|Reviews for Looking In|
| Z.N. Singer chapter 1 . 12/6/2008
Very nice, especially for something so short - but it definitely fills a gap, I know why you wrote it. Frankly, I really wish they had never shown that scene, it was just so randomly disturbing. It's mostly well written but(warning: Claws of Criticism engaged)
Why was he here? With Sophia? Now?
*Did he... love Lavie?*
Not so good. Too direct. Not that you can't say the word love straight out, but it's a place where italics are rarely a good touch. In fact, just changing the italics might well be enough. Your call, you're the author. But now you've been told. Check the last paragraph of any story I've posted for information on a new fanfiction site to be that will work by submission and maintain print quality standards. Hope to hear from you on it. Best of luck with future writings.