|Reviews for Discovery|
| TechNomaNcer28 chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
WOOOOW!Gorgeous use of words and style!Loved all of it!
| N chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
I can't believe you don't have more reviews for this. Your piece was engaging and utterly believable, the chracterisation of the Marauders were perfect especially in the interaction between Remus and Sirius. A lot of authors forgot when writing about these two, that they are good friends, the understanding, chemistry and tension you conveyed between them is very much how I would have pictured them to be.
| Julia Claire chapter 1 . 4/22/2010
This was pretty good. I really like your characterizations of the Mauraders.
| AnExpressionOfWisdom chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
I love this pairing and you have created this scene artfully
| Shally-wa chapter 1 . 5/30/2009
Nice. Snarky Snape is snarky. And in character.
Both Remus and Sirius were wonderfully in character. I liked the scene when Remus was talking about how he knew... I can remember the same sort of discomfort.
Also GAY DUMBLEDORE. Yay. I can really just see him doing this, mentoring Remus.
Finally, I liked your creative use of unrequited Sirius/James. I can totally see Sirius liking James, but never the reverse. I've been considering using it as a plot device in a Remus/Sirius fic of my own.
| Dylan chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
I LOVE that line from Snape, "It was a fasinating show."
I think some part of my anatomy just burst from laughng.
| Elvish-Princess99 chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
This was wonderful.
| Wuff chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
I liked it! Especially this dialogue:
Snape laughed at the order. "Or what? You'll kill me?"
"Yes," Sirius said. He'd nearly done it once. If Snape crossed him on this, it might be worth it to try again.
"Sirius," Remus whispered. He put a hand on the other boy's arm.
You have all three of them so in character.
And let me also thank you for this: "Sirius could pick out the flecks of gray in his light blue eyes" Wonderful! I always get sick if I have to read once more about Remus's "amber pools of molten gold" or whatever.
| LoquaciousGirl chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
aww that was so cute
| werewolfsfan chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
Your overall writing and narrative skills are very good. My main critique is that I would have liked this story to have been more filled out and longer.
The beginning is perfect. It’s amusing and you show us who these characters are. As a reader, I know we are coming to the climax of the story or the action when we go to the top of the astronomy tower and meet the “missing” friend.
When Remus decides to shake things up, it’s a sexy delight! The questions about poly-juice just goes to show that a reader needs to beware as you like surprises like in your fic, Crossed Wires! Where this begins to get off track to me is the discussion after that about their “couple hood” and when they are going to share the good news with all of their friends. Up until this point, they are both masculine, something very few fanfic writers manage! A teen-aged girl might react this way to a great kiss and a little groping but it doesn’t feel like right at this point to me between teen boys in the ‘70’s, even boys who already share a close friendship. Actually, I like your characterization of Sirius and his side of the dialog. I could even see this as in keeping with Remus if this conversation occurred after several secret make out sessions. Hence why I feel the story should be longer instead of crammed on fast forward.
Now you move on to two more important topics of discussion before our heroes resume snogging! The discussions are well done but you’ve lost the feeling of sexual tension and urgency now.
I enjoyed the discovered by Snape scene but as I’ve noted before, I feel the fic would be better if it was multi chaptered with a little bit more time to digest each of these milestone discussions and a more developed romantic relationship. And selfishly, from my point of view, then we would get to have more than one hot and sexy scene!
| MinervaEvenstar chapter 1 . 11/13/2008
It was written well and I enjoyed it, but it seemed like you were working too hard to cram too many events (snogging, gay-realisation stories, Order discussions, Snape noticing) into a much too small span of time.
| Bad Mum chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
My inner Wolfstar fangirl is squeeing at this. Absolutely perfect. Remus needling Sirius into saying he was boring and then proving he wasn't was just fantastic. I love, love, love that it was Remus who took the initiative here. I love the uncertainly they both feel - escpecially the "how did things get so complicated so fast?" Just great stuff.
| respitechristopher chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
That was the most blatantly romantic thing I've ever read. Ev-er. I mean, Sirius is always good for a line, but your lines are both well-timed and very, very masculine. And the set-up was just glorious. Your Remus is so in-character that he ought to be locked up. This whole story was just such a bonbon of romantic goodness, it's going to have the Wolfstar fangirls squeeing out of their shorts. But a tasteful, excruciatingly well-executed, beautiful bonbon - not easy to do at all.
Write your NaNo. Get it published. People as talented as you should get paid to do what you do. That was just beautiful. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us.
| youkai chick supreme chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
I liked this. I liked this a whole lot. Now I have to go read the sequel! But I'm so looking forward to it. Yay!
| remuslives23 chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
Lovely story! I enjoyed it very much. Well done.