Reviews for Chronicles of a Former Cammy Do Girl
The Crimson Thief chapter 12 . 12/3/2015
This is a fantastic story Shayne is an awesome character, and Brujah are one of my favorite clans I know you haven't updated this story in a while and hope you decide to pick it up again soon.
Bloody-Asphode11 chapter 10 . 4/9/2010







get the message yet?

rednightmare chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
I'm enjoying this fic! I think you've got a really interesting take on a lot of old characters - with enough of your own original content added in to keep us waiting for new surprises. Really intrigued by your "human" spin on Jeanette, and the back-story you've come up with for Nines. (Been trying something of the sort myself, as of late!) Nice character exploration, all around.

Grammatical nitpick: sometimes the paragraphs can get a bit "stumbly" in places due to run-on, but nothing a few period brakes can't fix.

Chapter one's "Snake cake, what are you still doing in here?" made me giggle out loud. Oh, Chunk, how I miss you.
The Deb of Night chapter 12 . 7/25/2009
Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, they mean a lot and thanks for the constructive critism. I appreciate that as well.

I haven’t abandon this story in the least bit, and I still have big plans for things yet to come. However I’ve been a little slow. I had a friend come in from California for two weeks, I’ve been in the process of getting my son ready to go back to school, and we’ve had rain storms out the yin yang which messes with my internet connection.

I am working on a new chapter though, possibly two, and hope to have an update ready by the end of the week.

Once again thanks so much for the reviews!
tarnishedgoldandarsnic chapter 2 . 7/20/2009
i like this story so far. I agree that the punctuation needs to be worked on a bit but it's not so bad it causes problems with reading. I enjoy the character's development and the little hints you get about her past though. Still I wish we knew a bit more about the fledgling in general.
TheRedPoet chapter 6 . 7/14/2009
Well, I feel that after reading 5 chapter, it's only fair I give you the long overdue review.

The story in itself is good and I'm rather caught in the plot so far.

Now to the (constructive) criticism.

The sentence-structure is rather horrible, especially when it comes to the dilagoue.

Check a few others stories and/or books and compare.

I'm sure you'll be able to fix it quite easily.

Keep going, writing's not easy.
nienorbun chapter 12 . 6/25/2009
Hi there,

I really enjoyed your story: it was very inventive while staying true to the characterizations established in the game. You have a great flair for dialogue.

One word of constructive criticism: run-on sentences are your big downfall! Doing a review of your sentence structure and varying the sentence lengths more would bring up the reading enjoyment of this story immensely.

I look forward to reading more of your stories set in the Vampires world.


If you go round the back outside there's a shed with a power switch. Turn it on and run back to the main dome room. If you get it right you can squish the werewolf in the outside dome doors.
Maileesaeya chapter 12 . 6/10/2009
This has been... interesting, if nothing else. I'm trying to write a fanfic as a novelization of Bloodlines myself, though it's kind of difficult, despite the fact that I've played through it at least five times (and I'm pretty sure I've done each quest in the game at least once as well...).
Ellieee777 chapter 2 . 5/28/2009
The Deb of Night chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
Update coming soon. Chapter's 9 through 12 are written out and ready to be proof read and Chapter 13 is almost completed.

The update should be posted either this weekend or Monday sometime.
jp33 chapter 5 . 2/9/2009
Please update soon.
Padme4000 chapter 5 . 1/25/2009
I really enjoyed reading this
The Deb of Night chapter 5 . 1/7/2009
For those of you that are following this story and read the reviews.

I have in no way abandoned this story, the holidays coming around and my son being on Christmas Break kind of slowed down my time to write. (Have you ever tried to argue the need to use your computer with a small child playing a game, tragically you loose every time.)

Also I kind of got sucked into making another run through Bloodlines over the Holiday and now I am determined to beat the game once more, and actually beat the dreaded werewolf using the Observatory doors. Wish me luck on that one.

The other thing is this, I will be updating the story very soon as I have several chapters written out that I am proof reading and checking, but I was also struck with the inspiration to write the Prequel to Chronicles. Shayne’s life before she was embraced and the nifty little story that I came up with for that. So you can expect it to be popping up soon.

Most of all thank you for reading and reviewing my story, the comments and urging to go on have been excellent and I appreciate it so much.

The Deb of Night
Belgalen chapter 5 . 12/11/2008
The history keep getting better and better. (Shame we probably never gonna see another game like this) I wonder is the cabie friend of Jack is going to make a return (with all the theories about him that lurk around)
The Deb of Night chapter 2 . 12/10/2008
Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing, just wanted to let you know rthat I should be updating either tonight or tomorrow night with a pretty massive update.

Thanks again for reviewing and I'm glad your enjoying it!
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