|Reviews for A Foxes Tale|
| sam stewart chapter 20 . 11/13
hope to see this story grow again one day?
| Guest chapter 20 . 10/22
I can't wait to read chapter 21
| Bosma17 chapter 20 . 10/24
| Jay chapter 20 . 10/7
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/26
please write the next chapter. we all want to read it
| LordofTerror chapter 20 . 9/27
great chapter can't wait for the next
| Monster King chapter 20 . 9/12
Great story I really liked it can't wait until the next update comes.
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/7
please write more of this great story we all like it
| Guest chapter 20 . 8/31
Please write more of this great story PLEASE
| onepieceaddict99 chapter 20 . 8/31
I just got caught up reading your story, and I just have to say that it's amazing! I can't wait for the next chapter, so you keep up the great work you do!
| tonyalexander13 chapter 20 . 8/24
I NEED MORE PLZ!
| DevilHeart435 chapter 20 . 8/13
Ok, I have re-read the story from start to finish to get my self reacquainted with the story line, and here is what I honestly think of it. It's a good story, but one of it's major issues is it's inconsistency, by this I mean there too many breaks in the story. Now I know that break between scenes are necessary, but when you make them and leave out key details it confuses the reader and loses the immersion you were aiming for.
More specifically the last 3 chapters alone are prime examples of this, you literally drop the proverbial bomb on the reader that Kurama is back, but leave it as a cliffhanger. That in and of itself wouldn't be a bad thing, except for the fact that you don't even touch it in the next chapter, opting instead to rush ahead to Naruto being promoted and immediately leaving the village for next to unknown reasons. Now as a reader this utterly irked me to no end, I was actually interested in how that event played out and what came of it. But in your haste to get to Part 2 as you put it you practically glossed over it and Sasuke's defection and rescue misson. Now the last part I can understand seeing as Itachi is already back in the village(speaking of we need an update on him, just to remind you), but the fact that you didn't bother with either one of those facts till thos chapter kind of ruined it for me. Never mind the encounter with Fu which if you ask me would have been an interesting fight. The Kyuubi suddenly returning after everyone had thought him dead and Kushina the new Kyuubi is pretty big news, yet it was barely even touched even in this chapter. I my was wondering how did he come back, why was Kushina suddenly free of the seal if she had been the Kyuubi from the start? These are thing your readers would like to know. Anothering is the stange lack of relationship building and interaction between Naruto and Hinata, you vaguely mention that Ino revealed her crush on Naruto to him but that is all, there is no romanticism between them beyond that and yet she is automatically eligible to be one of Naruto's girlfriend's and potential wives.
Now as a NaruHina fan I don't particularly mind this, but as a reader it feels kind of forced, in a way it seems like you weren't really planning on Hinata even being in the Harem, but decided to throw her in last minute. To be honest you focused more on Ino's interactions with him than you did Hinata's, there is no build up to that point where real love can blossom. Without that it makes it feel strained, like they are just together to keep with the hype and nothing else. That's not a good way to build the bonds between characters especially potential lovers. You did good with Ino but it is pretty clear ahe was actually your main focus, the problem is you can't exactly do that especially if you're trying to write a harem fic, you need to have equal screen time and interaction between the members of the harem and their intended. RosarioVampire is a prime example of this. I know that this your story and you can write it as you damn well please, but for your readers you need to build those relationships properly, not throw them in just because one is popular or shipped so much. Another thing I noticed is that you brought Inuyasha and the gang into the story but all but cut them out of it the next chapter, when are we going to see them again seeing as they are a major part of the crossover to begin with? I guess the only other thing I wanted to ask about would be where you intended to go with regards to Kurotsuchi?
Well this is getting kind of long, I really don't mean to flame you, you're a damn good writer but I just wanted to bring those problems to light for you.
| GhoulDevil chapter 20 . 8/12
i rlly hope u can get the next chapter out soon. pls and thank you.
| SlyUzumakiVii chapter 20 . 8/3
truly a grand story thanks for writing!
| SlyUzumakiVii chapter 5 . 8/2
... a framed picture of sasuke' s mom... in lingerie omg that's priceless and funny as hell add the message... id hate be the teme