|Reviews for Popular Response|
| Farla chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
A drabble is exactly one hundred words. This is nearly two thousand words. Stop using it as if it's a synonym for "not extremely long". And never use it as a synonym for "something I wrote without really thinking and without the slightest bit of editing afterwards".
You do not need to say the story starts in the real world if the first line of your story has a character playing the videogame and the rest makes it abundantly clear it's taking place in the real world.
Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned.
Your dialogue itself can't be described as anything but ridiculous. I get the impression you think you're being clever. You're not.
Words like ninetales, as well as pokemon, are not proper nouns and should not be capitalized.
Also, stop putting notes in parenthesis, you're not writing a script, and spend the time making sure your one-shot is actually a story and not a very short string of loosely connected scenes
"which is sometimes seen as more of a magical girl-esque plot thanks to 13-15 year old fan girls "
Which in turn is vastly preferable to when it's handled as a fetish by some creep of a fanboy who has to bring up breast sizes each time.
| Johto Gunner chapter 1 . 12/12/2008
That stroy was a pretty good read. The transfromation was pretty good and the twist was also interesting. I like your Pokemorph parodies. They're funny... but a little confusing at times. I hope you update Pokemorphed soon.
Who-Ah! Gunner out.
| Foxyjosh chapter 1 . 12/12/2008
Well, I don't know of a pokemon that I like more than Ninetales.