|Reviews for The Care and Handling of Professor Snape|
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/30/2015
The sarcasm is strong in this one
| Aquacoral14 chapter 1 . 12/30/2015
I'm assuming it was written by Fred or George? Because holy cow that is hilarious.
| Anon chapter 1 . 11/12/2015
Mr Fred and George Weasley,
please report to Prof. Dumbledores office. The first year Griffindors seem to have all come down with a mysterious case of Death during todays potions class. As Prof. Snape is not coherent the rest of the staff would like to ask you some questions
| Black' Victor Cachat chapter 1 . 9/22/2015
| SkippingSteppingStones chapter 1 . 9/18/2015
I feel like a House Elf Appreciation Banquet would be a kind of strange concept... Although, Hermione would probably convince all the students to cook the meal.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/15/2015
Hahahahaha. This HAS to have been written by the Weasley twins. Although nr. 17 makes me suppose Ron had a hand in it, too. Brilliant and hilarious.
| Darth Bubbles 16985214 chapter 1 . 6/12/2015
26) Learn the Cheering Charm and Tickling Hex, and periodically cast them on the Professor. He suffers from severe depression, and will appreciate your efforts to help.
27) Eagerly ask if Professor Snivellus mentored the Weasley Twins, as they are the best potions brewers you know of. Also, ask if they mentored him.
28) If one forgets their Potions Supplies, Professor Snivellus is charitable and you may take what you need from his personal supplies.
29) Attempt to brew Polyjuice Potion and Veritaserum for extra-credit. For the sake of commemorating Harry Potter, be sure to do this in the Second Floor Girls Bathroom.
30) If you are shy and embarrassed by your [CENSORED]'s size, you may feel free to ask Professor Snivellus if the Swelling Solution would assist your problem. You may also ask for some of his private stock.
31) Put your name of the the roster for Potions Tester when the Poisons Unit starts. This will gain you extra points.
32) During the Poisons Unit, always carry a Bezoar in your pocket on the day you need to submit antidotes.
33) Sniffing the Potions that one is brewing will give a intense chemical high. Feel free to exploit this. Professor Snivellus has a more laid back view of narcotics than the Muggle World.
34) On Valentine's Day, be sure to dye one's hair red and offer white lilies to Professor Snivellus. Even if one is male. This brings back wonderful nostalgia in Professor Snivellus, and is sure to make him happy. Also, declare you undying love for him.
35) It is perfectly acceptable to inquire as to the Professor's childhood and his father, Tobias Snape. You may also attempt to confirm rumors of the secret homosexual relationship between the Professor, and an exclusive all-male group labeled "The Marauders".
| Anaquine chapter 1 . 4/30/2015
It's so painful it's funny! Brilliantly done! Poor, poor Severus, oh the abuse!
| Brievel chapter 1 . 4/3/2015
And who compiled this list...Weasley and Weasley...
| CrimsonDomi chapter 1 . 1/30/2015
Is anyone really going to hand out this guide to first-years?
| Dontblink chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
Hehehe...which Hogwarts student came up with this? I want to say Weasley twins, but surely even they can't be that cruel.
Has to be a Slytherin that wants to get rid of some firsties. I can see the student population diminishing already.
My favorite was #22 and 17 :)
| Asyndetism chapter 1 . 12/2/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
| Alibi Nonsense chapter 1 . 9/30/2013
This is awesome. I can just imagine him bristling with rage!
| life is short so am I chapter 1 . 9/5/2013
Do a sequel! It would be sooooooo funny reading about first years asking Snape all these questions!