Reviews for The Secret Kingdom
TheDishThatRanAwayWithTheSpoon chapter 11 . 11/4/2014
Aw.. It's too bad you decided to stop but it is you who is writing, after all. The story was really good too. Personally, i don't find anything bad about your writing style. I will read more of your works for sure. Keep up the good work and ideas!
Huh.Figures chapter 6 . 10/6/2013
dude how old are they
Huh.Figures chapter 3 . 10/6/2013
SASUSAKU FOR THE WORLD!
kaiselleluvit13 chapter 6 . 8/30/2010
I love this chapter!..:DDD...so awesome especially when Sasuke was the prince of the Osume..ahhhhhhhh!...luv it!..3333
ShanaLCrowley chapter 11 . 8/12/2010
aaww no way!

this fic was going superb!

It caugh my eye from the begining

.

well...its really too bad you lost the interest...Im really sorry to read that...

I hope you reconsider your desicion...
Maxium chapter 11 . 7/14/2010
Nice story! A pity you dropped it.
chandelure chapter 11 . 5/7/2010
No! Oh, alright. I really liked it so far, though. Sorry you couldn't complete it... Whatever! I still liked it and I can imagine the rest of it for myself. Great job. I STILL wish there could be more though. But yeah.
-Daydreamer
P.S. Just in case, I'm putting it on story alert. _
Miss anonymous chapter 1 . 1/24/2010
OMG! its really good for your 1st fanfic! and i cant wait to read the next chapter!
anonymous chapter 11 . 1/3/2010
YOU SUCK!
wolf-chan chapter 11 . 12/18/2009
oh, come on! you can't end the story like this! up untill now this is one of my favourite stories! you have to finish it properly! do it for us! your readers who want to hear...um..read the end of this story! come on! one million please! continue this story! pretty please!
Pepper-Pepper-chan . XD chapter 11 . 11/27/2009
Please continue this story . i really love it ! PLEASE !
Fonrin chapter 11 . 11/26/2009
I'm really disappointed, and i do hope that sometime soon, you'll decide to continue with your amazing story.

:)
pilpols chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
I love this story plz make more!
pilpols chapter 10 . 2/8/2009
excellent story! pls make more!
The Disappearing Me chapter 10 . 2/7/2009
I have some recommendations to make for this fic. I would highly suggest that you go back and check for tense shifts. You keep switching between present and past tense in your fic and it's hard for the reader to follow and throws off the flow of the fic. You also have a lot of passive voice you may want to clear up. If you go to spell check in word, click on options and then select "Grammar and Style" under writing style it will catch passive voice for you, although I don't think it does tense shifts, which are your main difficulty. You have a nice plot going on, but if you polished the fic, through peer editing or a beta, it would be a lot better and I think you would get a lot more reviews. Just some recommendations, obviously you can take them or leave them. I tend to give a lot of constructive criticism, but I want to make sure you know that it's meant to help your fic and your writing style grow and improve. It's not meant to be taken personally. Anyways, keep writing - if you do that, you can only continue to improve!
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