Reviews for Mabinogi: The Goddess Knights
AKAAkira chapter 53 . 7/4/2011
Very nice story.

Like I said before, I commend your dedication to this 50 chapter story even in spite of a relatively low number of reviews. I hope you feel very proud of your tenacity.

I didn't think the plot wasn't original, but it was still nicely thought out and executed rather well. The last chapter was a nice touch, giving details into each of the heroes' future gave me a sense of closure.

Most important detail for you to work on is just the organization of a lot of paragraphs - remember, new person speaking, new paragraph. Other than that, and some spellings that I think I already pointed all out, you seem to be fine.

Excellent job writing. Have fun working your current stories!
AKAAkira chapter 38 . 6/27/2011
Haha...not like you need to know this anymore (probably), but there are some notable corrections I just can't resist making.

Elleham is NOT Elleham, nor is it Elleha, it's actually Elatha.

And "double gangers" are supposed to be dopplegangers.

Plot's going along nicely, the twists in here aren't bad. And you describe some things pretty well, like the sword in this chapter. I think most of the problem of this fiction is just the way you organize the proceedings, mostly sentences that are all in a paragraph which really should be fragmentized.

Next time I review would probably be the last chapter...so, 'til then.
AKAAkira chapter 19 . 6/7/2011
I suppose it's time for me to review again, just to say I HAVE been reading this and haven't forgotten about it. (Not for a super-extended period of time, anyways...)

Actually, I was about to say something about spelling/grammar and then I realized, no, this chapter's pretty good on that part. So good job on that.

Still some punctuation/flow issues, I think, as when someone new speaks you probably should hit the Enter button.

One last thing for now - I'm pretty sure Cichol is a lot more formal than the impression you're giving me. For example..."Alright, no funny business". I was like... o.O Is that something I can imagine Cichol saying? Sorry, not really. Suggestion: "One false move and I will personally make sure to expose your innards to Noitar Arat". Something like that, anyways.

Good job so far, I'll get back to you later.
AKAAkira chapter 4 . 4/5/2011
Meh...I suppose the review's slightly premature, but I did want to congratulate you on being one of the only two complete multi-chapter Mabinogi fic on this site. And the other one's only seven chapters. I commend your effort.

Like I said this review was premature, so you might have improved later, but so far I have seen several paragraphs that might have been better to separate into smaller components, as well as enough spelling mistakes to mildly disturb my read through - the most noticable two being "Errin" which should be "Erinn" and "Formor" which should be "Fomor".

Plot-wise it's okay so far, I'm looking forward to seeing the other eight heroes.

It'll be a while before I finish reading this story...but finish this I will, so 'till then.
abby2read chapter 53 . 10/25/2009
that was fun... congrats on how long it is...
abby2read chapter 21 . 10/25/2009
man, I just looked at the lenght of other mabi fanfics, and man, it sucks. Congrats on page numbers!
abby2read chapter 18 . 10/25/2009
hooray for evil laughter... XD
AyaC chapter 53 . 8/24/2009
I really like the ending with Jack. Been reading for like an hour and half straigth and my eyes are all dried o.
Mikez chapter 53 . 7/2/2009
This was a great story you have a great ability at writing these I can't wait to see what ya write next!
The Fable chapter 53 . 5/27/2009
This is one of the most enjoyable stories I've read. Comedy, action, romance... it's like a very, VERY good book. A few typos here and there but nothing serious. My only wish is that there was a sequel.
millet crunch jr chapter 53 . 3/16/2009
Dude, you would seriously profit by getting yourself a good beta reader that has no mercy.
Skyzerk chapter 4 . 2/10/2009
YATTA this is awesome(big grin)
AyaC chapter 20 . 1/4/2009
O.O;... I was as bit sqweamish about the fleshy blood and stuff... Nice drama though. The story is going really nicely! I hope you dont stop!
AyaC chapter 19 . 12/31/2008
wooh climaxing! its awesome how you update so fast. It's a real shame nto many ppl read mabinogi ff.. S
AyaC chapter 15 . 12/26/2008
WoOh! YEA Nice chapters real quick o.o. Best Chapter Ever!(Lol get it? The chapter title and teh review, it's a play on words and and... Oh forget it -_-;)
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