|Reviews for Pokemon: The Chapmionship|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
fucking horrible grammar dear god do you even proofread I mean dear god I just barley understood that I not trying to be mean but just proofread and if you really are like a 7 year old get off this site and come back when you are older
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/24/2013
Even though this story is a couple of years old, I might as well review. Who knows maybe it will help you when writing a story in the future :D
There were many spelling mistakes such as walked (walekd),Ash Ketchum (Ahs Ketchom),baseball (basbeall), like(leik) and powerful (powarful), there were others but I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at. There were many grammar mistakes which you have been told by many other reviewers.
There were also mistakes about Ash and Pikachu such as Pikachu will never go in it's Pokéball and tends to stay by Ash's side or on his shoulder.
Also if Ash had gotten a Pokéball in the mail he would have most definitely rushed to see what was inside it and then taken it to Professor Oak for it to be examined and found out why it was given to him in the mail.
Ash was very OOC and that needs to be worked on though I understand just how hard it is to prevent Canon Characters from being OOC.
I think if you had gone into a lot more detailed when the Pokémon battled then it would have been an alright story and it would have been even better if you had explained why Ash's family was killed by Theximal and also why Thexiaml wasn't arrested and how he got away with it. Flash backs would be a good way to explain what had happened while they were battling. I don't think Ash would have forgiven him just like that and would most likely help the police catch him.
I hope you rewrite this story except with more of a plot, more drama and action and most importantly detail. I hope this review doesn't come off as a rant or hateful (really sorry if it does :) ) because it's really just meant as a way to help improve your writing. Since this was written a few years back then it means you must have improved a lot so maybe this review is useless. So yeah... I look forward to reading your work :D
| Porydactyl chapter 1 . 8/18/2013
This story in one word. Horrible.
| TarShigori chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
You sir are TWO! D
| TheLegendNeverDies chapter 1 . 6/15/2013
this sh#t is fu#4ing hilarious.
| Fille0314 chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
Thumbs up on this one :D
| Pokemon fan chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
This is the most, most, most horrible story I have ever read. Grammar, Storyline, Spelling, you should just stop writing if you're not going to follow the story lines. It. Doesn't. Freaking. Make. Sense. This disobeys 's rules. Every story has to be checked for grammar errors, and definitely spelling. Did you just type randomly and slap it on? Because that is what it looks like. Just. Stop. Writing. Your writing is like a kindergartner's.
| Veratican Justice chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
I'm afraid that there were a lot of spelling mistakes. Try reediting.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
pokemon do not die they faint
| dragonwolf12 chapter 1 . 11/20/2012
What the F*** is this?
| The Logical Thinker chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
Several things need to be addressed here:
Pikachu hates to be in his Pokeball
Make the battles better and spread them out.
If you do this, I gaurentee that you will have a better story, not to offend you.
| joshua chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
| Mickylane chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
this is pretty terrrible sorry
| storymaster454 chapter 1 . 9/12/2011
Ok I read it and just to be nice because not alot of other reviewer are I'm just going to say that it has room for improvment
| blackthunder whitefire chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
no offence, but this is not a good story bad spelling, bad storyline it just sucks:(