Reviews for Heart of Rhûn
janelover1 chapter 28 . 1/21/2011
I found this story today and decided to read it on a whim. I am very glad I did; this is an amazing story. I read straight through all 28 chapters without a break. I love this story! And I have no 'constructive criticism' besides this: please update soon :)
Condor green chapter 22 . 2/10/2010
The chapter was short but I enjoyed it all the same.

Back to the adventure!

By the way what happened to that one mercenary?
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 21 . 2/3/2010
Once again, wonderful chapter. I'm cutting this review short because I have to go meet a friend, but needless to say...The chase is on!

Can't wait for the next chapter!
Condor green chapter 21 . 2/2/2010
With the length of your arks and the destance they still have to go, you could easily make this a 100,0 word epic if you wanted to.

I do think that this chapter was your best so far and I do hope to see more of Gutrune whether as an antagonist or a protagonist.
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 20 . 11/8/2009
Wow. Sorry it took me a couple months to get to this. I recently moved and now rely on either the library or the family farm to get to the internet.

Anyway, brilliant chapter, I knew Gutrune was untrustworthy. And poor Belhast, trying to warn Finrosc and they just ignored him.

Your writing is still wonderful and I look forward to more.
S. A. Hunter chapter 20 . 9/27/2009
It's a wonderful, very intriguing story you're crafting here! You're an excellent writer. I hope you will continue it until the end, 'cause I cannot wait to find out what happens on this quest. I wish you all the best.
Doris the Younger chapter 20 . 9/26/2009
Your story started very slow but it got quite exciting after a while. By Ch. 10 I found that I had to keep reading. Chapter by chapter Belhast and Finrosc have become more well-rounded and interesting...although not heroic. I wonder whether we'll learn that Belhast really has fortunetelling powers...

I also wonder whether their adventure as shanghaied sailors foreshadows something in the plot later on or if it is simply a sidebar that doesn't go anywhere, like Tom Bombadil.

Finrosc's song in 19 was pleasant, but I'm no expert on the music of troubadours (and frankly, I flipped past the elf songs in The Hobbit.)

I know that Gutrune is pretty but even so the two foster brothers really shouldn't have trusted her. I guess they aren't as proficient at thieving as they think they are...

A suggestion: change your summary to '...1304 (10 years pre-LOTR)'. I managed to mix up your dates for several chapters and the story is confusing if you believe it's supposed to be 'present-day.'

Some constructive (I hope) criticism: You're asking for a big leap of faith from your readers. We've never heard of your protagonists, and their quest to steal an unknown foreign artifact and give it to a creepy paymaster is not intrinsically meaningful to us. So if this were my story I think I would have brought in Mithrandir earlier to hook the reader's interest. This is fanfiction, after all. I assume that his 'favour' will actually become important later on in your story, and it would have been helpful if we'd known about him earlier. I'm often tempted to be 'subtle' and to hold back secrets in my own writing, and believe me, it seldom pays.

One way around this would be to change your summary to '...full of surprises. And one of them is Mithrandir!'

I just read your bio. So you're from Finland. I am awestruck that your English is so good. (Better than many of the American LOTR writers on , as I'm sure you well know.)

Heart of Rhûn looks like it will be quite lengthy. I hope that my review will encourage and enliven you. (Like miruvor, only typed!)

Good luck!
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 18 . 6/17/2009
Alright! I love the newest installment. So they met one of the Butterburs' eh? There's just something about that friendly ramble that has me chuckling every time. The Barrow Downs are down right creepy when you stop and really think about it. I know they didn't even mention them in the movies but the book description alone was enough to give you chills.

Anyway, fine job on a lovely chapter and I can't wait to see who they've run into now.
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 17 . 5/2/2009
After 6 interruptions I finally got to read these last 3 chapters. This story just keeps getting more interesting by the paragraph. You have unique ideas and it's fascinating to watch this story evolve. Keep up the wonderful work!
YID chapter 16 . 4/29/2009
Wow, this is a really interseting story. I hope that you continue it soon! I must complement you on how well you have made it fit into the stories of arda and the charachters are likeable and believable. Im looking forward to what happens next.
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 13 . 3/23/2009
Sorry it took me so long. Free time on the computer is becoming more rare.

Wonderful chapter, your writing has improved and it was great to begin with. The trial went as well as I had hoped. Anmir was a plain and simple jerk and I'm glad we don't have to put up with him anymore and I believe the judge made a wise decision as far as Aodnait is concerned.

The end snippet made me chuckle. Belhast reading Gaerion's book to compare adventures.

All in all, pretty smooth reading and please keep them coming.
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 12 . 2/17/2009
Wow, I finally get back to a computer and you've got a half dozen chapters up. Maybe I'll be luckier next time and you'll have half the story up. Wonderful twists this tale has taken. A little bit of piracy never hurt anyone haha! Marvelous descriptions of life at sea, very easy to read and believable. You've done research and it shows. I can't wait to read more.
Elemental-Jedi-Elf chapter 6 . 1/31/2009
Alright, the plot thickens. Your writing is definitely improving and I'm glad to see the two newest chapters. Very intriguing so far...keep them coming!
Lalaeth chapter 4 . 1/18/2009
I hope you intend to update this soon. What is that thing in the cupboard?

Just one question. If the house is in disrepair, wouldn't they wonder if their mysterious patron could pay them as much as promised?
Lalaeth chapter 2 . 1/18/2009
This is one of the more original stories I've seen for a long time. Tolkien left a lot of space within his world for more stories and this one fits. Not everyone in Middle-earth was a noble.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it.
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