|Reviews for Last one standing|
| Mrs.Pargo21 chapter 1 . 3/22
Plz hurry and update this story, it is so addictive and i cant wait until u do!
| Mrs.Pargo21 chapter 7 . 9/2/2014
I cant wait until u write more...literally. I keep rereading the story.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/25/2014
I like your story.
| diggydawg chapter 7 . 8/30/2012
Omg, no way? I thought there was going to be more! Lol. That was really good, I want Hiei and Hitomi to get together :P I mean, I know they will, it's just I'd like them too :P I like them both as a couple :3 Please update soon, at least you've updated this year already (referring to your last update)! Lol :P I really want to see what happens with her heat, and Hiei... and everything... ! Lol :3 Please update soon!
| Ayane M chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
Shoot, forgot to mention... Author's notes while the story is going on shows immature writing as well. If you *need* to say something, put a number in parenthesis or brackets then mention it at the end of the chapter. In the author's notes section where you beg for reviews. You know, where it belongs.
| Ayane M chapter 7 . 3/4/2012
I'm sorry... I know your note says your computer wasn't working so you couldn't use spell check (which, by the way, will also run through and underline stuff if you "Edit" your uploaded chapters), but there is *seriously* no excuse for this. I mean, come on, even your bio's spelled wrong... If you're not an English native, then please stick to writing in your own language. If you *are* an English native...then I'm learning a new language because you have shamed us.
There's only been one story I've read that has had a more hardcore Mary Sue and worse spelling, grammar, and punctuation. That story, if anyone remembers it, is "My Immortal". Then again, I only decided to read your stories since you took the time to review one of my ancient ones since I don't normally seek out stories on . Apparently, that's for the best.
Please, writer to writer, fix your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. If you're not even willing to use to fix those issues yourself, then get a BETA reader. You need one. Then, when you're done with that, *please* make Hitomi not so "perfect with a tragic past". Misa and Cherry were *nothing* compared to how nauseating Hitomi is, trust me. There is no reason to have a Mary Sue and be proud of her...
I forced myself to read through it all, hoping that it would get better, but it didn't, and I'm very disturbed by this; especially after reading the other reviews telling you that you need to fix stuff. As a writer, you *need* to listen to your readers. Listening to them will *help* you.
So, please, for the sake of your story, start listening to your readers - and not just the ones who say they like it.
| Lyne-chan chapter 7 . 2/6/2012
The name is Lyne and I'm a french reader. I just read your story and I felt that you could use a bit of advice.
First and foremost, you need a beta-reader. And I mean it, because even someone like me who isn't a native can tell how much you need one. Now, if it was only some mistakes in your grammar or stuff like that, that would've bothered me but I would've let it pass, for many authors on this website have the same difficulties. But you misspelled many basic words such as "thank you", you couldn't make the difference between "hole" and "whole", and that's just some of the many mistakes I listed in your story. I know I'm being blunt and I'm sorry, but you really need to fix that. It gets annoying. Also, you should check the spelling of the japanese words you want to use because "buka" doesn't mean anything. The right word for "idiot" is "baka".
Then, maybe I should talk about the story itself.
Hitomi is a typical Mary-Sue. No more no less. Now I know that some people like that type of story with a perfect, beautiful, strong OC with a troubled past but personally, I think that's pointless. But that's nothing more than my own opinion. If your aim was to write this kind of story then congratulations, you succeeded. But if you wanted to create something more, you should try to modify Hitomi a little bit.
Finally, I must talk about the members of the YuYu Gang. They're all OOC. That I don't like either, I think that if the manga met so much success it's precisely because they were how Togashi made them. But here again, that's nothing more than my own point of view.
I'm sorry if this review sounds a bit like flames, but since we are here to help each other with their writing, I felt like I had to tell you that.
Hope you'll do your best for the next chapters!
| Sorrowxdarkness chapter 7 . 1/31/2012
Please continue with the story. It is quite interesting and I enjoy reading Yu Yu Hakusho fanfics, especially when it concerns with my favorite character Hiei. I'm starting to life this story with this new character.
| sssnake chapter 7 . 1/12/2012
This counts as ten reviews; review review review review review review review review review review. There. Now you can write the next chapter :P And you SERIOUSLY need some spell-check. I can still tell what you're trying to say, but spell-check is a must have.
| yuyulove chapter 1 . 2/25/2011
As I was reading this I honestly thought it was a child writing, then I read your bio. There's no way your in college with this kind of spelling and grammar. Call this a flame if you want but your writing level is way below college. Maybe taking an English class or five will help.
| piper luna chapter 6 . 1/16/2011
yeah love the name Misty and sense theres not alot about her i'm gassing that she won't play a major part. Misty called suichi kurama i'm guassing that you had just typed it so much that you just did it without thinking. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
| piper luna chapter 5 . 1/16/2011
oh that did make him sound kind of wimpy. that was a sad and little missed up flashback. Hiei just dosn't get it the poor thing.
| piper luna chapter 4 . 1/16/2011
that is so like Boton :( SLUT! There i said it for you haha :P
| piper luna chapter 3 . 1/16/2011
talk about getting it dumped on you all at once. and the 'where did you come from?' never gets old :D i kind of got why Hiei did that, the Heat, :D must have been getting to him. Kurama, what a snecky little fox! :) i for one would like him to nit :D Yeah teddy hair Hiei! where can i get one?
| piper luna chapter 2 . 1/16/2011
your right good thing i read important news or i would have been confused. that is a wired name that you made up never heard of anything like it. i'm glad that she blacked out for that part :B(biting lip) love the whole cresent moon thing its like sailor moon but different in a lot of ways because it really dosen't mean anything yet it changes with her emotions. oh i want the stuffed doggy! :D oh the tounge joke haha never really gets old. oh does gold mean that she likes him or shea happy? and what about black?