|Reviews for A careless wish|
| The Reality DumPer chapter 26 . 5/11/2012
I can't believe I'd suddenly lose interest on something I've been excited about... I'm quite tired of all the action, where's Ukyo dammit! And why kill Kasumi when it's not gonna be such an important part of the plot, and it's Kasumi! I hate you for that...
And also, I think you're straying from the theme, you've actually gone too far off as you've put in a lot of fighting scenes (which I think were not so necessary and I quite got sick of it in a while)...and it's a Ranma fanfic! There's a lot of anime you put in there it got confusing allofasudden! I understand the entrance of the feudal era, but machines? I think you went too long cause you wrote too much details (and repeated them a lot of times).
That aside, this is another proof that firsts are way better than sequels...
But still, it's your work, I can't just believe that I wasted my time reading too much action (I actually skipped some) when you could have just cut to the chase (just like you used to).
By the way, you're funny.
Really, you could just take out the part in the middle of the middle and the end..haha
| Pryde Kitty chapter 26 . 9/14/2011
BLAST! My Hello Kitty power has been foiled!
Yeah this chapter it wasn't confusing as to when each character was talking fortunately enough. It was just that one chapter.
In terms of each one being six pages or more...well...I guess I'm just spoiled from many of your previous chapters.
For the ending...I think splitting it into two might be good, if it brings it out faster and/or brings up the length. Then again if you feel you can easily bust out a great single chapter ending then feel free.
Lastly...if you're ever on my side of the country we should hang out _ I promise not to kidnap you...unless you've been a bad writer of course P
| James Birdsong chapter 26 . 9/14/2011
Eh neato enough. Do not do epilogue
| Pryde Kitty chapter 25 . 8/9/2011
This is definitely a fun story. I really liked this one overall, but I do have two complains.
#1 This was too short
#2 The break between story settings wasn't clear enough defined...so sometimes I couldn't tell whether a scene with a certain character had ended or not. Then it was like "Wait...which characters am I supposed to be viewing now"?
Still overall in terms of the quality of this chapter not too big of issues. Still it was really good, and I really did enjoy it.
Now just make sure you don't sacrifice quality for speed...OR ELSE I SHALL COVER YOU WITH PINK HELLO KITTY GOODNESS! MWAHAHAHAHA
Also again if you're ever in my neck of the woods, we should totally hang out.
| swk3000 chapter 25 . 8/9/2011
Just a quick note: while I understand your statement on this being Takahashi's Kasumi, I've read some pretty good stories where the characters acted nothing like their Takahashi counterparts. I suppose that the proper way to say it is that I...suspend...any emotional attachments I've made until the author gives me reason to bring them back. It's a...technique, I suppose you could say, that has allowed me to enjoy stories that I would otherwise have passed over because the characters weren't true to the original work.
Anyway, this is just food for thought. Both chapters were pretty good, and fun. However, on a technical note, you need line breaks. There's no way to tell when scenes change, and if your word processor is adding them, they're not making the transition to the site.
| James Birdsong chapter 25 . 8/8/2011
Uh heh heh uh yeah good four chapters
| SOTG chapter 24 . 6/25/2011
Excellent! Superb! Fantissimo!
It took me a train journey, two bus rides, an evening and half a morning to read this - and it was brilliant. I got a bit lost at the beginning, but I began to recall eventually.
I k ow your suffering about being ill. I suffered Glandular Fever for a month before being diagnosed, and I still suffer from after-effects today (stupid blood cells...). I was in pain every time I moved, my sweat stank out my bedroom and I laid in bed for a week straight, suffering fever-induced nightmares. A trip to the hospital for a week, and I'm all better though. After staying in an air-conditioned room, isolated from the rest of the ward on te hottest week of the year. [
Anyway, enough sharing of illness stories. I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to the next one - though not the long wait that usually precedes it.
Keep up the excellent work. ] Much love, SOTG xx
| Pryde Kitty chapter 24 . 6/23/2011
Dear Awesome Quality Fanfic Writer Millenium, I have decided to show you mercy and spare you from being hunted down and having terrible things wrought upon your weak and frail human body. This is good, as it allows BOTH of us to continue what we both love greatly: Your writing! The fact that I had just so very much to read during a time that is REALLY CRAPPY is EVEN BETTER! *Sticks a gold star on your forehead* So have a gold star on me.
Now this was SERIOUSLY BADASS! I enjoy every little bit of this, and it's definitely some of your best, but I may be a bit biased considering the length and timing. Still it was awesome through and through, but damn your crazy cliffhanger driving my cat like curiosity crazy! Now I want to know who the HELL, or is that HEAVEN, saved Kanna from falling?
So keep up the super awesome work, don't get sick again. If you get sick eat lots of cooked tomatoes, and drink lots of Raja's Cup Tea which tastes a lot like coffee. If that Tea works on Walking Pnemonia it should work to heal you extra fast with anything you get, and you brew it just like tea. You can even reuse the grounds multiple times.
Anyways you better keep up your awesome chapters, or else I will be forced to make you super paranoid about your punishment for weeks, months even, before finally getting you in the middle of the night XD
| Pryde Kitty chapter 23 . 3/15/2011
At first I thought I was going to have to hunt you down for such a small chapter. I mean honestly now, less then 5k words? Still though you managed to surprise me with high quality and epic action! So you are forgiven somewhat. Although it seems like you took a little TOO long for how little you had to write P
Still it was good enough that you have tamed the beast that is my hunger. For now. Keep up the good work, and glad to see Kanna back in action and being badass! 3
| luger 7 chapter 23 . 3/10/2011
The last chapter didn't kick start me. Got a kick out of reading it. Party on, dude.
| swk3000 chapter 23 . 3/10/2011
I apologize for not responding sooner, but I wanted to reply to your reply to my review. For your convenience, here's what you wrote:
Yes, Kasumi is dead. And no, I just didn't show the people who would care about that sort of thing. I really don't think we want four pages of me describing a family's emotional state and suffering, now do we? Needless to say, they're all very broken up about it, but I just don't wanna write something like that, ok? As for killing Kasumi being an ass-pull, well... I planned this a year ago, and I still think it's more gut-wrenching to drop an emotional bomb on the reader, rather than ease into it.
Hey, you can't say it didn't work.
As for the disconnection, that's also true. None of the now-primary cast have much, if any proper connection to Nerima and the crew living there. Kanna is the only one, and she's still coming to terms with what it is to be a proper living person now.
Now, before I say anything else, you did an excellent job of answering the questions I asked, and I do agree whole-heartedly with most of your reasoning. The only thing I don't agree with is up for interpretation; I believe that as long as Ranma and his choice of fiancee are not involved, everyone tends to be friends. You believe that they stay apart other than when the issue comes up. The Manga (which is what I'm basing my information on) never established this one way or the other, so I'm willing to leave it alone.
However, your emotional bomb only works of the reader has an emotional connection to the character. I didn't have one with Kasumi. I don't bring pre-existing assumptions in with me when I read a fic, as it bogs down the story and confuses things. Based entirely off of this story and the last one, Kasumi was about as important as the kitchen sink. So to me, your emotional bomb was focused entirely around killing off the kitchen sink.
The issue is that you never gave any reason to establish an emotional connection to Kasumi in either fic. Kasumi contributed very little, if anything, to the story, so when she died, it was completely unexpected. Because I never established an emotional connection to her, it's hard to give that same connection to the other characters. Logically, I know what you're saying is true, and that they do care that she's dead. Unfortunately, you never got me to care about her, and that, followed by the sudden switch in gears to focus on other characters, gives the illusion that no-body cares about the fact that Kasumi died. It was so far out of left field that I never saw it coming.
I think I understand why you did kill her off; it gave you a chance to develop Kanna's character more. However, the lack of any emotional connection, combined with your timing in both ending the chapter, and in switching gears, makes the whole thing rather surreal, to the point that I really can't believe it as being true.
I won't bother you about this again, as it's your story. After reading your reply, I simply realized that I'd failed to properly express what my problem with it was, so I wanted to clarify that. I'm not asking you to re-write it or even do anything with it. I'm simply offering my feedback on why her death bothered me. Not because it happened, or because of how it happened, but because it happened to someone who was more scenery than person in this story.
| Deuce chapter 23 . 3/8/2011
| luger 7 chapter 22 . 2/10/2011
Guns and Roses dude! What a fanfic.
| Pryde Kitty chapter 22 . 2/9/2011
I was rather fond of this chapter because of the crazy epic battle, and the epic cool, but gruesome way you killed the main baddie. Furthermore I'd like to say that you had BETTER HEAL THE MIRROR GIRL! Still this chapter was seriously badass, and it's great to see what crazy stuff you can do with Mato. I'm VERY curious to find out just what it is, that makes Mato so uniquely badass and epic.
Also I want to end with: If the Mirror Girl dies...well...I think I'll let your imagination fill in the horrible blanks of what I would do to you! P
| Pryde Kitty chapter 21 . 1/30/2011
I have to say you did a GREAT job with this chapter! Certain full of excitement and crazy battle scenes. It will be interesting to see what happens with the war on Heaven, as well as Ryoga's part in it.
You know what's fun? Going up to Ryoga Cosplayers, and saying "Ryoga Hibiki because of you I've seen Hell! Prepare to die!" XD
Lastly I hope this super awesome next chapter gets here sooner rather then later. After all you want us rabid fans of yours to be happy don't you? _~ Keep up the good work _