|Reviews for Devious|
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
Hm, nicely done. A couple of times your extended metaphor gets a bit jumbled - "All the time Galatea was overhead, swirling around him like planets in orbit" - makes it sound like Galatea is the one swirling. You should make it clear you're referring to his duties here. For the most part, it works well and makes a nice counterpart to the rising action.
I'm not sure capitalizing sun was a good idea - or, if you do, it might be better to capitalize galaxy too. "But she was the galaxy, and the Sun was a part of that." looks inconsistent.
| Indigo Tantarian chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
This is great. I can definitely see that happening! And I think it's entirely likely that Team Galactic existed before Cyrus. Galatea seems believable as a leader, except that she struck me as a little too ambitious in the beginning to give up so easily in the end.
I enjoyed this a lot!
| Jarkes chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
| Cerulean City chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
Interesting...very very interesting...
~The Laughing Man,
| Axletia Rosonetis chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
Hmm...Cyrus knows how to kill people in a good way, but so young...
...For some reason I think of him as needing Botox, and if he doesn't get it, then he starts to look like Pluto.
But maybe that's just me. (And it has a lot to do with his skin, so maybe he's some kinda supernatural creature that Arceus accidentally created while making Darkrai...)
So...other than that, you kept Cyrus in-character, so...good job.