|Reviews for What could've been|
| jcampbellohten chapter 1 . 8/28
There are grammar problems, which make it hard for me to focus on the story. I'll try to go one more chapter, but if the pace doesn't pick up soon I don't think I'll be able to push myself past the grammar issues to continue. As for the story, itself:
Haha, it's funny in hindsight that Sarutobi muses about, "If only he'd been born a day later," because now we know the attack was tied in directly with his birth, so if he were born a day later the attack would have been a day later.
I don't think the switch was justified well. "Because I felt like it" is fine because, okay, a person just made a different decision; no justification needed. The logical part sounds weak to me, however. "Naruto and Sasuke will clash, and with Haruno there it'll blow up in our faces"? What is he basing that on? Does Sarutobi know all three of them that well? I seriously doubt it. Kiba learning about battling alongside dogs from Kakashi because of Kakashi's summons is an interesting angle, but it's pretty weak; using dog summons and Inuzuka fighting styles are totally different things, and Kiba learns the latter from his clan, anyway. You could have said, "A team specializing in tracking is liable to be weak in combat, so putting Naruto on Team 8 balances things out and gives Team 7 a tracker," or something.
If Minato said what Hiruzen tells Kurenai he said, why didn't Hiruzen tell the whole village what he said in a speech? It doesn't mark him as Minato's son, so he wouldn't be putting a target on Naruto's back that way... Well, maybe if the villagers were happy about his existence they would have been less tight-lipped about his being a jinchuuriki and word would have gotten out and people would come for him for that reason. That could make sense.
| Darkangel665 chapter 13 . 4/8/2014
You haven't updated in like forever! Yes an exaggeration but still about 3 years is a long time. You left us with a pretty big cliffhanger and the least you can do is resolve that. That is all I'm asking for so please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please update! I'll give you cookies!
| XxSilverXTearsxX chapter 13 . 12/28/2013
I know its been a few years but I love this story and I hope you update soon
| BlazeStryker chapter 13 . 6/24/2013
This was what Hiashi wanted, I despise him, and while I can barely believe that anyone would write him as being so callous that he'd very possibly get his own daughter killed just to remove an inconvenient ninja, I have to say you wrote it well.
| BlazeStryker chapter 8 . 6/24/2013
Gregory House, ninja doctor.. just without the Vicodin!
| osanna1234 chapter 13 . 9/5/2012
Hope the next chapter is soon
| ranneal chapter 8 . 9/2/2012
Actually, a very interesting chapter eventhough it contained lots of info and no fighting. Great writing.
| ranneal chapter 7 . 9/2/2012
Another great battle chapter...great job with showing Naruto defending his friends. I'm enjoying the story a lot.
| ranneal chapter 6 . 9/2/2012
Another excellent and fun chapter to read. A lot of great moments between Naruto and Hinata. I wonder what Hinata senses...and is watching them? Cool ending.
| ranneal chapter 5 . 9/2/2012
Shopping?...well it turned out to be a great chapter...I loved it.
| ranneal chapter 4 . 9/2/2012
What a great chapter...kind of a tear jerker at least for this guy...when Naruto gives the scrolls to his teammates and then they refuse them...for his sake. That was a super moment in the story:)
| ranneal chapter 3 . 9/1/2012
Very good action within the test...good cliffhanger ending too. This is a cool test for the team. Super chapter.
| ranneal chapter 2 . 9/1/2012
Great second chapter. I think that the team is set up well and they understand each other and can function. Team 7 in the manga was so different with the constant problems with each other. I like what you have done with the story and will read on.
| ranneal chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
I loved the chapter...the idea of putting Naruto on team 8 was well thought out and I liked the reasoning of the Third Hokage. Great job with the intros too. I am going to read on:)
| PhoenixRe chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
Haven't really got an opinion yet since I just started reading it but I would like to point out that it would probably be better to have Naruto from the get go to be in team 8 and have the Hokage and Iruka discuss something else than give that particular excuse for the change. I understand that you want to write a story where Naruto is in team 8 instead; nothing wrong with that. But if you will use an excuse for the change rather than have it be like that from the start you should probably make a more sound excuse. The you wrote it just seemed that you needed the change but couldn't think of a decent justification through the particular event and just tumbled around with words. I think that even giving the event as a reason but not explaining the justification would be better rather than a lukewarm excuse.
Just my personal opinion, I trust I that I didn't come off as too strong. My only purpose was to give my opinion for better writing...