Reviews for Hunted
KoopalingFan chapter 17 . 9/4/2012
This was a great story. And I heard that you were rewriting your first one. Great!


Wolf: *Chasing Alex with a broom in his hand, gets hit by a rock* OW! *Glares at KF*

KF: Don't hit your brother!

Fox: ...Have I seen this before?


Falco: *Chasing Slippy with a broom in his hands*

Slippy: AH!

Krystal: *Runs after them*

Pepper and Fox: *Facepalms*

End Flashback

Fox: *Shruggs shoulders* Guess I won't remember.

Wolf: Stupid readers...

KF: You're breaking the fourth wall!

Fox: How long have you been on fanfiction anyway?

KF: Since November.

Alex: ...So THAT explains it... And WOLF LEAVE ME ALONE!

Wolf: *Trips over Fox's foot, glares*

Fox: *Drags him*


Can I use your OC Alex, please?
Beninja2618 chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
I loved this story. It was so intense and dramatic and pulled me to the edge of my seat the entire time. I just couldn't stop myself from taking a break from the story. I just kept reading. But there were quite a few problems. Once in a while I would notice typos and misuse and unessesary use of words. Now I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out the flaws I saw. I say just read over your story and try to spot the mistakes and fix them. One thing I had a problem with was you mentioned everyone who was kidnapped and the hunters what animal they were only once so I quickly forgot or mixed up who was what animal. Also I don't think you mentioned what animal Alex was. Just fix those things and anything else you see and I think you can make the story a little less confusing. But I did love how you kept Fox and Krystal from kissing each other with someone stopping them. I got a little frustrated with that. No joke, I was literally saying 'C'mon people can't you see they're trying to have a moment.' Can't wait to see what other stories you have and will make. See you soon... maybe.

Troygroomes chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
like the series please do the next story in line. are going to have Fox McCloud ask Krystal to marry him?
Elkpelt chapter 17 . 9/30/2009
I really enjoyed this story. Good job and keep up the awesome work.
Chimerical Knave chapter 17 . 3/17/2009
A nice happy ending...what a could've been perfect if it wasn't for these two eye sore of mistakes... ARGH! what would you do without me:

Mistake number one:

"Fox’s head also got closer to hers. Their muzzles were almost together. “I’m I interrupting something?” they heard a voice say."

You mean to say "AM I interrupting-

It's spelled AM, not I'm.

Second mistake and I can't believe that you could even make a mistake here:

"Fox and Krystal both laid on the grass on Sauria. Fox decided to continue they interrupted date their so they couldn’t be interrupted."

Really? Seriously? Are you for real?

You should replace "they" with the word "their" and then replace the word "their" with the word "there".

God...out of all the mistakes you had to make those...Lol.

Nice ending and I guess I have to give you my final rating for this finished piece of work.

Using Elementer's rating system I rate this story a:


Using my rating system I rate you a:

Inferior Second Class Writer

Because of the constant spelling errors and grammatical errors plus the misuse of other words and very canon description in your fighting scenes.

Although "Inferior" may sound harsh and bad it is not bad at all.

You should look at the second word instead of the first: Second Class writer with an Inferior in front of it.

You are still a worthy writer because you are in the Second Class range much like me.

So don't frown at this or let it get to your head...not that you would even care for my reviews anyways now that you have a life. Lol?

Well adieu to you my good friend. I'm glad that BOTH of us got to see through the ending of this story.

Best Wishes,

Chimerical Knave chapter 16 . 3/17/2009
A better chapter but I hated the fact that you used the ever-boring words:

Got into a fighting stance.

Never ever use those words again unless you are going to describe them.

Best Wishes,

Chimerical Knave chapter 15 . 3/17/2009
Fairly well chapter...the fight scenes were repetitive and somewhat bland in my eyes...but thats just me.

Some more errors in here.

I'll send you via P.M.

Best Wishes,

Chimerical Knave chapter 14 . 3/17/2009
Nice chapter yet again...but I spotted a couple of mistakes... I really have to P.M. the mistakes to you?


Best Wishes,

Shadow Shinobi57 chapter 17 . 3/15/2009
Great finish, dude! Loved the end with Fox and Krystal. Very romantic.

And the spoiler...So, sounds like your next one isn't as much of a regular survival, but more into sci-fi horror crap. Like Resident Evil or something. Only with mutant like creatures.

Can't wait, dude!

You have been very prodigious! Don't stop now!

"I'm not just sure, I'm ADD positive- OOH SHINY!" -Shadow
Chimerical Knave chapter 13 . 3/14/2009


Your punishment: I shall review this chapter.

This chapter was intense. The whole Louis getting shot and then the other team getting pinned down because of the sniper. And they can't get the med-kit without being a target.

This chapter was amazingly great.


Good job so far...and I'm still mad at you for never telling me that you got these chapters up.

Why didn't you?



Although I can see that it WAS partially my responsibility to check up on this story every now and then...

Best Wishes,

Moon clone chapter 16 . 3/10/2009
Nope I didn't like it, I loved it! The only negative comments are: spelling (but it's super rare now!), and you seem to use too much "then".

Nice battle scenes! You did well stretching the last chapters, 'cause I don't know for the others, but I'm just itching to read the next chapter! Where are you next chapter?

Lol don't feel any pressure, and post when you feel like it. (translation: you've got three seconds!)
starfoxluver chapter 16 . 3/10/2009
Awesome! cant wait 4 the last chapter!
Shadow Shinobi57 chapter 15 . 2/28/2009
No one's in a good spot now. And it looks like Marcus is really not doing good. Judging by the nearing of the end of this, it could go either way...I just hope in ends in favor for Marcus. Down with Tanner.

Don't stop being prodigious!

"I'm not just sure, I'm ADD positive- OOH SHINY!" -Shadow
Moon clone chapter 15 . 2/25/2009
Argh way too short but good anyway! The fights aren't too badly described, but can be better (but then again, what can't be?). Can't wait for next chapter, and good luck with your life hope it gets better!
Shadow Shinobi57 chapter 14 . 2/19/2009
The final confrontation with Tanner. How epic. Too bad the fic has to end so soon. Keep it up, I'll be with it 'til the end!

Say, what're your plans for after this?

Don't stop being prodigious!

"I'm not just sure, I'm ADD positive- OOH SHINY!" -Shadow
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