|Reviews for Wait|
| Orioseo chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
ery well written. Your only error was in "and the twitching of his fingers twitching towards his wand.". Perhaps you should remove the second 'twitiching'?
Perhaps if you feel the story's not complete, you should add a secons chapter. You know, finish off what you started ...v
| MataHari-Chan chapter 1 . 5/13/2011
I know I sound like every other desperate fangirl, but I do believe I have fallen for you...okay, on second thought, I think I just really love your story. I do not want to come of as a total creeper.
I kind of wqnt to write you a story for these two. I can't promise anything mind-blowing but...I just like HarryxRon/Best Mates Shipping a lot and your story didn't follow the mold that most have set up for these two.
| oreo-and-proud chapter 1 . 2/1/2011
What on Earth are you talking about! The ending was my favorite part! You did a very good job with Ron's thoughts. This was very good.
| Nitrea chapter 1 . 6/28/2010
AAAAWWWWWW! That was so cute! You should make another chappy out of this because that one left me hanging! Love the story though!
-Love Nitrea ;)
| seasoned GN chapter 1 . 2/3/2009
Have you now, or ever been, a Grammar-Nazi? I ask this because you have impeccable writing ability with no mistakes in grammar or spelling present, and you also admit that you aren't completely satisfied with your story. The only instance that may be where you feel dissatisfaction would probably be the final line with Ron's contemplation. However, the most I can suggest for you to do is to contemplate for about five or ten minutes minimum about exactly how you feel that your version of Ron would be feeling at that moment in your story, and write that down in replacement of what you already have. Of course, in my opinion, this awkward phrasing in Ron's perspective portrays him precisely as how you've intended in your work; if it wasn't awkwardly worded, it would be much more appropriate for it to come from Hermione. I hope that you find my critique conducive to your peace of mind, and that you understand that I quite enjoyed reading this.
| your biggest fan chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
Um... right, okay.
| The Boy chapter 1 . 12/6/2008
Nothing wrong with it - its good. I liked it.
In fact, this review would look much more positive if you hadn't left your note on the story saying that something felt wrong. I know what feels off for me, but its very common for fanfiction, and even for professional contemporary short stories. Its kinda...unfinished. Its a vignette, a scene more than a story. The reader is assumed to know the beginning (which I do, so that's fine), and it gives the middle, and leaves the end un-said.
If I were to work on it, I would make an ending, even if it were just a small scene, maybe a year or so later. And, i'd take away Harry's kiss to Ron's hand - so that the end of this scene is a bit more subtle or ambiguous.
| Wateronthebrain chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
| LolaLines chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
I loved it !
No need to say I'm a fan of Ron/Harry pairing ! (also of Ron/Hermione, that's a little bit contradictory , isn't it?), and that's one of the reasons why I liked you story !
Nice job ! )
| graupelchen chapter 1 . 11/18/2008
hey! I think you did a great job! maybe you're just not satisfied with the end because one tends to be overly critical with his own stuff! ;) It's a little bit short...but that's okay! on the other hand you wouldn't hear me complaining if you decide to write a second chapter! ;)
| AmazingJay chapter 1 . 11/16/2008
I think you're confused because what I see here is a story fragment. Just a scene with no discernable beginning or ending. Sort of like you cut it out of the middle of a chapter. If you want to keep going with this, perhaps it would make more sense and not upset you quite so much? I liked it if my likes and dislikes count for anything but it seems incomplete.
| lovefan81 chapter 1 . 11/16/2008
So I'm not an author, but I can't find anything wrong with that story. For me it's perfect!
It's my first Harry/Ron story and I'm really considering reading more now.
I really liked it that you left the ending kind of open.
I really liked that story, hope you write more Harry/Ron ...
| Euclidian chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
Hm - well, I don't know what you're unhappy about. I think it flows very nicely, the emotions are right, the sequence of events is logical. You bring in the "I might put you in danger" bit, but you don't overdo it, as so many authors do. It feels like a good opening to developing a further relationship between Ron and Harry. I really like that in setting that up, you depict Ron as strong and caring, rather than the clueless wimp he is often portrayed to be. When you say in the endnote that you're confused, maybe you're just echoing Ron's confusion, so if you go with understanding and working through his confusion, you'll deal with your own at the same time. You've started with emotions and circumstances that feel real, not overblown, as so many writers do, so I hope you wil continue.