|Reviews for Denouement|
| elwren75 chapter 14 . 4/22/2014
Beautiful! I think you're channeling The author for this chapter! It was truly amazing.
| elwren75 chapter 12 . 4/22/2014
I am so impressed with your writing. You've portrayed Maerad and Cadvan so well. The story is so heart-wrenching, but hope still remains. I want to protect them both!
| elwren75 chapter 9 . 4/22/2014
What will Cadvan do? Will he admit to the murder when he takes Adian back to Innail? Will Maerad want her rapist to stand trial? Can we hope for a relatively happy ending? Must read more!
| Andrew Roy chapter 14 . 4/22/2014
Absolutely love it! Just finished reading the Pellinor series for the second time through and I felt like I wanted a bit more so I came here. I feel that you nailed the character of Cadvan perfectly, everything he says just seems...right :)
| elwren75 chapter 8 . 4/21/2014
Oh, Cadvan! I am anxious to see how Maerad will bring you back. She needs you. What are you doing here?
| elwren75 chapter 7 . 4/21/2014
Will his ward work against Cadvan? I don't want Cadvan to be a murderer, but I hope he can punish Adian.
| elwren75 chapter 5 . 4/21/2014
Poor Maerad. She is so conflicted. She wants love and the nearness of another human being, and yet since her attack she cannot bear it. You've conveys this perfectly.
| elwren75 chapter 3 . 4/21/2014
This is so well written-so intense and urgent, and yet the readers-and Cadvan must have patience. Poor Maerad. I hope she can trust Cadvan enough to speak with him. If she cannot speak, she cannot heal.
| elwren75 chapter 1 . 4/21/2014
Wow, What a heart-breaking beginning for both of them. Beautifully done. I can't wait to read more!
| Kangarooney chapter 10 . 1/7/2014
Oh, and just one question more: What is the meaning of the title? I have seen other people using various complicated words as titles which relate to/define their story. I'm only interested.
| Kangarooney chapter 13 . 1/7/2014
I have to say, I found the beginning, oh, four chapters of this tale so very long ago. I found it interesting, yet so similar to many of the various spin-offs of Pellinor, it remained stagnant, not updated for many a month. I turned away, and forgot about it.
Recently, I've been attempting to update My stagnant Pellinor story, but it has been so long since I have read the books, I needed somewhere to remember how they spoke; and so I came here.
It is truly brilliant to find another author who has updated their story rather, well, REGULARLY compared to everyone else within this small community. And so, without anymore nonsensical drabble...
This has transformed FANTASTICALLY. In the beginning I found it rather interesting, but when I saw how long it had been, I wrote it off and left. Now that I am back - and have read all the way to Ch. 13 - I can't BELIEVE how it has turned out. You're doing a great job with the speech (something I've always had trouble with), the characters are definitely holding true to their usual characteristics, and the plotline has remained good and strong the whole way long.
I am now EAGER-ly awaiting your future updates; even if many months lie between them, I know that every chapter will be good - indeed each will be better than the last!
P.s. My own story currently lies beneath your own, yet a year lies between our updates. I have not seend a duller community than ours, so very few people read, and even less participate in writing.
| McKenzieAnne chapter 13 . 11/5/2013
This is wonderfully written! I just read through the whole thing as fast as I could and I loved it. If you have written anyone I would love to see it updated so j can read it :)
| Guest chapter 13 . 5/22/2013
ooooh pleease continue! iscadvan forbidden from fighting hulls, even?
| Blue-Inked Frost chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Already done chapter thirteen, so down to chapter one! It should satisfy some of my lingering curiosity, too. :)
I thought this chapter began with some initial, interesting descriptions - not an action scene, but there's enough detail there to visualise winter and snow.
Nitpick - "the desolate landscape appeared more akin to the moon in its hospitality" - 'more' is unnecessary, since the landscape is only being compared to one thing and since 'appeared akin' makes a stronger simile alone.
Cadvan's musings on Maerad lost my attention a bit as a reader, but to a fan of the canon they might be more interesting. I felt that part was not very dynamic since there was no action or plot advancement in it, and because I still don't know the characters much. But a Cadvan/Maerad shipper might find that part exactly what they were looking for.
Maerad's racing scene in the snowstorm grabbed my interest again! I liked the vivid descriptions of the weather, and in that scene the character had a definite goal.
Another minor nitpick - ""I cannot travel in this weather," Imi snorted and shied against the raging wind." Since I'm guessing that Imi's telepathically communicating, 'snorting' is not a speech tag, so it needs a full stop after 'weather'. Alternatively, if 'snorting' was a speech tag, I think a comma should go after it to show that 'shied' is a separate action. ""I cannot walk," she stroked" - is another case where that isn't a speech tag.
Minor typo - "Maerad ignored"
"She felt something snap." - but I noticed you didn't explicitly mention any broken bones? That's what I'd normally associate with something snapping after a person being thrown to the ground. I'm guessing she broke her arm because it's injured, but I think that could have been entirely spelled out to clear it up for the reader.
I thought that Adian, the aggressor, came across as one-dimensional as a character; a generic nefarious sexually-threatening baddie. That's not necessarily a criticism, but a description.
I'm guessing that the part with Maerad after the storm is also the part immediately after she was raped, as revealed in later chapters. I think you were trying to let the reader gradually discover the details of what happened to Maerad? But I think that some of the language in the storm scene is relatively mild (such as "scolding her for being so careless", like a mother over some spilt tea), and in most of it she seemed wholly focused on the storm. I liked the description of Maerad in the storm in general, but I think more of a vibe of focused-on-the-storm-to-avoid-focusing-on-the-recent-traumatic-experience might have jibed better with the later revelations.
Overall, an enjoyable and interesting fantasy adventure beginning. Good luck with your writing!
| Eleve Osirian chapter 13 . 2/6/2013
(For my own reference, a PM from Blue-Inked Frost sent as follow up, regarding edits made to this chapter)
These are the things that jumped out at me this time, which hopefully will be reasonably consistent with my first time!
I thought the first part was better - it conveyed Cadvan's mood more solidly and consistently. It felt more concrete and descriptive, which is good.
Minor grammatical error - "as the full weight of exhaustion settle over him"; should be 'settled'.
""I will never be whole again" - This is something that it's understandable for the character to feel, and something that makes me sad as a reader (which could be a good thing!). Women are not ruined forever because someone chose to commit a violent act against them, and not all people victimised by rape have difficulty forming later romantic relationships. But it's definitely understandable for a particular character to have those feelings, and they are cultural tropes.
"His heart twisted and he whispered, "It's time."" I wondered - how did he know this? Shouldn't Maerad know better than he what time the hearing is?
"Bards of the First circle" - another nitpick, shouldn't Circle also get a caps because it's part of the title?
"She realized with a heavy conscience, that Malgorn had arranged this in such a way" - This wording seemed odd to me; why is it on her conscience that Malgorn has arranged himself to speak?
I thought that overall the council scene felt more succinct and interesting for me to read this time around, so kudos for that. :)
"She knew the pain it caused, and wondered if that's why" - minor nitpick, should be 'that was why'.
I also thought that the council scene felt more dramatic, with the language more vivid and the arguments stronger, and the buildup to the crisis points more obvious. I definitely liked this version of that scene better!
Another part I enjoyed was this one - "In a single instant, a thousand moments were shared silently and Maerad remembered what she liked most about Cadvan - his smile, his kindness, his selflessness - all the things that she thought were impossible to receive from anyone, let alone a man. She knew then, that she would heal, and that as before, since the day they had met, he would help her and stand by her side, even if it meant harm to himself. She knew then that she didn't just like him. She loved him." I reckon that to a reader who's seen the buildup of these two characters' relationships, that part would seem very beautiful and fulfilling. I like how that part specified exact qualities Maerad liked in him.
I also, again, enjoyed the chapter ending and the ambiguity about Cadvan's penance - a good way to keep your readers looking forward to the next chapter!
Hope that this feedback also helps. :)