|Reviews for The Battle or the War?|
| skandarshero chapter 3 . 7/9/2013
wht happens next last warning i mean its been to long hurry or else ...
| Wynter Greyy chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
Hiiii! Jizabella here! I will start by saying that I would have never discovered you if I haven't ever seen you question on Yahoo Answer LOL! But when you left us your username I was like since she write Yaoi imma check this out lol and thanks to you I now started like Narnia Fanfics! I would love to write another fanfic of my own for my followers but I have a huge writers block man. Do you think you can give me ideas on how to write a story about a kingdom. I need them for my story called Alternate Dimensions. Thank you! And keep up the good work!
| TheVinah chapter 3 . 6/20/2013
| Holy Ground X chapter 3 . 11/14/2012
Why is this in center align? Oh well, is this the end? Just another tip, you might try using some adverb conjunctions. And while ... is very useful I think, it's also considered to be rare, so you might be over using it a little. Please don't misconstrued me as being rude, I'm trying to offer constructive criticism. 3
| Holy Ground X chapter 2 . 11/14/2012
Good again, but just FYI, you want an em dash — not an - for where you have them :)
| Holy Ground X chapter 1 . 11/14/2012
Your gaia thread has brought me here in promises of returned reviews *-* I like your writing style, and the story, but don't you think your chapters are a bit short? I've seen James Patterson with longer chapters :/ Your grammar is also much better than most. Your descriptions, in the brevity of the chapter its kind of hard to tell but, are very good in my opinion.
| l3unniii chapter 3 . 8/10/2012
When did they become lovers? (I know this is more a question but I can't quite think of how Edmund and Peter became lovers just because they BOTH rule Narnia.. Don't u think that's a little to far?)
| Vyscaria chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
I like how you include logistics in Peter's considerations, most people just forget that troops need to eat and drink...
Otherwise, there are some words that are somewhat unnecessary to me; for example, "Peter seriously had to restrain himself" - In this phrase you are trying too hard to convince the reader when we really don't need convincing. Having "seriously" in there takes away from the atmosphere of the fic, it kind of jumped out at me.
A few typos here and there as well, and near the end you repeat "his brother" way too much. Not sure if you're noticing, but from "I've got this one, Lu…" to the end, you used "his brother" to refer to Edmund or Peter a total of 12 times. That's way too much, try to switch it up and use other descriptors. For example, if they differ in eye or hair color you could always use that.
But you do have some gems. For some reason this really struck a cord: "he saw his brother sitting tense and irate on a rock by the stream." Beautiful description.
| Anonymous Sister of the Author chapter 3 . 7/13/2010
everyone wants edmund. :)
| FallenUpStairs chapter 3 . 7/8/2010
I was checking my email and saw this email saying that The Battle or the War? was updated, and I thought: Whaa? Because I couldn't remember it then I read the summary, it hit me what it was and I got really happy, thank you for updating, it was a great chapter, but I forgive the fact it took so long, so you don't suck at least to me you don't. Post the next chapter when you can.
| cararook chapter 3 . 7/7/2010
I totally thought you abandonded this, but I'm SOOOOO glad you didn't. I love Peter even if he got a little over emotional (but still, you know, manly), that's what I've been looking for, I'm gettin sick of SPN gen and no action, lol. I hope that it updates real soon though... please don't make me wait another year?
| May Eve chapter 3 . 7/7/2010
Crossed fingers huh? xD Thank you for the update, this is certainly a fascinating and heartbreaking little chappie. Keep up the good work!
| KatieMalfoy19 chapter 3 . 7/7/2010
Ahhh! So glad you updated! I loved this chapter! Awesome job on it! Its so sad! And I feel bad for both Peter and Edmund, because it's glaringly obvious Edmund is still gonna go to Miraz. Hes gonna do what needs to be done to protect his family and the Narnians. I've always felt that Edmund undervalues himself(in both fanfics and in the movies). I just can't wait for more! Please update soon! Katie
| Lise Pretter chapter 2 . 1/13/2010
O, please dont stop! Its fantastic!
| Noir Cullen chapter 2 . 12/25/2009
i love it.i think it would be better if there are more tragedy added to the story like [censored]Ed got raped by miraz...or something like the new chap. comes up soon