I loved this story sooooo much it was perfect. I wish you had more to read!

I cried so much

I have to say I’m pretty sure the wolves can’t tear limbs off of a vampire while in human form. That whole scene just made me cringe a bit. Otherwise fantastic! On the edge of my seat. Very good. Love the lemons. You wrote very enthralling sex scenes.

Omg! I loved this chapter! I think you nailed how all of them would have reacted when telling Charlie and the whole Jacob being the alpha and Leah and Jack! Omg sooo amazing can’t put my phone down

Soooo sexy. Got me all hot and bothered ;)

Loved loved loved!

Living for the lemons

Ah, the dance of the wolves and vampires, a tango of teeth and fur, was a real hoot, wasn't it? The way Jacob staked his claim as the Alpha, it was like watching a kid finally standing up to the schoolyard bully. Gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling right here in the old ticker.

Now, about the hanky-panky... I'm no prude, but there's a point where the bedroom door can swing too wide, don't you think? It's like we're all invited to a party we didn't necessarily want to attend. We get it, they're hot for each other. Maybe we can leave a little more to the imagination next time, huh?

Ah, the tale you're spinning has a pulse, it's alive and kicking. Leah's plight, it's like a shard of ice to the heart. Jacob, that sharp-eyed observer, he's got her feelings for Sam pinned down like a butterfly in a display case. And when she crumbles, when she lets her fists do the talking on Jacob's face, it's a moment that could shatter even the hardest of hearts.

Great job!

Ah, yes! How could I have possibly neglected to mention the following? It appears that the influence of a certain bottle of enchanting grape elixir from the previous eve has lent a touch of whimsy to your words.

I must express my intrigue at the peculiar and uncharacteristic behavior of our beloved Jacob once he had succumbed to the powerful force of imprinting upon Bella. As the esteemed SM herself has proclaimed, the allure of the imprint is an irresistible siren's call, compelling one to surrender to its magnetic pull, regardless of circumstance. It is akin to the unyielding might of nature itself. Therefore, one would naturally assume that Jacob, being so deeply connected to Bella, would have been attuned to her every beck and call, swiftly silencing any dissenting pack members who dared to criticize (particularly that mischievous rascal Paul). This also would have made it impossible to resist her initially.

Furthermore, I must acknowledge the occasional sense of stagnation that permeates the narrative. It is as if the tale is being recounted to us rather than vividly brought to life before our very eyes. Instead of merely informing us of the pack members' surprise at the emergence of the new Bella, allow their astonishment to manifest through their actions, their very countenances serving as a canvas upon which their emotions are artfully painted. Perhaps the subtle nuances of their facial expressions shall convey the depth of their reactions!

Ah, the unexpected intrusion of Seth into the realm of intimacy undeniably injects a delightful touch of levity. It is moments such as these that elicit a knowing chuckle, akin to the mischievous grin of a literary jester. They serve as a reminder that even amidst the most profound of human experiences, humor can be found, a respite from the weighty matters that often consume our narratives.

I must confess, my dear author, that the notion of relinquishing this fic has crossed my mind. However, the reviewers' whispers of improvement beckon me to persevere. May their discerning judgments ring true, and your penmanship ascend to new heights, like a soaring phoenix amidst a literary landscape.

Well, let me tell you, the last couple of chapters of this book have been quite a ride. Jacob and Bella's cross-country escapade has been a real page-turner. The simmering tension between them, the unspoken desires, it's like a pot about to boil over. But, I must say, a little more attention to the prose could make the narrative flow smoother than a river in springtime.

Chapter 12, though, was a bit like a firecracker that didn't quite pop. We've been trailing behind this sexually charged duo for over a year now, and when they finally cross that line, it felt a bit like a balloon deflating. A little more detail, a little more passion could have made that scene sizzle.

And then there's Bella. She's a character we've come to know and love (or rather hate), but her sudden shift felt a bit like a car changing lanes without a signal. Out-of-character moves can be a great tool, but they need to be handled with care, like a loaded gun. This version of her felt a bit rushed, like we missed a few steps in her journey.

But don't get me wrong, this is still a commendable piece of work. I'm strapping in for the next chapters, ready to see where this road trip takes us next.

The literary promise of this tome is undeniable. I still find myself grappling with a certain disquiet over Jacob's destiny in Breaking Dawn, wouldn't you say? The prose, while generally commendable, could benefit from a bit of a nip and tuck here and there to enhance its rhythm and cadence.

As for our dear Edward, I do hope he won't be subjected to any character assassination. Even as a non-enthusiast, I can appreciate the importance of preserving the integrity of his original persona. It's a bit like keeping the monsters under the bed - they might scare you, but you'd miss them if they were gone.

With bated breath and a dash of anticipation, I await the unfolding of the subsequent chapters. Here's to hoping they're as thrilling as a ride on a haunted roller coaster!

Not Bella’s infamous khaki skirt making an appearance this chapter

That was a beautiful ending! From the beginning to the end your writing has really improved. The story was so heart warming. Well done.

What a wonderful final chapter. Everything really has come full circle. I'm looking forward to the epilogue.