|Reviews for Walk though the fire|
| Streetdog chapter 12 . 6/17/2013
Ok. Uhhh... The story is "eh"
Original Character gets a thumbs down. Two thumbs down.
Please, do your research.
To be honest I think if you really wanted to, actually put in the time to make corrections and research what it was like in Victorian London then it might turn out to be decent.
But as of right now, it's not even worth five minutes of my time.
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/21/2013
You're due for an update soon
| TheGallifreyanAtheist chapter 11 . 12/24/2009
will you finish the story?please have holmes marry her
| Unimpressed chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
"remember if you don’t have anything nice to say I don’t want to hear it" - congratulations; how mature! About as mature as your OC, as it happens.
If you're going to post fiction in a fandom such as this, might I make a few suggestions:
1. Learn how to spell!
2. Learn how to use punctuation correctly!
3. Do a little research - you clearly have absolutely no idea about the realities of Victorian England.
4. There are these wonderful little things called paragraphs - try using them now and then. Your fic looks like a comedy burglar's jumper - line, space, line, space, line, space.
5. Develop an OC with a bit of personality and even a minor degree of realism. There is no way that either Holmes or Watson would put up with a bratty, two-dimensional little emo like her. She'd end up in bedlam.
And what exactly is with the constant bursting into song? And an 'unseen male voice' just happens to join in now and then, does he?
Continuing to ignore any constructive criticism that other writers have given you is definitely not the mark of a good writer - it's the mark of an arrogant little kid. Sorry if this wasn't the 'OMG!1 It's Gr8!' you were looking for, but don't post on an online fandom if you can't take criticism.
My congratulations on writing the most dreadful piece of garbage I have ever read!
| KageNoNeko chapter 11 . 9/13/2009
Short chapter. I would love to find out what will happen next.
| Protector of the Gray Fortress chapter 11 . 9/5/2009
Ok, firstly, I need to apologize that I haven't reviewed this story for so long. Sometimes I hate college. I changed my major from Archaeology to English and had to go through a whole ton of crap in the first place.
Secondly. HUZZAH! Bravo for not giving up. That is the mark of an excellent author, when you write your story no matter if people love it or not. Its you're story and you write it the way you want it.
Thirdly, the story itself. Wow, I did not imagine a twist like that. Leaving on her own, That is most definitely the action of a Mary Sue. And then Holmes and Watson coming after her was my favorite part. I love it when guys do that sort of thing. Shows they care.
Anyway, I'll have to go read the whole thing again to get caught up, Then maybe I'll be able to leave a more comprehensible review.
As for that less than flattering review you recieved, if you ever do need a beta (personally I think you're doing great without one) I'll b happy to volunteer.
| Elfdragon12 chapter 11 . 9/4/2009
Continuing on from my last review after reading the rest.
My opinion is the same about characterization. You tried to get the readers to connect with her more, but to me, it was more like shoving sentimentalism down the throat. This may be harsh, I don't feel any more emotion for her now than when I started reading. You need to show the readers instead of just telling the readers. It sounds weird, but it is possible.
She's a stranger in a strange place, but she feels comfortable enough to dance around as if she was still in the 21st century?
The marriage thing was weird. I can't really imagine Watson bringing it up. He knows Holmes's opinion on women better than anyone else, especially if this takes place after 'The Copper Beeches'. Also, he'd probably feel cruel for inflicting Holmes on some poor, unsuspecting woman. ;) Watson is more chivalrous than that.
Again, you need to watch out for those typos that take out from the quality of writing. There's a pretty bad run-on at the end of this latest chapter.
| Elfdragon12 chapter 6 . 9/4/2009
I would like to bring up some important points that you should really consider.
Character building-there is very little that any of your readers actually know about your characters. Six chapters in, all I know is that Cass is violently outspoken, is in a band, misses her family, and randomly bursts into singing. There is nothing I can connect to your characters on. I have no reason to sympathize with her. After her shouting at Mrs. Hudson, I'm more ready to resent the brat she's being. Just who are her bandmates? Maybe you give more information later on, but more information should have been given in the first chapter.
Portrayal of the Canon Characters-to me, your understanding of them seems to be superficial. You don't go into any real depth or detail about their thought processes.
The random singing-symbolic the songs may be, but it's unrealistic for her to be singing them like that. Unless it's a musical, I don't know of anyone who bursts into song like that and I've been in choirs and drama clubs.
Clothes-to be frank, there are whores in the Victorian era that wore less revealing clothes than Cass did when she first popped in. I'm personally surprised that Holmes and Watson didn't think she was one of the 'ladies of the night'.
Yelling at Mrs. Hudson-rather uncalled for, don't you think? Sure, Cass is lost and confused, but to yell at the landlady for trying to help her out? Unreasonable.
Technique-there is stuff you can improve on. There have several grammatical errors and typos you could have fixed by giving it more than one quick run-through. Reading outloud has always helped me find those rough spots. And there is very little(almost none at all) description. Author's Notes are a bad place to put the initial description of your characters.
| Sherlockian Fanatic chapter 11 . 9/3/2009
01. It’s abnormal to burst into song after crying. It’s unrealistic. She’s not believable if she is singing 24/7, especially so while on the verge of running away.
02. It's understandable to be hysterical when you've been tossed into another world, but it is unacceptable to act like a tantrum throwing little monster. Holmes and Watson would not put up with that sort of nonsense if it lasted longer than a day. Mrs. Hudson shouldn't be disrespected for doing what is best for an ungrateful girl. Mind you, she doesn't even apologise for being rude. She could very easily toss all three out on their bums if Cassidy did half the stuff you've written. She’s being immature; a trait that no one finds amusing, especially in a girl that’s surrounded by adults.
03. Playing music at any volume would easily attract unwanted attention. Unwanted attention would lead to her discovery.
04. I never said a thing about Holmes and Watson not searching for her in a pub. I clearly stated that she would not have survived in that sort of setting. Women that were musically inclined to sing in a shady sort of place were assaulted (i.e. raped, molested, abused, or murdered.)
05. You also need to work on punctuation, grammar, and spelling. A beta might be the best solution.
| han8661 chapter 11 . 9/3/2009
he he! I am loving this series! more please more please! he, he, he, he ,he
| Sherlockian Fanatic chapter 10 . 9/1/2009
I have to say, I’m disappointed with this fanfiction. The main character acts immature from the very beginning, and yet the residents of Baker Street take her seriously. She sings at random, inappropriate moments, and throws temper tantrums left and right. Not only does she risk changing the future by waving around her electronic devices, but she also sings songs that won’t be around for over a hundred years. None of this makes sense. Sherlock and Watson are grown men, therefore, would never in a million years be amused by this sort of immaturity. Your character is even low enough to curse at Mrs. Hudson for no apparent reason other than being an undeveloped brat. Then, to top it all off, she leaves Baker Street, the only place that is realistically safe for a girl of her age. Men in the Victorian era, especially at a “grimy pub,” would have raped / molested her on the spot. She would have been considered a harlot for walking around in her own clothes, and possibly thrown in jail upon first sight on the street.
It would be like: An obnoxious, whiny bitch from the future appears in Victorian England. Shockingly enough, in the dwelling place of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. She throws a fit about everything and Sherlock ends up shooting her. The End.
| Mam'zelleCombeferre chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
A suggestion for the next song:
Can you Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson.
It made me think of Cassie and Jet
| medcat chapter 1 . 7/5/2009
Might I suggest you use spellcheck? There are several typos in your story summary.
| Smile-san chapter 7 . 6/23/2009
I love the plot! Today it suddenly struck that I should chekck out Sherlock's fics. Yours is the first one I am reading. I usually hang around in Bleach Fandom.
| Mam'zelleCombeferre chapter 7 . 6/15/2009
I am sad to say I have never read a Sherlock Holmes book in my life, but this fandom is inspiring me to check them out again. This chapter was great. I love Watson and what he did seems so like him it is crazy.