|Reviews for The Care and Handling of Professor Snape|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/15
Hahahahaha. This HAS to have been written by the Weasley twins. Although nr. 17 makes me suppose Ron had a hand in it, too. Brilliant and hilarious.
| lucifer16985214 chapter 1 . 6/12
26) Learn the Cheering Charm and Tickling Hex, and periodically cast them on the Professor. He suffers from severe depression, and will appreciate your efforts to help.
27) Eagerly ask if Professor Snivellus mentored the Weasley Twins, as they are the best potions brewers you know of. Also, ask if they mentored him.
28) If one forgets their Potions Supplies, Professor Snivellus is charitable and you may take what you need from his personal supplies.
29) Attempt to brew Polyjuice Potion and Veritaserum for extra-credit. For the sake of commemorating Harry Potter, be sure to do this in the Second Floor Girls Bathroom.
30) If you are shy and embarrassed by your [CENSORED]'s size, you may feel free to ask Professor Snivellus if the Swelling Solution would assist your problem. You may also ask for some of his private stock.
31) Put your name of the the roster for Potions Tester when the Poisons Unit starts. This will gain you extra points.
32) During the Poisons Unit, always carry a Bezoar in your pocket on the day you need to submit antidotes.
33) Sniffing the Potions that one is brewing will give a intense chemical high. Feel free to exploit this. Professor Snivellus has a more laid back view of narcotics than the Muggle World.
34) On Valentine's Day, be sure to dye one's hair red and offer white lilies to Professor Snivellus. Even if one is male. This brings back wonderful nostalgia in Professor Snivellus, and is sure to make him happy. Also, declare you undying love for him.
35) It is perfectly acceptable to inquire as to the Professor's childhood and his father, Tobias Snape. You may also attempt to confirm rumors of the secret homosexual relationship between the Professor, and an exclusive all-male group labeled "The Marauders".
| Anaquine chapter 1 . 4/30
It's so painful it's funny! Brilliantly done! Poor, poor Severus, oh the abuse!
| Brievel chapter 1 . 4/3
And who compiled this list...Weasley and Weasley...
| CrimsonDomi chapter 1 . 1/30
Is anyone really going to hand out this guide to first-years?
| Dontblink chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
Hehehe...which Hogwarts student came up with this? I want to say Weasley twins, but surely even they can't be that cruel.
Has to be a Slytherin that wants to get rid of some firsties. I can see the student population diminishing already.
My favorite was #22 and 17 :)
| Dearest Destiny chapter 1 . 12/2/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
| Alibi Nonsense chapter 1 . 9/30/2013
This is awesome. I can just imagine him bristling with rage!
| life is short so am I chapter 1 . 9/5/2013
Do a sequel! It would be sooooooo funny reading about first years asking Snape all these questions!
| Aoi Kitsune12 chapter 1 . 6/12/2013
I feel we may lose quite a few first years...
| CommChatter chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
24 was the best. I like it!
| Con Moto chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
Ahh I'd love to see someone do all of that! Good job!
| Ae3qe27u chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
| Annie chapter 1 . 8/30/2012
very funny and amusing. I normally find short pices like this a wast of time. This was well worth the read. You and very good at humor.