|Reviews for Haruka's secret|
| KAnuofseito chapter 1 . 11/26/2009
that was cute...but it has to make u wonder...Wat would that be like? (shiver) weirdness!
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 1 . 10/12/2009
Well, well, soldier...
This was N-I-CE!
I LOL-ed all the way through! LOL
ShizHaruka is pretty damn full of WIN! LMAO
Nice work, marine!
Now, I'm off to read "Yukino's Secret". ROFL
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| ThunderJovi chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
It may be a weird pairing, but it was a pretty cute fic. And again, funny omake...
| wind chapter 1 . 2/21/2009
aw.. haha. too short! darn! XD
make more shizuruxharuka hahaha! they're kinda cute
| obsessively-yours chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
lol nice omake
| TheSongWriter chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
LMAO! A very unusual paring indeed XD But you made it short sweet an simple _ You definitely deserve more reviews than what you are getting... People probably don't like this paring well enough to review or read. But I think you did a great job writing the story. And the omake really cracked me up. Shizuru eating Natsuki O_O and doggy Haruka...HAWT! :P I enjoyed reading it :3
| kk chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
nice story it was intresting hard to see that pairing but its a story that isnt natnoa or shiznat...so yeah...i like it
| AWESOME FIC chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
FINALLY! A Shizuru romance in it without Natsuki! That has been driving me CRAZY! By the way, this is a pretty plausible pairing if you just work with it right, and you have, but the Shiz/Nat loyalists to some extent just can't see that. Don't get me wrong I like Shiz/Nat as much as the next fan, but just not so much anymore-it's getting old and there is hardly enough variety in this fandom for me. I have been with it from the very beginning when there were only about 23 fictions in it-and this is a very good diversion from the usual. KEEP IT UP! Don't listen to anything negative just because of the pairing gripes! It's about time someone dared to think outside the box.
| Anonfag chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
Dude, this story is so bad in so many ways.
1) Punctuation. You didn't even bother to use punctuate in some parts. I mean, is it so hard to re-read your 800 words three or four times to make sure everything is perfect. When you write something, you put a lot of effort into writing it. All that can be spoilt by not spending a few minutes of your time to correct yourself. This is why you're a newbie and will remain one.
2) The size. With a pairing like this, you can't just write it on a whim. It's so unlikely that they'll ever pair up that you need to build up on their history so that it'll look believable. Just writing it off the bat and expecting it to look natural isn't going to work. You should have put more thought into it to build up suspense/tension.
3) The details. Going back to my last point, you quickly jumped into the story. 'She is my enemy and yet I’m in love with her,' is a good line but it came too soon. In my opinion, the story would have been good if it went like this: *Introduction to setting* - *Reminiscing about the past events between Haruka and Shizuru* - *Current situation* -*Yukino leaves, leaving Shizuru and Haruka to interact* - *More reminiscing* *Maybe the confession here? Or leave it like this as a sort of unrequited love.* Now, that was just a basic structure of a story. It would have held more tension/information between the two and make them look more natural together.
4) The pairing. Shizuru x Haruka? What the hell where you thinking? She should always be paired with Natsuki. Lol, I’m just kidding. Nothing wrong with the pairing in fact. Just that they’re both a bit out of character. I mean, Haruka just wouldn’t accept it that she’s in love with the Kaichou so easily. There’d be a bit of inner conflict, raging emotions and a hell load of denial. Shizuru accepts Haruka’s love so easily and they quickly gather into an embrace. There was a touch, a kiss and a hug but it all lacked emotion. It was so generic and stiff that it was obvious you were just hurrying to get this over and done with.
5) Yukino and Natsuki. What the hell happened to them? I assume this is an alternative universe because there is no mention of the carnival but you totally ignore those two. Give them at least a mention, hell, Natsuki could even act as a source of jealousy of Haruka’s.
Yeah man, there’s my opinion.
| angelronin chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
Thanks for writing Shizuru/Haruka fic
| ShotgunNeko chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
lmao you go! i always kinda thought there could be another reason that haruka was so obsessed with shizuru...lol...i actually wrote a what if chapter in one of my stories...and well the fans were like...AH IT'S NOT SHIZNAT...so i commend u! and applaud u!
nice job ;)
| DreamShadower chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
You really don't see much of this pairing. How brave of you to post this. :D
The omake was great. XD
| LucidLucifer chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
umm...uh... *brain freeze* *heads desk* Erase Erase...
| catco chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
nice FF :)
It goes nothing about Shiznat but it is a nice change to read something like that, too.
The Omake, had let me slip with laughter almost
of the chair XD
| Spikesagitta chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
..hmm..interesting...i for one..like to see something new :) more of this pairing hmm..? and i like it thanks for the interesting read :)