|Reviews for Subterfuge|
| Guest chapter 65 . 5/26/2013
To be honest Bobby kind of weirds me out-Craig can't even go to the bathroom without asking. Thats not parenting that's hell.
And then Bobby for some reason HAS to sleep in the bed with Craig-this wouldn't bother me (it'd actually be pretty cute) if Bobby didn't force Craig to sleep with Bobby's arm on him-that's a little too close to someones rape nightmare for me-sometimes Craig doesn't want Bobby to touch him and Bobby forces it (Thats awful). I kind of agree with Angel-Bobby needs to back off and let Craig be Craig. He's 14 not 2 Bobby should not be able to dictate when he takes a shit and goes to bed. Its a little too close to Macks behavior and an abusive lover-they do something bad and then try and make up for it by telling their punching bag that they do that stuff because they love them. Every time Bobby acts particularly creepy he goes on and on about how much he loves him-weird.
Every word out of Bobby's mouth seems to be a threat and poor Craig can't even take a moment to act like a 14 year old be entitled to his own opinion. Instead Bobby keeps saying "you can't draw unless I see it", "You can't say anything in a tone I don't like", "you can't get up without asking" That's not loving thats what a possessive asshole does when he wants to control your life!
if anyone I think Craig should probably live with Jack-he knows when to be firm and to relax. U don't get a kid to make yourself a better person-you get a kid to make life good for them. A key element in this series seems to be that Evelyn thought Bobby needed Craig-thats fucked up. A kid should not have to put up with an aggressive control freak just to help the ADULT.
| J chapter 81 . 3/2/2013
I know you wrote this years ago and probably won't read this, but I still thought I should tell you that it's really good and kept me entertained for at least a week.
| PersonifyThis chapter 81 . 9/26/2011
I love seeing Bobby and Craig's relationship progress beyond brothers. You're reasoning is so right, Craig really needs a father and Bobby totally could use a son to settle him down... I love your writing! Hehehe :D
| MCalhen chapter 81 . 10/26/2009
Wow, the rest of the chapters just sort of flew by. I couldn't really stop reading after a while, the suspense and action was forcing me on to the next page because I had to know what happened next. :')
MACKS IS DEAD. Like, really dead. :') *happy dance*
That really scared me. Bobby can't die, but almost getting shot by Macks? Still terrified me to death. I've really enjoyed this story, and I plan on reading the next one now, although it probably won't happen tonight with as late as it is here in my time zone. That, and I have a lot of silly obligations. xD
I thought of something else - the psychological aspects like with Craig and everything are done really well. I have loved the emotions and the consistency in this story. You have my admiration for that, because I'm not always so good with those things. And the pacing of the story, despite that it is extremely long, works really well. There's so much action and yet still breaks for humor and emotion and background - it's all really balanced nicely.
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story. It has really been an enjoyable read so far, as were the other two, and I'm looking forward to what kind of hijinks will occur in the next one. :D
| MCalhen chapter 68 . 10/25/2009
That was heartwarming and yet sad - I'm glad that Craig was able to allow himself to hug Bobby and sort-of hug Jack. :) They'll come back! They are Mercers, after all! But I'm definitely happy Craig gave in to wanting to cling to them, and didn't overdo it by starting to beg, either. I like that he wasn't cold at the very end, just as they were about to walk out that door. It really makes me feel optimistic, although I'm also anxious about what's going to happen next. :)
| MCalhen chapter 67 . 10/25/2009
I liked being able to see Sofi and Angel alone for a bit in chapter 66 - it was kind of a nice little refreshing view into their relationship together! :)
My heart is aching at the whole thing with Craig and Jack - well, the way Craig is acting with all his brothers right now, really. I want them all to get along, but I do understand that Craig is scared, and he thinks he's going to lose everyone and end up back in Macks' hands. ;-;
Onto the next chapter. :)
| MCalhen chapter 56 . 10/24/2009
For some reason I got completely mixed up with Higgins and thought his name was Harris. Silly me. D: I just remembered an H name, oh boy. *embarrassed* But I wondered if he had had anything to do with Green's shooting, though. He was the person I was thinking about. I'm sorry my older review was probably so confusing with me saying Harris instead of Higgins. I feel so silly now... :(
I LOVED the whole thing about Jerry wearing bunnies and clouds, and it was a nice touch to have Green tease him. Really awesome. I also have to note that you made Green feel unsafe after having been shot, which seems so natural. I struggle in my own writing to convey believable emotions after something, but you seem to pull it off so smoothly.
I have to say it again - I love when characters veer off the path you choose for them in a story and do their own thing. It really is awesome, and sometimes you can do nothing but sit back and let it happen. Kind of makes me curious what you planned to do, because I'm always curious about those things, and I know how it goes with how differently it ends up once the characters take the reigns. Though it mostly happens with original fiction for me, rather than fanfiction.
Still really enjoying this, and it's good to see so much focus on all the characters. I actually felt like watching the movie again yesterday, since I was sick and couldn't sleep, but my eyes weren't focusing on much, and it just reminded me how in character you've kept all the characters - nothing they do in this seems out of place, and the movie refreshed my memory and confirmed that even more. You've added life beyond where the movie had to end, and that's really something. ')
| MCalhen chapter 52 . 10/24/2009
Wow, lots of action going on the last few chapters. I kind of got wrapped up and carried away, and I still don't want to stop reading.
I'm really glad that so far, the Mercer Brothers haven't been harmed, but there's still quite a few chapters to go, so I don't know... But I tell you, I was panicking on what would happen next. I feel terrified for Craig. With Macks coming back all the time, it's like it just reinforces that feeling that Macks won't ever die, that he'll always come back, even from the dead. That really terrifies me. He's one scary SOB. :(
I noted something while reading this that really impressed me. You mentioned Jerry's phone being dead several chapters ago, and then people were frustrated at getting ahold of him - it's all very consistent. You've done that several times, actually. It's something I've struggled with in my own writing - to keep facts like that consistent, and add hints and stuff in earlier chapters. It's not an easy job to do, but you pulled it off great. :')
It's almost 4 a.m. here, and my eyes are threatening to shut, and my brain is screaming, "READ MORE." This story is addictive, and your writing just gets better and better.
| MCalhen chapter 48 . 10/24/2009
Now it seems like I have something to say for every chapter. This oen was really, really intense. I was literally on the edge of my seat, gripping at my mouse like it was a lifeline as I made it page down further and further... Wow. This one was a very good chapter. It kept me just...so tense.
The panic set in when Bobby found out the name of Dearth's informant. I just started getting so nervous, but that wasn't enough. The ending, with Jerry...I hope him and Angel will be okay, but seriously, that really makes me want to cry. Jerry has been trying so hard, he just wants something normal for his family, including his brothers but especially for his little girls, and that keeps being taken away from him. :(
Very good chapter. You're amazing, you know that? :') I probably need to start thinking about heading to bed, but the only thing I actually see myself doing is heading on to the next chapter... :)
| MCalhen chapter 47 . 10/24/2009
I love when characters start talking so much they do their own things and won't be quiet. It seems to be fun, just letting them carry on. It keeps everything interesting. :)
I LOVED the whole thing about Winston being flypaper and Macks being a fly. xD That was PERFECT. So fitting and clever.
Oh boy Bobby Mercer is talking to Dearth. This will be interesting! :D
| MCalhen chapter 46 . 10/23/2009
Now I'm worried for Jerry and Angel as well - something doesn't feel right about those "rats". I get the feeling there's something more to it, like maybe Harris. I'm guessing Harris is the one that shot Green, since Macks was at the interviews and claimed to Jordan that he didn't shoot him...
Or maybe the "rat" is Macks. Now I'm really nervous. Please, please, please let everyone be okay. I know, I know, that's not how it works. I'm a crazy optimist sometimes. :')
I hope Green lives though. I really do. I choked up so bad in the movie during the scene he dies. :(
I'm kind of sickened by Jordan. I mean, he's watched Macks do such awful things, and helped him do those awful things... I think if I had someone threatening and blackmailing me to do stuff, I would rather just have that person kill me than assist in them killing someone else. ;-; Especially if the victims would be kids.
I loved Jerry and Angel talking about responsibility. That was a great, short little conversation. It's so like Jerry, too, to say something like that. I love how well you keep everyone in character - not only that, but how well you handle them in new situations. :)
I'm still enjoying this, and I hope my long reviews aren't spamming up your inbox too much. I tend to ramble on when I'm enjoying something, but sometimes I don't think half of what I say is relevant to showing how much I love this. ;-;
All I know is that you're stories have completely captured me and they make me think about stuff, and they're well-written, and you've got a lot of great action going on, which stays so true to Four Brothers. Great job!
| MCalhen chapter 43 . 10/23/2009
Please let Green be all right. ;-;
I'm glad Jack's caught on. He was immediately suspicious of Jones, which makes sense to me. Jerry, Angel, and Bobby have never met the guy, so they wouldn't know what Macks' presence feels like, how intense it can be or make them feel. They have only seen Craig's drawings. I wonder what Craig was going through and thinking?
Still, so worried about Green now. :(
| MCalhen chapter 40 . 10/22/2009
I like Dearth, and I feel like he really had no choice, and he's trying to make the best one to protect Craig. Macks/Jones is an intimidating guy, and the editor seems to only want a story, too. Heh, just like reality. ):
I can't help but feel proud of Craig and all the other Mercers for coping so well through the questioning. You're very good at emotion and showing the tension during a scene. It is really gripping. I swear I'm not ever going to stop saying that, at this point, because this is getting better and better, and I've been saying that since the beginning. :')
I feel just a bit sorry for Jordan at this point, like he knows he's done wrong and now Macks is treating him like dirt and abusing him and such. No matter what he's done, he deserves to go to jail, but not that crap. And Macks thinks what Jordan did was fine, anyway, which it wasn't, and even Jordan is aware of that - I think moreso than ever. Very scary and it makes me have to think about a lot that I've never thought about before. It's kind of scary, because I'm not sure what my opinion even is, exactly, because I hate Jordan and yet here I am pitying him. And like I said earlier, I know he's no Macks so...yeah. D:
But I like Dearth. He seems like a good guy, and for his wife and kid and himself, I hope whatever he does is the right thing, but also something that isn't going to terribly endanger his family. I can't help but worry about what Macks would do if Dearth doesn't publish that information. He might take it out on the wife and unborn child, for all I know, and that makes me really, REALLY nervous and scared for Dearth. :( Hopefully his talk with Green will reveal more, and I'm praying their two heads together can come up with some way to protect Craig and himself. I think he should hand over the contact's name - it'll be useful, because I'm sure Green would find him suspicious.
Ah, but here I am rambling about what I hope to see and all that, and I should be reading on. ;) Haha. So I guess I'll get to find out how this story goes and have to set aside all my speculations and hopes. xD;
Great job. I'm still absolutely adoring this series, or else I don't think I would be doing this instead of sleeping off this cold or flu I have. Haha. :)
| MCalhen chapter 31 . 10/22/2009
Ahahaha, that was the funniest "punishment" ever. I couldn't help but laugh like crazy after Bobby took the chair away and the smoke detector is going off and... :')
That was brilliantly funny. Haha, I can sit and stare at nothing for a long time, I just get story ideas. Gay florists, though? That was hilarious. That really amused me. I think I'd have just gotten up from the corner after all that, though. I don't think I could take that wallpaper. Wallpaper is terrible, evil stuff sometimes.
Glad Bobby didn't burn down the house. That was so cute at the end, with the ice and the fire in the pan and all that. I really got some giggles out of that. I love lighthearted breaks like that. :)
Though I did feel kind of sad at the beginning of Chapter 30, with Craig reflecting on all the control and Macks and such. That made me understand better what he's going through - if only he'd tell Bobby that stuff! :( And it was achingly sad and yet sweet after the mouth soaping to have Bobby comforting Craig, too. So it was all sort of balanced to where it was serious, but gradually turning into a humorous situation over the last couple of chapters.
| MCalhen chapter 29 . 10/22/2009
Well, one thing can be said about Jordan - at least he's not as bad as Macks. He knows he's wrong, at least, and that he needs help. Macks thinks he's king of the world and what he does to others is completely acceptable. D:
Argh I must know whose body they found in the pond. Dyin' here. ;-; Haha, no, you have to keep the readers guessing so they want to keep reading. But woah it's driving me nuts wondering who they actually found in that pond. Macks obviously knows it was there, so he had something to do with it, I'm sure.
I'm glad Bobby and Green and everyone all talked. I just knew Craig wasn't going to like that, but he can do it! It won't be scary - doesn't he know by now that his brothers aren't going to put up with other people messing with him? But his trust issues are understandable. :(
No matter what happy endings I want, I know that what keeps this going is that tension and the fact that it wouldn't be realistic if the characters weren't reacting to stuff the way they would act. You've done a splendid job of keeping all the original cast in character, as well as being consistent with who you've added. :) Very good job. It's not easy sometimes to keep characters in character, but if anything, you've added to them so much. :D
Oh boy, what's Craig in for? Cliffhanger. He shouldn't give such attitude to Bobby, who just wants to help. I can't talk though, because I can relate to him, and I've been known to use the silent treatment as well. xD