|Reviews for Into the Darkness|
| Kats Flower Girls chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
I like it! I love Alice & Jasper the most out of all the Cullen's, but I'm more of a wolf girl... I think you did a great job showing how J & A relate to each other... very well written... If you decide to continue... I'd like to hear more about A & J's search for the Cullen's... and just one line doesn't quite sound right. "You know damn well I’d never let go if she died and I wasn’t here" I think instead of "I'd never let go" maybe say "I couldn't stand it" or "I would hate myself forever"... just flows better to my ears... Well, I enjoyed your story! Great Job!
| normal-on-strike3zq chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
THat was cute. very sweet. I love Alice Jasper.
| korracentric chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
AW I LUV IT )
| Omega Graecisso chapter 1 . 1/25/2009
well here we go time to land the reviewing blow upon your stories and hopefully get a chance to tie up adult nessie along the way (you know she's gonna be walking sex)
Mkay, well, firstly, the length of this one makes it a bit hard to judge - longer then a dribble, shorter then a true oneshot. I'd say it's got dribble qualities to it (single scene, single idea) so I'll go with that.
This one starts off really well - the story is about Alice's struggling with herself and Jasper helping, so it makes him seem competent immediately (which he obviously is.) The conservation starts with very good flow, which is very important. (just so you know, i'm going to use the word flow about five hundred times - my definition of it is 'the opposite of either short/choppy or long/drawnout' and i consider it integral to most fanfiction genres.) you forgot some punctuation, though. nice job fixing that, allison. *whips*
I like that this is enough to push Alice to spitting harshly, too - not a side we get to see enough normally. (it's spelled incapacitated, i'm pretty sure. another whip for the beta.)
ending - not the strongest line, but good enough. ending lines, like flow, are another important touch in that they're one of the things i'm good at and it turns out that i think they're very important woo that works out wonderfully
i also really like the irony of this story when compared to later Breaking Dawn, when Jasper's the self-doubting one and they actually do leave.
good overall. 7/10, probably. that earns you a Kristen Stewart on the female scale. on to the next one...
| Mrs Hale chapter 1 . 1/8/2009
Your right-there are not enough Alice and Jasper FanFics out there. So thank-you for writing such a good one.
| loveislouder94 chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
Nicely done, and true to the characters. :)
| blondie chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Aww, you absoloutly have to write more of these!
| ElisaCollette chapter 1 . 11/18/2008
This is a very sweet story - it's nice to see some of the "down time" between Alice and Jasper. They have such a nice relationship but it's not usually the focus... Great job!
| sex wife chapter 1 . 11/17/2008
Huzzah! What is this...the first Alice/Jasper fic of all time? I believe it is. Congrats to you, m'lday! You did them very well. You have a good understanding of their chemistry, and showed it well here. Next Challenge: A non-cannonical pairing. Can you do it? O.o You can do anything, silly.
| Ember Sage chapter 1 . 11/17/2008
That was really good! :D I really enjoyed your portrayal of Alice's frustration, I think it really did justice to this paticular situation. Great job! :D
| pricel chapter 1 . 11/17/2008
Very well done one-shot.
| Permanent Rose chapter 1 . 11/17/2008
Perfect! You're right, there are definitely not enough Alice/Jasper fics out there. You did them both perfectly in character. You've effectively shown Alice's frustration (I would know :D) and Jasper's devotion to his wife rather than the rest of the Cullen family. I would love to see you do more Alice/Jasper
Keep up the good work darling!