use. But because i have no idea where exactly you're going with this story i REALLY don't know what to give you. If i even attempted to it would all be a huge array of things and i dislike doing that when i don't have to. So, if you want some assistance and are willing to spoil some of it for me, then i'd be more than willing to PM you some ideas. (I'd rather PM them to you rather than send them via a review because then people can't read it and spoil the ideas. If that made any sense.)
Please update/contact me soon!
P.S: Yeah, they really shoul just leave it how it used to be i was totally one of those people who was REALL commfy with the way things had been before. But now, it's like, "What's going to be differant today? Hm..."
| Forbiddensoul562 chapter 2 . 11/10/2008
You know... they moved the 'review story' button to the middle of the screen so people wouldn't miss it and you know what... i STILL missed it! I totally clicked the 'add to fav' button while expecting it to be the 'review' button. It came up and i was like: O.O Wha..?
Haha, what does that say about me?
Anyway, this is an interesting fic. Sometimes the dialog in this chapter was kind of hard to follow, but overall it think this will be very nice. Now i'm waiting for the next 99.92 percent of the story. Especially the 'cute christmas' chapter. Heh... i'm a sucker for a couple of things when it comes to NxM stories: 1. Fluff. 2. Fluff mixed with amazing (not hate-driven) lemons (which i doubt we'll get with this.) 3. Cute christmas/valentines/birthday stories. So, needless to say i'm highly excited for the Christmas chapter!
Anyway, good story thus far! I can't wait for the update, so please update soon!