Reviews for When One Ends
kishinaract chapter 37 . 12/25/2018
This story grips me and im sad there isn't more yet but im willing to wait, hope to see more soon!
Guest chapter 18 . 11/22/2018
Loved the writing up until this chapter. Starting this off with a rape scene kinda kills the mood. There was no justification for this scene...If you were to add some humor maybe with solidad or the pokemon, it would've been much better. Rest of the chapter flows nicely!
tim29842003 chapter 37 . 11/1/2018
hope we see more soon
Annie James1790 chapter 37 . 8/24/2018
yes but I feel like the focus of Misty and Ash has been decreasing as the chapters go on
DracoArtemisLeopin chapter 1 . 4/20/2018
I hate to nitpick and honestly, until I looked it up I thought the same thing, but Eevee doesn't evolve into leafeon with a leaf stone, it evolves into leafeon when it levels up near a moss stone. I have no idea WHY they couldn't use the ready-made evolution method for this eeveelution, but I digress.
Guest chapter 37 . 2/18/2018
Make an ending like May and Drews wedding, and Ash and Misty get engaged, what's his face goes after ash and misty for misty cheating on him, ash watching his apprentice in the Indigo league, ashs and misty and all of their Pokemon live with them in ashs house next to or close to or even part of the gym, ash gets his released Pokemon back and maybe a finale like him battling professor Oak
MadaraMihawk chapter 16 . 11/13/2017
16 chapters in and the gym is still not open. This story had potential, but it is slow moving.

My problems with the story.

1. This story was suppose to be about ash opening a gym and settling down, yet it seems he has done the opposite.

2. The nigel thing is pretty stupid as well and seems forced. Misty is not the type of person to be in that situation, misty's sisters on the other hand it would make sense for them to be in that situation.

3. 5 years of training seems to have down little for ash's skill if he had trouble with the moss deep space tournament. Pikachu getting ko'd by an ariados makes pikachu who is capable of fighting legendaries seem pathetic. That battle seemed forced to make it look like ash is not over powered.

4. Ash who was already elite level before he left to train comes back after 5 years of training, which has not seemed to affect his skill level or pokemon strength at all seems quite pathetic. So if you are making ash weaker to make the fights 'interesting' because you do not want ash to win all the time or as easy is poor writing.

I hate to tell you this, but elite level, and champion level trainers would stomp most tournaments because they are the toughest trainers around. That is even with type disadvantage because if all it took to beat lance was an ice type pokemon lance would not have been the champion for long.

5. Now for the misty and ash thing if you are going to get them together and have not done so by 16 chapters you are dragging it out for forced drama between nigel, and ash which is pathetic story development. If nigel was a better developed character other than a rich kid with an attitude problem I could see misty not wanting to break it up as easily. But Nigel is a twit and everyone including misty see's that yet has still not broken up with nigel.

So you either turned misty from a strong minded individual into a trophy girl for the drama, or you suck at writing character development in the romance sense.

I could go on but I think you over all failed in the delivery of your story.

1. Claimed ash would settle down, and open gym. (In reality has been non stop leaving pallet town to travel around.)

2. Nigel and misty do not fit together in the same picture based on misty's personality. (Should have created a better boyfriend for Misty that would make it more believe-able on why misty has not dumped nigel yet.)
Ryan81976 chapter 1 . 9/1/2017
ghist
Lendo Grendo chapter 37 . 7/4/2017
Goddamn it dude. Do you like leaving us with a cliffhanger? With a major distance in updates too? Your killing me man.
WriteGameSaitama chapter 29 . 5/1/2017
Isnt misty being a hypocrite? She cries when nigel cheats on her but she cheated on him with ash
WriteGameSaitama chapter 22 . 4/27/2017
Misty is kinda a bad person in this story
Lendo Grendo chapter 1 . 3/14/2017
Wait-hold up! I just saw the date this story was made and all I have to say is: WHAT THE HELL? THIS STORY IS TEN YEARS OLD? WTF?! THAT'S MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE!
Lendo Grendo chapter 37 . 3/14/2017
I have no problems with tho story besides the fact that all the quoted words are not spaced apart. You should have a line between them so it's easier to read. Just do that and I'll give you a 10/10
Lendo Grendo chapter 36 . 3/14/2017
Thank God you returned! I was afraid you quit!
nick chapter 1 . 3/9/2017
Here are my questions. 1. I saw the summary for the fanfic. But could there be more to the plot? 2. What locations are being used in the fanfic? 3. Could you be specific on when it takes place? 4. Besides the characters that were said in the summary, who else is in the fanfic? 5. How old is everyone that's in the fanfic? 6. What Pokémon are owned by the main anime characters in the fanfic? 7. How did they get those Pokémon? 8. How long have they owned them for, prior to the fanfic? 9. What was going on, when the fanfic began? Be sure to clue us in, Sam.

nick
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