Reviews for Steel Wings
The Last Poison Apple chapter 2 . 10/23/2013
I really liked this! It felt good in all the right places.
SerenePanic chapter 2 . 3/3/2013
Oh my gosh. The ending line of the omake was hilarious.

Good story! I love how Vivio was terrified by the rumors about Nanoha, and how Vita just blew up. And the banter between Mariel, Vivio, and Vita was hilarious.
tanithlipsky chapter 2 . 4/17/2012
mllhild chapter 2 . 12/25/2011
I felt really sorry for Nanoha when Vivio did get scarred of her.

The part where you say that her linker core got damaged seems a bit of to me since when they found Vivio the first time in StrikeS they made a medical exam where they discovered that she was an artificial mage and also said that here magic power was high but inside normal patterns (not insane like Nanoha, Fate or Hayate). But you needed something to get Nanoha blaming herself and it did just fit right, after all this is fanfiction.

"what we call Belkan-style, not the real thing like Hayate or the Wolkenritter or Vivio use,"

rather than saying real thing it would have looked more consistent if Yuuno did refer to Vivio's style like old/antique Belkan-style since their styles come from before the the fall of the Belkan Empire.

All together I loved you story. Of course Vivio actually shouldn't be scared of dying... since she will be together with her Fate-mama. sorry for the bad joke.
GoldenDragon326 chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
"Watch it, Vita, or next time you've got Graf Eisen in for a tune-up I'll insert piko-piko parts so he squeaks when he hits things."


Can you imagine... well... anyone's reaction when Vita and Graf Eisen hits some big-bad monstrosity and the split second before it goes Ka-Boom, a loud SQUEAK is heard? .


And then the omake theater!

"But...but...isn't that just Fate-mama?"

Haha. Don't tell Fate that.
Mooniecat chapter 2 . 7/30/2010
Ah the story was... hmmm, interesting but kinda a bit too lacking as if it wouldn't already be realized how Vivio's magic worked. But the guilt of Nanoha was quite likely how she would react if they didn't know. It just seemed a bit improbable but good for the most part. The stroke of genius was the omake. It was worth the read.
Another Duck chapter 2 . 12/10/2009
While I did like this story, there were one thing in particular that bugged me. It's been shown several times that falls don't hurt them that much if they've got any defence left. Nanoha took a tumble into a building from Vita first time they met, and Fate, who's weaker defensively, has been through similar things as well.

Vivio, with her very powerful defences, should easily have been able to cope with a fall. All that for a little bit of angst, that was eclipsed by the real thing anyway, so it didn't even have that much of an impact on the story.

On the other hand, it's well in character for Nanoha to hide such things from everyone else. She did it in the first season quite explicitly, and it's one of those things no one ever thought to change in her.

Also as pointed out, even if Vivio believed the stories about Nanoha, the high-powered Starlight Breaker in the Cradle did show what she could do, so a mere training session couldn't really be much worse.

Despite all that, it made for a good story.
shanejayell chapter 2 . 10/16/2009

Yeah, I guess Vivio really wouldn't be frightened by scythes...

Oh, loved the story, too. Great series.
Rathmun chapter 2 . 8/3/2009
"Vivio's Magical Omake Theater!

The candle flickered, casting weird shadows across the faces of everyone in the circle.

"And then...and then..." Nanoha intoned in a sepulchral voice, "the farmer turned to see a threatening figure, dressed all in black, carrying a giant scythe!"

"Ek!" Caro yelped, then realized that the six-year-old next to her hadn't so much as flinched at the climax of the ghost story. "Vivio, aren't you scared?"

"But...but...isn't that just Fate-mama?""

I LOLed.
Jumper Prime chapter 2 . 11/27/2008
I finally got around to posting a review. So the only thing stopping Vivio from flying was her own defensive magic. Ironic that, though it just goes to show just how powerful her defenses are. Trading off defensive armor for flight capability was clever, but I don't think Vivio thought beyond touching the sky and getting her mama out of her funk. Now that Vivio has Valkyrie Mode, Vita's gonna put her through a whole new level of Hell to get her using it effectively, starting with an airborne variant of the exercise they were doing at the start of Shell Game, only the blasts will be coming from every direction, up, down, left, right, front, and back. Gotta get that girl thinking 3-dimensionally if she's gonna make it as a flyer. And this exercise is even more important than the ground-bound version they've been doing up to now. Since Vivio has to dump a few layers of armor in order to get into the air, a blast that she could laugh off in Armor Mode might cause serious damage if it hit her when she's in Valkyrie Mode.

And I think I've got an idea for her third mode: In keeping with the Viking theme of Valkyrie Mode, the third one could be called Berserker Mode. Like Valkyrie mode, it dumps some defense power into another aspect of Vivio's magic, but instead of mobility, it goes straight into attack power, so she can finally get some serious offensive punch. Perhaps Berserker Mode would also cause Parsifal to morph into a weapon, maybe a battleaxe, in keeping with the viking theme, or a cannon, to give her that long-wished for long range capability.
Black Tornado chapter 2 . 11/26/2008
Well you're done a nice job with this chapter as well.

OK now the ranting (you're going have to put up with it unfortunately) the story emphasis on Vivio as Nanoha talks about her guilt really pans out the character from what we know from Strikers about their relationship and revelation, also growing Vivio to show how much she cares about her mama to what extent really help with making it more enjoyable.

Despite having such a small scene Yunno did make a lot of comment which really helped with us readers (in clearing up or confirming) about our thoughts, also when we move up to the engineer checking the data you also made it apparent how much Vivio is concern about her device, even if it’s one line.

During the explanation of Vivio “magic nullifier” ability is interesting as you’ve taken the idea when Scalleti mention the “Saint Armour” that Vivio poses, this of course gives a valid explaining which you can reason to be true.

Confirm this with me but somehow when you describe Vivio “new” armour it made me think of a Valkyrie , is that the picture you’re trying to think up (or could it be her old armour we all saw back in Strikers?)

All in all I like it quite a lot so keep going

Update soon

From your the interviewer/reviewer (the former is defiantly untrue!)


Ps. You have a few mistakes but they’re barely noticeable but to help here’s one line I took note "Treat you to a juice or something while we wait?" and some others as well but that’s about it
Sunder the Gold chapter 2 . 11/25/2008
Mechanically, this chapter (and perhaps the last one) have paragraphs that are far too rushed. A lot is crammed into them without much spacing for digestion, like you're in a hurry to get past it and onto other things.

Fufufu. Vivio underestimates how humiliating it would be for Graf Eisen if 'it' (last I checked, Armed Devices have no gender) squeaked like a piko-piko mallet. That would totally ruin the awe. Truly, one should beware the support staff.

Yay, an appearance by Yuuno!

Guess I'll have to check that place out for the doujin.

Yeah, Vivio would think that Ol' Grim was ripping off Mommy rather than the other way around.
markesellus chapter 2 . 11/24/2008
And Vivio can fly! w00t! Ah the angst from Nanoha, some interesting stuff put in there. I like the part about how Nanoha was more used to supporting Fate in the relationship. It's a good place to put in some Yuuno screen time. I like the concept with Sonic Move and Vivio's flying nice connection there. I smell so NanoVita hints, but only slightly. I laughed so hard at the VMOT. This one was so great. Oh god, Fate just got shut down.
RadiantBeam chapter 2 . 11/24/2008
"Watch it, Vita, or next time you've got Graf Eisen in for a tune-up I'll insert piko-piko parts so he squeaks when he hits things."

I love your style of writing for the interaction with Mariel, Vita, and Vivio. The way you write it seems so believable; it's almost like I'm standing there listening to them. And a squeaking Graf Eisen... jeez, that's an image!

In paticular, I liked your explaination about the kind of damage Vivio took after the Relic was removed from her. It's never touched on in the anime as to exactly what kind of aftershocks are going to be felt from it, and it makes sense that her Linker Core would be so drastically changed like that.

But hey, in the end, Vi got her wings and flew with Nanoha again. It's a sweet parting image.

As for your omake... I knew that joke was coming. I KNEW it. And of course, Vivio isn't afraid, because she automatically thinks of Fate. Sweet little kid. (Though she's not so little in either of our stories anymore... how ironic, she's fifteen in yours and in Never Confessed I upped her age to fifteen.)
handlewithcare chapter 2 . 11/24/2008
Awesome. Don't worry, the SB-effect is plausible.

Nanoha's motherly side is so lovely.

Magnificent piece of work.

You need to write moar Fate-chan.
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