Thank you for writing and finishing this story. It was well put together and very visual. Each chapter is interesting and you don’t add too much fluff or try to rush anything. You’re honestly one of the most talented writers I’ve come across in fanfic but that’s probably also why I can’t help but write my critical feedback- because you’re sooo close to being perfect it’s actually irritating to me. You can make me sad, make me angry and make me laugh, but I haven’t felt love or desire. I love SasuHina. They’re my crack pairing and rival otp. However, with the way Hinata’s timid behavior was written whenever there was interaction between her and Sasuke, it didn’t come across as passionate. In fact, even though he might just graze an arm, it almost felt rapey. I 100% know that’s not what you were going for. Even if in her mind she knew she desired him, it wasn’t enough for me to feel it because it was so contrasting with how her actions were described. And then there’s my last chapter review which I’ll try not to go into. As suspected, all’s well that ends well but knowing that it was going to end this way anyway, doesn’t make it better. It felt unnecessary. Otherwise, this really was one of the better stories I’ve read. You have the makings of a great “true” author and I can only imagine this skill will grow/has grown with time. You’re definitely a better writer than I could ever hope to be and I also hope the muse constantly finds you. Cheers.

I feel like I’m a bipolar reviewer. I know this chapter was supposed to make me happy but it didn’t. I’m still upset over Hinata’s most recent development (which I won’t explicitly write in case other people are like me and read reviews before the stories themselves). IMO it was overkill. I tend to dislike when fanfics just do too much bad stuff to Hinata. I get how this particular event forced a major step forward for them but, for me at least, it crossed an invisible line for the quantity and quality of wrongs that can/should be done to our heroine. There’s some magic formula to it and I’ve seen many a writer just go ape on horrendous acts against the poor thing. I actually would have handled it better if it had all been done at once at the beginning- like ripping a bandaid. But coming in waves, I feel like this much crap would honestly be the undoing of anyone. This isn’t what I was after when I started reading. I’m quite certain that we’ll find out that this problem isn’t a problem after all when I read the next chapter but it’s the principle of the matter. It’s the mental and emotional damage it causes that I’m upset about. Even if the physical trauma is temporary. The solution of “but hey we love each other” just feels shallow. Maybe I’m not really a romantic, but maybe that’s why I like to read romance- I’d like to be pleasantly surprised that even non-believers can change their mind.

You just did Hinata dirty! How could yooouuu! *points accusatory finger* And how dare you play my heart strings like a violinist! That’s just cruel.

Very well written chapter. The dramatic action sequences coupled with creative storytelling makes for an amazing, heart pounding, edge of your seat reading experience. Thanks for sharing with us author-san!

*cries in E7*

Oh no! *shuts eyes and panics*

Eep! Poor Hinata

I enjoyed this chapter much more than the last

Sometimes I can’t help but facepalm at Hinata’s reactions and interpretations. SMH

I am really enjoying this read. The story is well thought out, you create vivid imagery with your words and the characters are believable. My only personal qualms are A) the pacing of their relationship and B) Hinata’s character growth. A) On the one hand I guess they’ve only been together for 2 weeks, but based on the play by play and length of chapters it really feels like it has been longer. I guess I would have preferred to have small intervals of time skips to get more interesting sooner even if the timeline is longer. I completely understand why you decided on the current pacing, being more a daily diary almost because there is actually a lot going on and every chapter (barring the interlude) had something important to add plot wise. It’s just difficult to read the agonizingly slow progress Sasuke and Hinata make towards their relationship. It’s like a game of tug o’war and neither of them realize they’re even holding a rope (for 23 chapters and counting)...B) It would be nice to see more character development on Hinata’s behalf. I can see she’s developing physically and she’s not batshit like she was in the beginning but overall she isn’t any different than the overtly shy, self conscious and timid creature she started out being in Naruto. Jonin or not. Fingers crossed you have more planned for her.

So much angst. When will they stop dancing around each other?

Kabuto is such a creep

Why anyone would think messing with Hinata is a good idea is beyond me S

Can we offer Ami to Kabuto for some fun experiments please?

Yes please turn Hinata into a blind badass!