Reviews for Beauty of a diffrent kind
Desirable Secrets chapter 1 . 6/7
it's an interesting story concept but your writing is choppy. I feel with a little bit of editing your story will flow better and be less confusing.

for instance, when you explain the dream Derek had you use nothing but pronouns. when you have two or more characters with the same gender you need to address the character before using a pronoun. That way it is less confusing on the reader

I hope my advice helps you
Delete-account-please-7125744 chapter 4 . 9/14/2015
This was really good story I hope you will update soon.
twilightmecrazii chapter 4 . 12/4/2010
loved it amazing i hope u continue it
twilightmecrazii chapter 3 . 12/4/2010
loved it awesome
twilightmecrazii chapter 2 . 12/4/2010
loved it awesome
twilightmecrazii chapter 1 . 12/4/2010
loved it awesome
Anonymous chapter 3 . 9/7/2010
Your story is okay, but I don't like Demona. I just find her annoying.
Guest chapter 4 . 8/26/2010
omg I can't wait to see who makes the first move. Can't wait to read more.
norwaygirl94 chapter 4 . 4/29/2010
Seems intresting:)
Weissangel24 chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
I like your story, however, you've got to learn how to use a comma, Dude. Most of your sentences are run-ons, which makes it difficult to read. Writing is wonderful, and there is no such thing as natural talent. If you can learn how to use punctuation correctly, it would improve your stories immensely. I suggest, when you've finished writing a page, or a paragraph, to read it out loud. Your ear will catch what should be natural breaks in the sentence where commas and periods belong.

The other major stand out, that I noticed, was that you mix up your verb tenses. If you start out in past-tense (had, was, been, etc)then you need to keep it in past-tense and your verb suffix should almost always be 'ed; if you are using present-tense (is, are, have, etc) than your verbs should match with an 'ing ending.

I'd be willing to beta your stories if you would like. I admit, I can be seemingly harsh, but it would help you grow as a writer to find someone to look over your stories (whether it is me or someone else). I could also send you some guidelines, that I learned in my College English courses, on punctuation and the types of sentences; they have helped me personally in my writing abilities.

Keep writing! That's the only way to improve!
IchigoPudding chapter 4 . 6/19/2009
Hehe, poor Spence.

~IP~
IchigoPudding chapter 3 . 6/19/2009
Yay for Demona :D

~IP~
IchigoPudding chapter 2 . 6/19/2009
Aww, poor Spence.

~IP~
IchigoPudding chapter 1 . 6/19/2009
LOL Coolness.

~IP~
concerned chapter 3 . 6/7/2009
please for the love of god stop bolding the print.
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