|Reviews for The Grey|
| Pabot chapter 1 . 6/29/2014
I don't know how you did it, but you desribed Bella's feelings in such an accurate way, that I was literally raging and going through all these feelings of being helpless and small and having the choice and control of your own life taken out of your hands alongside her. It was amazing. I loved it so, so much. Still, I feel as thought Edward could have apologized for being the way he was in a more elaborate and blunt way, but I guess going on about being a know-it-all with a head up in his ass isn't really the style of such a gentleman as he, haha! ;) But seriously, I don't remember the last time I read something that made me feel SO MUCH! I could relate on so many levels. Awesome. Simply awesome. I don't know what you're doing for a living (or planning to? Jesus, I don't even know your age) but giiiiirrrlll, YOU NEED TO WRITE! You've got one incredible talent! It's a gift! Don't make us live without experiencing it! ;)
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/30/2013
Ohmygod THANK YOU for finally writing the missing story where Bella acts like a human being and stands up for herself!
| Debby-1957 chapter 1 . 3/15/2012
This story seemed like an alternate part of Eclipse. I liked the differences. Bella and Edward seem to be less insecure about each other. This allows her to be very clear with Edward without the fear of losing him. This includes showing her anger when necessary. To quote “I permitted my frustration to cultivate a little more.” And, “I had reached full-scale aggravation.” I love your choice of words here, “I was past the description of livid. And I was so mad, that I couldn't even think of a the word that was 'more-than-livid.'”
Bella has a more realistic view of Jacob. “Jake has made his choice. And I made mine.” And she is really tired of Charlie trying to push her toward Jacob. I loved this sentence, “I had just been middle-named.” Also, “His face turned a new shade of red that I didn't have a name for. We can just call it really, really red.”
But Charlie definately chose the wrong word for Bella: irresponsible. And then both Charlie and Edward told her she should eat! It’s understandable how she blew her top. It was good that she didn’t sneak off. Instead she straight-up told Charlie she would be back, but she was leaving the house to cool down.
You described her thoughts well: “I had always been able to keep it inside. That was what I did. I wanted so much to protect others, Edward especially, that I just kept my mouth shut. But as we walked from my red Chevy truck, I felt 18 years of self-control slipping away.” And, “somewhere in my head, I heard the tiny snap of my last shred of control.”
I liked the words in her head: “I was the embodiment of responsibility. I dotted all my I's, crossed all my T's. I took care of Renee, of Charlie when I could. I made grocery lists in my sleep, for crying out loud! I did everything, for everyone, and now I was a disappointment?”
Poor Bella and her propensity to cry when she’s mad. Then her frustration that the tears make it harder to be taken seriously. “The tears were falling, and I was cursing them silently. I knew it was over. I knew he wouldn't take me seriously now.” And she has a hard time making her expression stern. “I tried my best to mimic his tenacity, but it never looked right on my face.”
I like how you showed that Edward loved Bella but didn’t understand that she was her own person. “I was getting aggravated. I didn't like the way he made up my mind for me. I didn't like that, at all.” And, “I allowed myself to sneak a peek up from the ground to see if I was winning. Stupid thought, this was Edward we were talking about. I never won.”
I loved how Edward and Bella joked with and teased each other. This was very unexpected: "I was wondering if eyes made noise." And after her sleep-talking, it was so funny when Edward suddenly said, “You need milk.” And Bella responded, "Did I think of anything else that I needed?" I asked, hoping maybe I had formed a grocery list in my sleep. That would be quite efficient of me.”
This part of the dream made me laugh and laugh, “But you did tell Alice to, in your words, 'put the eyeliner down, or else'."
Her descriptions of how she felt about Edward were so nice:
“It was a sub-conscious move, to try to pull myself closer, almost more like a need than a want. Just like my body needed oxygen, it needed Edward at the closest proximity.”
“It would only be a matter of minutes now. Maybe thirty or so. An inadvertent smile crept to my face. Edward would be here soon. It was surprising to me, even after all that had happened, how just the simple thought of his approaching presence could fill my heart so entirely.”
“Edward saw me at my worst, and still wanted me.”
And, “butterflies welled up in my stomach, as they often did, when I realized that his longing was for me.”
Bella final word on things, her speech, was excellent. She didn’t use personal attacks, she reafirmed her love and commitment, and was very clear. “I love you. I do. But you have to let me make my own choices. You aren't in charge of me, you aren't God, and it would be prudent of you to stop thinking that way. Starting right now."
I loved your unique idea about how Bella relates to her truck
I liked how Alice complimented and encouraged her, “you're the most courageous of us all.” And Esme, "Your father was right," she whispered, and I could almost hear her heart swell with the words, "she's good for you." I loved Edward’s reply, "She is," he sighed, his hands moved away from my face, and I fought to listen for only a few moments longer, "I just hope I can be as good for her."
This last part was like the tent scene, “I was in a state of conscious sleep. Not yet under, but too far gone to interact.” But in your story, it looks like some things were resolved sooner than in the book. So maybe the tent scene wouldn’t have to happen, and Bella wouldn’t keep Jacob hoping and hanging for so long. In the book, these lessons were learned, too, but it took longer because of their insecurities, etc.
This is a crazy long review, but I loved your writing. I’ve never read other fanfic, but I plan to read your ‘Angel’ story. And thanks for making this a ‘T’ story, without tons of bad language or embarrassing ‘M’ rated details. I hope you write more.
Have you read ‘Glitch’ by quothme? I think you would enjoy it. If you go to my list of favorites, you might find some good recommendations.
| No Baggage 86 chapter 1 . 10/31/2011
I stumbled upon this today - such a lovely piece of canon writing - only much improved.
Tonally you have Edward to a tee - but Bella is the revelation. Thank goodness you allowed her to express all that internalised rage that we felt at Edward’s controlling ways. But more than that you found a reason to explain it all. He is such a novice at experiencing a relationship and it was natural for him to assume that his mind reading, long years of experience and extensive education allowed him an air of superiority. But his awareness of Bella’s intuitiveness and ability to see the ‘grey’ were a great step forward in their relationship and allowing them to see each other on a more level playing field.
I know a number of men who see life in absolutes - everything in black and white. I like to live in the grey. Thank you for writing - lovely work.
| Justchillingandliving chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
god i love this story you did a wonderful job keep up the good work
| Sara chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Oh my god, I adore you right now! lol
Thanks for writing this story, it's absolutely genius! I've always been annoyed with Edwards controlling ways and reading about Bella finally standing up for herself was just fantastic ) I've been searching for the perfect Bella-finally-flips-out-on-Edward-story for some time now and I finally found it. Yay! ;D
Not only do I just generally think your story is awesome, it's also beautifully written. It's great to read something here on fanfiction without having to mentally rewrite most sentences for them to make sense
| 2lulu2 chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
wow, that was fiery! i liked it!
| JennCorinthos chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
OMG OMG I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS... AMAZING WRITING...
| Doork chapter 1 . 8/26/2010
I love this! It's a fantastic side of Bella, we all need too see!
| ever4 chapter 1 . 8/12/2010
So Stephenie-esque it scares me. Your vocabulary is astounding, and I can only hope that you contiue to write, whatever you do. Great story; very visual, and surprisingly professionally well written. Congratulations. You better be doing something more than just fan-fiction :)
| WithoutLove.LifeIsLike chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
SO GOOD. It has always bothered me that Bella never got angry in those situations. And I loved the she put Edward in his damn place! I'm so glad you wrote this.
| edward6234 chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
I have read this story before many times, I love the way it turns out and when i first read it I was feeling much like Bella and the story helped me feel better! I was new to the site and I hadn't gotten my own account yet so I didn't know how to review sooner but I wanted to tell you I liked it and Thank you for a great story!
| Kyrene once Blood Roses chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
I wanted a story where Bella and Edward have an argument, and I was recommended this. EXACTLY what I wanted. You gave me a canon Bella who could yell at Edward and I could root for. Thank you. Edward does have a bit of a "God complex" and I'm glad she stood up to him. Hell, I'm glad all the Cullens were impressed since they never do. Awesome story!
| The Adorable Pancreas chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
I loved this so much!
I always thought that Bella should argue and fight back a bit more. XD
And this was excellent - "“She was storming, Edward,” Alice scolded him, with her soprano voice echoing chords of mockery. “You should never stop a girl from storming.”"
And I also liked that Bella told Jasper to stop controlling her emotions - if I was in that situation, I would so have to do that. XD
This was really well written, and the ending was perfect too. Adding it to my favourites. :)
| prettypretty pretty chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
Wow, that was amazing. So beautiful.