|Reviews for When You're Gone|
| hopeisabluebird chapter 1 . 2/10/2009
I really liked this! I know I keep saying this... but your writing is beautiful and so well-developed.
| Omega Graecisso chapter 1 . 1/25/2009
why does it feel like I've read this...oh, yeah, because allison did this too! (the 'edward goes hunting and bella waits' part, it's not at this point in canon.) you need to watch out for her. the innocence is just a scheme to steal your ideas and women.
heh avril canada wo he was a boy she was a girl can i make it any more obvious
(apparently she can, because the song keeps going from there)
songfics, like drabbles, get their own category to be judged on, where the choice of the song and the way it joins and flows become very important. the song is a perfect choice for the scene (assuming i remember bella being an annoying 'i have rights and can go be friends with whoever i want even if they wanna bone me and not wait in the kitchen' scenes properly)
oh, and bella, didn't you read midnight sun? edward doesnt like you in ugly sweaters and he rants about them for six chapters
what, nessie? back to the story? oh, okay. and no, sorry, we can't loosen those.
you know what line is interesting? alice not letting bella ditch. i'm not gonna go as far as to call it wrong, but it jumps at me a little - unless she can decorate bella's classes with unicorn snow angels, it doesn't seem like she'd care about her missing a normal day. i'll defer to allison's judgment on that line.
'if only rosalie could understand my deep lasting feelings for edwar...ooh, jacob, bye, everybody!' you know, as unlikely as it seems with how much your beta resembles her in a lot of other areas, holy christ, i hate bella. as you may have assumed, the proportion of female slash:male slash stories i have read in my life is about 50:0, but i would gladly read a story where edward and jacob collectively decide that they're both too good for bella and spend the rest of their lives engaged in freaky werewolf orgies and car racing. that would be *ing glorious and i'd only need a total of six naked girls to finish the whole thing.
yes, that is relevant - the ending kinda jumps at me, too. i know you didn't have much of a choice canonically, but it really jumps away from the song when it comes to fitting - she's off smiling with the wolf now!
therefore, when it comes to a rating...it's really tough, honestly, because 95% of this was perfect but those two things really, really jump. i can stretch it to an 8, though, i think. which i can give a rating too, but you'd just have to ask me who and then i'd have to tell you which bondage shoot it came from and that's not worth getting into, so, yeah, 8.
| Judiri chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
| sex wife chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
You did Bella very well! So, expect God to smite you with a lightning bolt sometime in the near future, for now you have shown the world that you have lied! Lied to us all! Claiming a lack of talent in the character of Bella! Blatant. Lies. I liked your imagry! And also, great song to pic! It always reminds me of ExB. I'm glad my garbage inspired you. More. I demand it. Your oneshots are like the cookies of my life. delicious, and sadly rare. [though more plentiful, lately.]
| Permanent Rose chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
It's refreshing to read a Bella as a human fic. I've been seeing to many vamp Bella stories lately.
Very well done. You've really been on a writing role lately. What is it, two updates today? :)