|Reviews for Human Anatomy|
| Broadway Evanescence chapter 3 . 12/1/2013
What Erik said at the end was really deep lol
| Broadway Evanescence chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
I'm laughing really hard right now! I honestly had no idea what they were doing and that just made my day! Hilarious!
| Southern Facade chapter 14 . 12/29/2011
Le gasp...! There's no more? D: Why isn't there more...? *whines* I refused to go to bed with my boyfriend; because I wanted to read this SO BADLY, and now, since I've reached the last chapter- I can only cry in dispair! Stalking you now seems to be my only option, if I want to be entertained.
| Haru Kinome chapter 14 . 10/22/2011
Brain - Squee, this one is so cute o Besides the fact that they got to kiss at the end (awkward as it was, but it should be awkward, ne?), I really love how Erik keeps picking on Raoul and subtly encouraging him to do something about his feelings. The sarcasm in his lines is wonderfully amusing. Oh, but my absolute favorite thing about this ficlet is the movement that goes along with the dialogue. Neither of them stay still while they're talking; instead, they fidget and make gestures to accompany their words. I dunno, it's what people do in real life, so it always makes me happy when writers pay attention to it :3 So thank you very much for writing this _ It's so cute, I can't stop smiling.
"He shouted, angry at himself..." The 'he' should be lowercase. You know better than that, ne?
"Annunciating each word..." 'To annunciate' means 'to announce', which could work, but I think you meant 'enunciating'?
""So," Raoul stared..." If the verb following a line of dialogue does not indicates speech, then the punctuation before the closing quotation mark should be one that ends a sentence. Commas do not (I recommend an ellipsis).
Temple - Awww, this one is so sweet. Raoul's so doting and attentive, and I like how single-mindedly focused he is on making Erik feel better. The considerate and gentle way he takes care of him (immediately closing all of the curtains, letting him lay in his lap, petting him) is unexpectedly intimate, and it's nice to think that Erik trusts him enough to touch him like that. I like the attention to how much pain Erik's headache is causing him and how he starts sulking when Raoul leaves the room. That's so petty, but it does well to emphasize how miserable he's feeling. Thank you very much for writing this snippet. It's wonderful to see them so affectionate towards each other even when they're not really doing anything.
"...the pain had plateaud..." '-ed' makes regular verbs past tense. In other words, this is misspelled: 'plateaued'.
"...how excited and pleased had Raoul looked." Maybe switch 'had' and 'Raoul' in this sentence? At least for the sake of parallel structure.
(Sorry about your sun migraines :( That must be hard to deal with.)
| Emilx311 chapter 14 . 10/22/2011
Loved them both so much! I was giggling all the way through brain, it was hilarious! And honestly at start on temple I thought for a couple seconds that Erik had a hangover :P But his thoughts about Raoul were so cute there...awesome work as always.
| Eminnis chapter 14 . 10/22/2011
Awww...I liked the second one. Good job and update soon!
| Haru Kinome chapter 13 . 10/12/2011
(I'm so, so, so sorry that this review is late D: It was unfair of me to make you wait three months when it only took me a little over an hour to read and review. Gomen nasai; I'll try hard to make sure that doesn't happen again.)
Feet - Aw, this one is so cute; I love fics/drabbles where they're just hanging out. There's no dramatic pressure urging them to do something significant, and every little action and word doesn't necessarily have to mean something. Even when they're snipping at each other, it's relatively good-natured instead of intending to hurt, and I like that kind of relaxed atmosphere. This little snippet is lighthearted and sweet, and it's a nice break from all of the more serious stuff. (And I like that Raoul flat out refuses to let Erik lead at the end. Yay for him.) Thank you very much for writing it. It made me smile _
(Btw, I'm proud to say that I caught onto what they were actually doing rather quickly, although I commend you on your efforts to make it sound as dirty as possible. I don't think it's choppy, though; writing scenes that are intended to be misconstrued usually don't come out very fluent in general, and this made sense in and out of context. What more can you do, ne? Please have a little more confidence, ne?)
"...if it meant that he Raoul..." Typo?
Shin - Awright, this one is pretty damn cute, too o failInRelationships!Erik is quirkily endearing, but stubborn!Erik is even better (as long as it's not angst-inducing stubbornness). And I like how Raoul's obviously concerned, but still... I believe the phrase is 'sticking to his guns'? "As much as he felt badly, he really wanted to gloat." That line's my favorite :D Given the situation, it should be a mildly inappropriate desire, but I suppose that's what makes the entire situation so entertaining. Anyway, thank you very much for writing this drabble (even though you don't like it much). I like it, and it made me laugh, and therefore, it's good _
As for the choppiness, I think it's choppy because the background situation between Erik and Raoul isn't very clear through most of it. You've used this writing technique before, but I think because this segment was meant to be short and quick, you didn't have the time you normally spend dropping hints and building up to the revelation. (But eh, wth do I know, anyway?) Also, with the line "Erik noted that to himself silently." at the end, you suddenly and unnecessarily shifted POVs.
(I feel like I should be offended that dependence in a relationship is inferred to be a feminine trait, but, mostly, I'm just inappropriately amused X3 Also, where did Christine go?)
| minlin chapter 11 . 10/11/2011
You're right the second part was sad, heartbreaking even. Poor Erik.
The first part though? I can just picture Raoul's expression when Erik told him he'd already spoken to Phillipe! Too funny!
| Emilx311 chapter 13 . 8/22/2011
Wow loved it although I was quite (pleasantly) surprised to see this updated :)
| whatevergirl chapter 13 . 8/17/2011
Wow... Hero!Raoul. I like it. Haha, poor Raoul in teaching Erik to dance though. It seems like there is quite a task there! :)
| The Crazed Artist chapter 13 . 8/16/2011
Oh man you had me going there. I knew it was a euphemism but I could not quite pin it especially with the "knee locking" I sat there going: "...Wait...What?"
I was giggling at the image of Erik dancing with the mannequin too, or lord that would be hilarious.
I can imagine Erik being the kind of person who is clingy and demanding when it is convenient for him, but as soon as Raoul gets needy and wants some attention Erik is " " and pushes him away.
Silly crazy moody phantom man.
Anyways, hilarious and sweet work! Keep it up! :D
-The Crazed Artist
| Eminnis chapter 13 . 8/16/2011
Good chapters! Liked the contrast between feet and shin. Keep up the good work!
| kakdan chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
I love this so much though I don't understand the whole words meaning exactly what-I'm not English speaker-but surely these lovely piece works suit for my taste! The "back", it was very awesome, especially the line-"You can turn your back on me. Just never leave me."-was to be very plane(in fact), but it turns out to be kinda surprise attack! The most direct one that could be accepted without any repulsion, Phew!
| ninofkonoha chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
haha my mind totally went south...god im horrible
| Haru Kinome chapter 12 . 1/15/2011
Nose - Foo, even if you think this one is just 'whatever', I still like it. The imagery is simply gorgeous; I love how all of the mentioned sounds and scents are not only examples of the acuity of Erik's senses, but also how they fit the personalities of the characters mentioned (and a wide variety of characters are commented on, so yay :D). Much of that is owing to your really fantastic diction choices; all of the descriptions use really wonderful action verbs that will only fit with that unique situation, so you were able to avoid repeating words _
Interesting change in writing style, though. I think it's written perhaps a bit formally, kinda like an essay, with topic sentences followed by specific examples that all lead to one conclusion. It's not necessarily bad, just different than usual, and it works here well. The transition between the sounds and the scents flowed smoothly instead of abruptly switching gears :)
Also, I'm quite enchanted by the line "...to breathe Raoul's scent in was to breathe in the life that was moving around him." It's pretty :3 Oh, and, um, (I probably should've said this first orz) I like how Raoul is constantly lurking in Erik's thoughts. For some reason I think it's cute that Erik's so reluctant and frustrated over falling in love with Raoul. He can kick and scream all he wants, but it's gonna happen XD
So thank you very much for writing this little ficlet _ I shamefully admit that I have a bit of scent kink (ugh, that sounds /so/ bloody weird orz), so this one was gratifying to read.
(Btw, "Having just fled from rooftop..." Anou, maybe put a 'the' in there before 'rooftop'? It makes sense the way it is, it just sounds kinda weird to me.)
Wrist - Wow, this one is a lot different from Walk the Walk, in terms of characterization, tone and style. It's a lot more playful since it's in Raoul-kun's pov, and he's so forward and determined to make Erik his that it's almost a little scary. But I like how those little touches he gives Erik at the end are intimate without being overtly sexual. Ooh, and I love the line "...Raoul could distinctly feel his own elevated pulse, feel the blood struggle to get by." Bloody :D Squee XD Mmn, but dimwitted!Raoul-kun is kinda weird. Not quite OOC since you made it abundantly clear that he's just playing (and therefore this characterization ends up being pretty amusing), but still weird. And Erik got a little pissy, like an angry cat :3 They make an interesting pair.
Thank you very much for writing this _
(Etou... I think you repeat the phrase 'the ghost' too much in this one, so the prose sounds a bit clunky to me. There are lotsa places where you could've substituted the pronoun 'he' and it still would've made sense.)