|Reviews for The Final Stand|
| guest chapter 13 . 6/11/2013
| The What-If Writer chapter 13 . 11/9/2012
This is too amazing to stop now. You're story is well written and very in-character, I love the interactions between the hero and villains, especially Ron and Monkey Fist and Gemini and his sister.
I also love the plot and the ideas you have. I really do wish you'd continue with this.
By the way, brilliant job.
| Slyrr chapter 13 . 12/15/2009
I'm not sure if my last review went through - it said it did, but now it's letting me review again? Ah, FFnet - what'll you do next? But just in case, I'll post again since it's been 24 hours and I still don't see it on the review board.
The truth or dare game between the Lorwardians was of interest, since it gives the idea that not ALL of them are alien death machines bent on destruction and conquest. That's something I've considered for one of my own tales (details forthcoming). It does raise a good question - how does the bulk of the Lorwardia population feel about all this? The game might have been considered silly, but given that they had Warmonga enthralled by Dr. Drakken's rapping, it makes other Lorwardians' curiosity about earthly culture firmly plausible.
Kim and S's conversation about Bonnie and Junior went well, and I think Kim was honest, but fair - probably more fair than Bonnie deserved. It's too bad Ricardo passed away, because I could easily hear him speaking these lines (though he's probably use fewer contractions). Also it was an interesting take that Brick was the one who let Bonnie go because SHE was no longer useful to HIM as a High School status symbol now that he was in college. In the series, it simply seemed that he'd wised up and concluded that Bonnie was a jerk and he could do better.
The bickering between Ron and MF over the nature of MMP and it's nuances went about as I might have expected. It filled in all the needed details, as well as reinforcing Monkey Fist's doubts about whether or not he'll be able to actually keep the power, moving him closer to the decision he'll presumably have to make. And Ron of course, was clueless but affable about the whole business.
The B-list villains and their banter about dating and so forth were also a fun read. I doubt that Monkey Fist would ever be 'sorry' if Amy ever stopped chasing after him. Except in terms of pride, like Smaug when he 'missed the cup' that Bilbo took in The Hobbit. It was not a matter of him wanting or needing the cup, it was simply that someone else took it from him that ticked him off; and Monkey Fist might be the same. He wouldn't care if Amy went for someone else, except that he might be slighted by thinking that whoever she did choose was an 'inferior' compared to him.
And the scene with Hana was as always, adorable. It's not clear how far out the invading fleet is at the moment, but I'd hazard a guess that the action will be starting again soon. Maybe not before Monkey Fist makes his choice between two powers, but pretty close to it. We'll see if I guess right ;)
Excellent stuff, and Merry Christmas!
PS: Happy Birthday Vampire!
| VampireNaomi chapter 13 . 12/13/2009
The next time you say that some scene you've written is useless and sucks, I'm going to punch you. You made me think that the truth or dare scene with the Lowardians was going to be some stupid comic relief, but you actually used it to illustrate the doubts some of them are feeling about their mission. I loved the bit about how the players first refused the new rule and then changed their minds when their courage was questioned. The scene was funny, just like pretty much everything you write with that purpose, but it was far more than that. It even gave us the names of some Lowardian OCs. The scene was far from pointless.
That scene in which Kim tells Senior what she thinks of Bonnie was surprisingly insightful. I have been waiting for the resolution to this issue ever since you introduced it some chapters ago, and you certainly didn't disappoint. I'm glad that you made Kim give such a balanced opinion of Bonnie. Everything she said about her, especially her bad traits, rang true to me. And yet I think Kim was right when she said that Bonnie wasn't after Junior's money. Even though you didn't dwell on it, the reason Kim gave for this made Bonnie come off as a much deeper character than in many fics in which she appears - and she wasn't even present in this scene. That's quite an achievement.
The conversation between Monty and Ron was definitely my favourite part of the chapter. I liked it how their conversation came to a halt or went off track so many times due to their different personalities and priorities. One of them was always interrupting the other or expressing his distaste for what the other was saying. It was amazing they accomplished anything at all with all the hatred and problems between them. Perhaps my favourite part of the conversation was how Monty kept insisting that Hana was just a secret ninja weapon while Ron said she was his sister. Monty has completely forgotten that the weapon must be loved. Then again, I guess the true idea behind that never got to him in the first place since he's such a selfish and power-hungry person that he probably doesn't love anyone but himself and maybe - maybe - his monkey ninjas. I liked it how he became curious about Ron's motivations and whether they could have something to do with his success after it became clear that Ron's mastery over MMP is far more advanced than his. I doubt Monty is going to learn anything if it's not hammered into his skull with force, but it's a good thing he's even questioning the issue, even if he is quick to ignore it again. Then again, if his main motivation to help others is because he thinks being selfless is the key to mastering some power, I'd day he's still entirely missing the point. XD
I loved it how Killigan finally confronted Amy about her misplaced feelings for Monty and pointed out straight to her face how he was treating her. The best bit was definitely how he said that Monty didn't deserve her and how this made Amy ponder the situation. I can't wait to get some more of her thoughts on the issue and see the moment when she finally realises that she has had the perfect men before her for quite some time but has been too blind to notice it.
Motor Ed's matchmaking was again a hilarious moment. One of my favourite lines in the whole chapter was his words about how he's going to have to break Shego's heart because he doesn't want to pursue the woman his cousin loves. I just... XD He's so clueless that it's almost adorable. You're turning me into such a fan of this character. All of his orchestrating of other people's love lives is making him come off as the least dangerous villain here. He's actually a pretty nice guy. Now I'm even more dismayed by that Adrena Lynn isn't part of the group, but I guess she doesn't have anything significant to contribute to the group's efforts. I wish she could have a cameo in the end or something.
I adored the fluffy scene between Kim, Ron and Hana. Even though you said that writing it was difficult and boring, I think it was definitely worth it. It's great to give the good guys some attention like this, too, since the villains have pretty much been running the show since the second chapter. I don't think Team Possible is anywhere near as interesting as them, but I like it that they can have moments like this so that we don't forget their presence. I bet they're both going to be more important when the actual fighting starts because that's where they, especially Kim, can shine. Some of the villains will have to take the back seat then since they aren't exactly fighters.
The final scene with the Lowardians was a great place to end this chapter. It created an atmosphere of suspense and dread and reminded the readers that regardless of all the humour and chaos that is going on, this is still a story about an alien war. You've now made me curious about what is going to happen to the Lowardians in the end and how the conflict among their troops is going to affect the outcome of the battle. As usual, I can hardly wait for more!
| Katsumara chapter 13 . 12/12/2009
First off.. wow. I love what you're doing with the Lowardians, for the most part. You're not depicting them as a cruel alien race that's looking to wipe out the very existence of mankind, but as a couple of aliens who aren't sure if they are doing the right thing. That's very cool.
I loved the convo between Monkey Fist and Ron here. Sure Monkey Fist may have other reasons for helping, but seeing them work together will be interesting.
Loved the fluffy moment between Kim and Ron. Maybe Kim's noticing how great Ron would be later on as a.. father? As his girlfriend, you can't help but wonder if she thinks about that sort of stuff.
Either way, keep up the fine work, PengyChan :)
| screaming phoenix chapter 13 . 12/12/2009
So many reasons for why these people are doing what they are doing.
Monty, as usual, is wonderfully nasty, sarcastic, and the very picture of the upper class elitist snob. But I love how you have him so concerned over his apparent failure to manifest the MMP while Ron has done it several times. His reluctance to give up the MMP to get the full power of the Yono points out just how immature he is wants his cake and not only to east it but to throw the fact in everybody's face as well.
Poor Ron has to suffer the abuse of tweaked Monty to do something he has already done. Ron's defense of his sister to Monty should point out to him what Monty has never been able to tap into the MMP. Monty sees her a a weapon. Ron loves her as a sister. It would be a good thing if Ron would just believe in himself.
The love the fact the Motor Ed is playing matchmaker between Duff and Amy(even if it is so wrongsick)
The sweet moments with Ron,Kim and Hana have been very scarce recently. It makes them all the more special when they happen
So we have a difference of opinion on why the Lowardans are coming back? And at such high levels too. That could be bad for them, but good for the defenders.
| Yolen Yui chapter 12 . 11/2/2009
Well he doesn't have MORE to gain by losing the Monkey Might?
| Wolfyfox chapter 12 . 10/15/2009
i love this story! this is how the series finaly should have been. Everyones gonna get an ending; whether its good or bad.
| Jen Rock chapter 12 . 10/14/2009
This is great. I love that they actually have a plan to fight the Lowardians and that the various villains get to play a major part but I think that Monty will be the biggest obstacle to overcome. He won't be willing to give any power to Ron unless his life is directly in danger and he has no choice. I don't think there's any way Ron can persaude him simply with words.
I like that Amy is having second thoughts about Monkey Fist and that she's beginning to notice Duff instead. Motor Ed attempting to give dating advice to Drakken is amusing. i really want to know what Gemini's nickname was as a kid but I guess Betty has to keep it secret so she can hold it over him.
Please update soon.
| VampireNaomi chapter 12 . 10/14/2009
I'm sorry about how dreadfully long it took me to review this chapter. Every time I had the time to do it, I was unable to concentrate long enough to write anything coherent and when I wanted to review, I was too busy. This was yet another fantastic chapter with some of the best character interaction in the entire story (and that's saying a lot), so I have many things I want to comment on.
First of all, it's an absolute riot to have Monty interact with the other villains, especially those who are very different from him. It's a mine of comedy gold, so it's a shame that we didn't get to see that in the series apart from A Sitch in Time. I absolutely love his conversations with Motor Ed because you couldn't probably find two more different characters in the series. Having Monty stumble upon the whole Motor Ed playing matchmaker and giving advice to Drakken plotline was simply a hilarious idea. There are great dynamics at play with Ed's self-confidence, Drakken's denial and Dementor and Monty's reactions to the whole thing. I could honestly read an entire fic simply about their conversations even if nothing else was going on.
It was a good idea from Monty to point out that maybe Drakken shouldn't be following all of Ed's advice about how to approach Shego. It may not be obvious to Ed, but everyone else can clearly see he's not exactly hot stuff with ladies, or at least the kind of ladies Shego represents. I absolutely loved his musings about how everyone is in denial. XD Too bad Adrena Lynn isn't in the story. She might be able to give Ed something to chew on.
Monty's reaction to the news about Killigan and Amy was another favourite moment of mine. I've been waiting to see that since the beginning of the story, and you certainly didn't disappoint. Once he gets over his shock and disgust, I'm sure he's going to give Motor Ed all the mental support at playing matchmaker for the two of them, even if it's beneath him to get actually involved.
Killigan's little moment of defending Amy was another point for the pairing. It's really starting to get under his skin that she's after Monty. I can hardly wait for the scene in which Amy turns her attentions to him and when it becomes clear to him that she doesn't like Monty anymore. I think you did a really good job at portraying her doubts in this chapter. She still likes Monty, or at least she thinks she does since she hasn't stopped to seriously think about it, but at the same time her eyes are starting to open to the way he treats her. I like it how you've decided to take this approach rather than emphasize her feelings for Killigan yet. I mean, she has to realise that the way Monty acts around her isn't love and that no man should treat a woman like he treats her. Once that becomes clear to her, I'm sure her relationship with Killigan is going to be even better.
Perhaps the best thing about this whole story is the scenes in which all the characters are gathered together. You get to play with so many different personalities and relationships here that it's bound to be awesome - and it is every time. You have a knack for writing dialogue because even if you never said who says what, it would be clear from the word choices and tones of the lines. Good dialogue is one of the most important elements in any story for me, and you never fail at it ever. I can't really pick any favourite lines in the conference scene because everyone had something good to say. Gemini and Dr. Director were perhaps the most prominent ones, so they had the most memorable things to say. However, if I really had to pick, I'd probably go for Senior and Shego's lines about how they shouldn't argue so much. It was just a minor moment, but it just struck me somehow. I guess it's because they're the only villains mature enough to point out such a thing.
I'm really glad Hench Co. is getting more involved in the story. As you know, you've made me like Jack Hench a lot. It's just amazing how you took this character and made me care about him when I barely even remembered his existance before. I liked the detail about how he asked Gemini to have a word with Drakken about how he and Shego stole the muscle enhancement rings.
Motor Ed's invention is so like him! XD Good thing that it works and is useful for the goos guys. I was honestly half-expecting him to come up with something that's just super cool but doesn't help in the fight much.
You're making me more and more curious about Ron and Monty and their powers. It's been a little in the background with all the other stuff happening, but it has been my favourite element in the story right from the start. I can't wait to see some more interaction between them, witness how their rivaly may or may not change a little and maybe even see them fight side by side when the final battle rolls around. If I had to pick a favourite story on this site based entirely on the interaction between these two, I'd take this one. You've done a marvellous job so far, and I know it's only going to get better.
Senior's worry for Junior and Bonnie is one minor plotline that I'm very interested in. I was glad to see it pop up here again, and you've got me pretty curious about what Kim is going to say. I'm kind of divided on this issue myself because while I like Bonnie, I think a very different woman would be far better for Junior in the long run. He needs someone who will encourage him to be more independent and mature, not someone who will just exaggerate all of his negative qualities.
Ron's talk with Sensei was my favourite part in this chapter. It reflected all the great ideas that we've talked about in the Monty fandom before, such as the fantastic Tool Theory you and Hanna came up with. I absolutely love the idea that Monty's destiny was simply to ensure that Ron gets MMP and grows to use his powers. It has lots of potential for angst considering how obsessed he's with the powers, but it can also be used for character development.
Sensei's line about how greed will make Monty give up his powers was simply perfect.
If this review didn't make it obvious, I just loved this chapter. It got me all hyped up about future events in the storyline, so I'll be eagerly waiting for more.
| Katsumara chapter 12 . 10/3/2009
Well this was a very good chapter and another great one to set up what's to come. I loved the bit with all of the villains. I can never get too much of the comedy there.
The bit with Senior worried about Junior dating Bonnie is too hilarious, Haha. Wanting Kim's honest opinion? Oh boy. I wonder what she'll say. I'm wondering if she'll hedge a bit and try to be nice about her.
The conversation with Sensei and Ron was great as well. Good work there, and Sensei sure does like popping up to surprise people.
Great job as always. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| screaming phoenix chapter 12 . 10/3/2009
Poor Monty this is one of the few times that I really feel sorry for him. Amy has to be the most annoying person on the planet.
Girl advice from Motor Ed. Whats the world coming to anyway?
Sensei seems to have figured out what Monty will do and how he will do it with Ron and the MMP. Now all you have to do is clue the rest of us in.
Your kinda light on the Kim and Ron moments here!
| VampireNaomi chapter 11 . 8/24/2009
The first scene between Ron and Monkey Fist was something that I have been waiting to happen ever since you started this story. I just knew Monty wouldn't take Ron's news very well, so the anticipation of waiting for his reaction was utterly delicious. After struggling with the decision of whether to choose MMP or the Yono's powers, Ron asking him about MMP has to be the final nail to his coffin. XD I find it funny how Ron knew that this was the reaction he was going to get but how he still asked the question - even if he did spend quite a lot of time avoiding it. The whole scene was just filled with delightful interaction between the two. Not many can make these two characters perfectly in-character like this, and this is why I love your writing so much. I just adored the following bit because it was so in-tune with the series and I could hear Monty say it in my head,
"'Of course – how brave of you, hiding behind your weapon…' he said somewhat sourly as he was reminded of how those fools were keeping him in check."
I love Monty's shock when he discovers that Ron has already learnt to use MMP on some level. It must be such a blow to him to find out that no matter how hard he has worked and studied, he still can't control the power whereas Ron does so with very little difficulty. Even though (or maybe because) it would be painful for him, I'd love to see him witness Ron using his powers. Firstly, it would be a great source of some nice angst and secondly, it might give him the push he needs in order to realise that being the Ultimate Monkey Master really isn't his destiny and he should find something else to do with his life.
Too bad that Will Du interrupted their conversation. It would have been interesting to see where it was going, but I'm sure there will be tons of interaction for these two in the future.
Again I must say how much I like the way you're writing Senior and his bond with Hana. One particular detail I liked in this chapter was how melancholy Senior felt when he recalled how Junior hadn't been very happy to see him. It's such a shame that Junior doesn't realise what a fantastic father he has, especially since Senior is so old that he probably won't be there for that long anymore. It would do Junior some good to grow up a little and get a different perspective on life, but honestly... I can't see that happening very easily. XD
I found Senior's brief discussion about children with Dr. Director to be interesting. I can certainly understand Betty and how she claims to have no regrets (after all, many women really don't want children, no matter what), but her cold tone makes me wonder if she was that snappy because she DID have regrets, or just because she didn't appreciate a villain pushing his nose into her personal matters. I know it was a small detail in the fic, but it got me curious.
Kim's talk with her family was just heart-warming. It's great that her family is so supportive of her no matter what she's doing. I'm actually glad that they're mostly out of the fic and therefore safe since I'd hate to see Kim worry about them and get distracted because of that. The way you wrote the whole family and their dialogue was perfectly in-character and I could easily imagine this exact talk taking place in canon if there ever was a situation as serious as this.
I adored the scene with Gemini because we finally got to see a more vulnerable and angsty side of him. After reading the bits you've written about him elsewhere, you've really made me like him. All this growing tension is making me eager to get to the end of the fic where the battle will happen because I know what you've got planned there. It's going to be fantastic. I also enjoyed that Jack Hench had an appearance here. It could be the after effects of the slash fic you just showed me, but I really like these two characters interacting together. They're the perfect partners in crime despite (or because) of their different approaches.
Yay for more cute Killigan/Amy interaction! :D I love it how you're taking your time with developing this pairing and just letting the two of them to have fun together and get to know each other a little better. You're probably the only person who can write this pairing in a way that's this adorable, in-character and believable. Amy trying out golf reminded me of your other writings about these two, and it was just as hilarious here.
It was a great idea to bring Will Du back face to face with Killigan. I loved their strained interaction and how they both tried to make the other feel as uncomfortable as possible. Man, with just a few lines you've turned me into a Will fan. I hope he'll be popping up again in the fic.
Haha, you sure made me crack up with that final scene in which Monty stumbled upon the other villains. Sometimes I get the feeling that he's the only sane person in this lair, and that's quite a frightening thought. XD
| VampireNaomi chapter 10 . 8/10/2009
Man, I can never put into words how sorry I am that it took me so long to review! You actually managed to update before I had the chance to review the previous chapter. Sorry, sorry! Now I'm finally sitting down to review chapter ten. My review for the next chapter should follow shortly afterwards.
The interaction between Kim and Shego in the first scene caught my interest right away. It makes sense that Shego would be bored with their confrontations now that they happen every day. Besides, this time they're fighting each other just to stay in shape. There's none of the real excitement that comes with Kim trying to stop Shego and Drakken's evil plan of the day. These are not real fights, even if neither one of them is holding back. I guess it's no surprise that Kim keeps teasing Shego about her feelings for Drakken every time these two meet. She's probably feeling a bit bored, too, and here she has the ultimate weapon to get under Shego's skin. The fact that Shego can't use anything to throw these remarks back at her rival gives Kim a nice edge.
Why Shego has stayed with Drakken even after he has gone good is a theme that I've seen explored numerous times. That's why I'm glad that you skipped that in this chapter with the explanation of a hiatus. It's plausible that Shego would want to avoid discussing that issue right now and especially with Kim, considering her insecurities about whether Drakken needs her or not. I think it's better to save this plot point for a later conversation with Drakken since he's the one involved.
Haha, I so enjoy reading about Monty throwing a childish temper tantrum when he can't have everything he wants. I almost feel sorry for him; it's almost tragic how he has to give up the one thing he wanted more than anything else in his life. Even if the powers of the Yono turn out to be stronger and grant immortality and what not, it's a shame that can't have MMP anymore. It's true that it belongs to Ron, but at the same time MMP is what has defined Monty and his goals for so long that it might be hard to see much substance in him if it's gone. I mean, what else does he have in his life? It would also be interesting to see if giving up his MMP will affect his relationship with his monkey ninjas.
Would it even be possible for him to just give up the powers of the Yono, or would he first have to find someone willing to make a deal with him? If things get really desperate, that might actually be a good way to trap an enemy who is too powerful.
As always, you've written Monty wonderfully in-character. I can practically hear every one of his lines and imagine his expressions and movements. I love it how you portray his hatred for Ron so strongly here. Even when they have to work together, they can't stand each other and Monkey Fist is always having difficulties controlling his temper around him. Yet you've clearly managed to push both characters into a situation in which they've become more than what they were in the series. Even though I'm certain that they will never be friends or like each other, I'm hoping that they will reach at least some kind of understanding of each other after everything is said and done in this story.
I like it how the thought of immortality is so tempting to Monty. He's got so excited about it that he's again rushing into things without thinking about the consequences. Immortality is never as much fun as it first seems, and I wonder if he will realise that in the course of the fic.
The scene between Dr. Director and Gemini was one of my favourite scenes in the whole chapter. It was tons of fun seeing Gemini try to lure Hana to the dark side with marshmallows, but I also appreciate the subtle sibling relationship between the two adults. While it's clear that they love annoying each other and both of them always want to be better than the other, there are these small details that make me think that very, very deep down they actually care about each other. The bit about Dr. Director using their mother in their argument and then feeling low about it was a nice touch, as was the fact that Gemini left in anger when they started talking about their mother.
I love it how Killigan was able to help Amy and that they got along so fantastically in their scene. They really do make an effective pair both as villains and as friends - I can't wait for them to make it to lovers! :D Amy is so at ease with him that I think Killigan is far better for her than Monty. I mean, the mere mention of Monty turns her into an insane fangirl, but with Killigan she's almost acting like a normal person. Since she has already developed this type of relationship with him, it's unlikely that she will ever go crazy around him. Her relationship with Killigan is based on actually liking him as a person, whereas I think she only likes Monty because of superficial reasons such as that she made his hands and feet.
I loved seeing how Drakken has the same insecurities about why Shego has stuck him him up to this point. His utter rage and determination as he keeps insisting that she will never leave him were a cute mix of fear and denial. I absolutely loved this line:
“We’re always yelling anyway, right? About all kinds of stuff. About all kinds of irrelevant stuff.”
It's so in-character and in tune with the spirit of the show that I can just giggle. :D
And then Motor Ed! It's hilarious how he went from having the hots for Shego to wanting to give Drakken advice just because he realised that his cousin had feelings for her. Even though he's such a jerk most of the time, he really does have his good points and he can be a pretty decent guy sometimes.
I really like Will Du, so it was fun to see him back in action in the story. And just like everyone else, he was perfectly in-character. I just don't get it how you can write all these characters so well when they're all so different and have such versatile speech patterns. You can't imagine how jealous I am.
It was fun to see the Lowardians get their own scene as well, but I'm starting to feel that we need to see more of them. Considering that there are only two canon Lowardians, it might be more difficult to write about them, but we need to get to know some Lowardian OCs asap if you want the readers to feel anything for them or see them as anything but enemies when the time for the battle comes. I think it would be lots of fun to follow one or two Lowardians throughout the story, maybe some who have doubts about the whole mission. Of course, it's perfectly understandable that you'd rather concentrate on the canon characters and their interaction and character development, but the Lowardians are coming off as a bit flat compared to them.
I have already read the next chapter and loved it, so you can expect another review within a week. You've done fantastic work again!
| Slyrr chapter 11 . 8/4/2009
I've had conversations like the one at the start of the chapter, where you constantly ask the speaker to get to the point, but all they do is use another sentence that starts with 'ok, well before I tell you...' I may well have done so myself sometimes. I had no idea how annoying it was. ; )
I can't remember in 'exchange' if Monkey Fist was still present when Ron used the blue glow to knock down a few icicles. If he was, that might be a continuity point, but otherwise that part seemed quite plausible.
Still fun seeing S doing the grandpa act. I suppose he probably would be oddly touched with looking after a newborn. Especially when you consider what a waste of space his son turned out to be. He might be pining for a chance to start over and prove he can do the job right.
I don't really buy into any woman's declaration that they have 'no regrets' when they choose career over children. Of course, I can't understand how anyone with a feeling heart in them could see a newborn baby and not swoon over it.
Having written a few 'farewell' scenes in my current story, I couldn't help noting certain similarities. My own attempts at them felt a bit awkward since there's a lot of emotion that needs to be injected. I'd have probably done less for Ron too since writing him getting all misty-eyed can be a real toughie.
Always wondered why those rings didn't turn up more often...
How many chapters remain before the actual invasion? I guess it would be kind of funny if after all that prepartion, the Lorwardian's DIDN'T try to invade again... ; )