|Reviews for Tails|
| Solis Knight chapter 6 . 11/17/2008
Good story. Almost didn't decide to read it at first, but it was actually written quite well. Ten thumbs up for ya, can't wait for more!
Someone who is actually using just the characters from the series instead of using their own characters and making them the best things on the planet... I gotta admit, you don't see too much of that nowadays. Great job.
| XT-421 chapter 5 . 11/16/2008
"After his perfect timing return " Should be 'Perfectly timed', as the situatuon in is the past tense, and the word 'perfect' is describing the verb, rather than a noun, making it an adverb.
"“Why Sir Acorn didn’t trust G.U.N. in the first place?” Was " There should be a 'did' in between Why and Sir. Why? I don't know exactly... it just would make it sound a LOT nicer.
" of why the red echidna was chose as a leader: " Chose should be chosen, as it is describing why something happened, meaning it is in the past. Chose is a past tense verb, but chosen is the (if I am right in saying so,) the past particible, and chose is more the simple past. (I don't full yunderstand this rule, I've got to go back to reading my own english books, lol.)
" Stated their sever yet proud leader." Just a mispelling here, 'sever' means to rip apart, or to divide, whereas, 'severe' means harsh, mean, or very hazardous. (Which seems to be the word you were looking for, eh?)
"Unconsciously, this was becoming there favourite activity… The simple staring, enjoying the company, been together." Three things in this. One: Unconsciously would make a bit more sense if it was 'Subconsciously,' as they just mean something a bit different. 'un' is for passed out, and 'sub' is the underlying thoughts that you don't really realize.
And two: A misspelling, I think... favourite should be favorite (no 'u').
And three: 'been' should be 'being'. Why? Not s sure, I just don't think that 'been' fits into the sentence there gramatically.
"“Will you fucking relax and trying to reason for a" In this, 'trying' should just be 'try', just because he isn't asking Tails to 'trying' to do something, he is asknig him to 'try' to do someting... I don't know how to describe it... sorry...
"“I am.” Replied the walls mauler." Just a little apostrophe in between wall and the s. (Wall's) showing possesion, as the wall's mauler was Knuckles.)
others of the council about the ‘obviously menace of the plant like freak’ and they fell for it… That little " Just delete the 'ly off of 'obviously', and you're good to go. Obviously describes a verb, whereas 'obvious' describes a noun. You are describing a noun 'menace'. So yeah...
Now that that's done, (I still feel kind of bad about tearing apart your story for gramatical errors like that though... it just seems mean!) I can review this.
Ooh Shadow's here! YAY! But, NO! DON'T HURT COSMO! You're going to drive me crazy, you know that?
Update soon please!
| XT-421 chapter 4 . 11/15/2008
Ok, as for mistakes:
" an egg or burning alive trying " Should be "burn alive trying", it is worded strangely, and I'm not exactly sure which is the best way to do it, but that works pretty well.
" soldier that Espio was, he was starting to worrying, humans " Should be "stating to worry", and he isn't worrying, he is starting to worry, worry is a noun in this situation, and starting is the verb.
" “Sort of… I can use my petals to caught some wind and rise in the air.” " should be "To catch" as caught is stating that she's already done it, yet in this, she is describing how she does something.
And then the last one, " “Cool.” Was the simple replay of the kit. " This one is easy, "Replay should be reply" as they mean different things. Replay is to make something play again, and to reply is to respond to something. That may have been a simple typo though...
Ok! Now with that over, I can actually review!
It is so sweet, seeing Tails and Cosmo like this, and I absolutely loved your Pong joke in there... It gave me an idea to use in my story... (Imagine a robot playing Pong with its eyes because it is bored, I bet it's been used somewhere, but I could still use it.)
Keep writing! This is amazing!
| XT-421 chapter 3 . 11/14/2008
Hmm... Cosmo doesn't talk? I can see that...
Well, I do have to say, small errors aside, this story is becoming a fascinating tale, one that, no doubt, I shall read to the end.
You're an amazing writer, and I congratulate you for not being a native english speaker and getting THIS good at it. (I could NEVER do something like this in German.)
Please update soon!
| Androclez chapter 2 . 11/14/2008
Wow! This chapter was heavy! It started out quite hilarious and ended tragically; even poetically. I thought it was strange for Tails' parents to be alive in the previous chapter. Now I know why.
By the way, your portrayal of Amy is very good. That's much the same way I see her. Espio is very interesting in this story too. I like the way this fanfic is shaping up.
| Androclez chapter 1 . 11/14/2008
Very good first chapter. I like the way you combined some of the best elements from various Sonic storylines/continuities. The history of natural selection leading up to Tails' unique genetic mutation was a nice touch too (I'm Old Earth Creationist, incidentally). The writing was colorful and engaging all through the chapter. There were a couple of misspellings, but overall very good.
| XT-421 chapter 2 . 11/12/2008
Pun intended, lol! How sad though... that one so young must endure such pain.
You've broguht up quite an intrested story though... I mean, give the girl back, (THE girl, not jsut any girl, THE girl, VERY important,) and save the town? Or keep the girl, and watch as the the town is reduced to rubble? Terrible decision, I have a hunch this will become a soap opera to me... lol
| XT-421 chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
Amazing! Please! Write more! Other than a few spelling errors, (few for anyone, and barely noticable,) this introduction was (and still is,) remarkable!
I do not beg, but please, do write more!