|Reviews for The Road Ahead|
| OneThousandCuts chapter 4 . 5/24/2010
This fic is unique in that it's AU without being AU. I like how well you've followed the flow of the original storyline, while integrating more interaction between Yuna and Baralai. Yuna is in for one hell of an internal conflict if you aim to do what you told me you might. It already seems to be shaping up that way as it is. I look forward to watching it develop.
That being said, if you do, I assume that the story's category will change, no?
(I noticed that you borrowed a small amount of scenery from Parron's "Of Sun". I don't blame you. That fic has to be the best-executed Yunalai I've read to date. Of course, one of us could change that. Just saying.)
Now, the part I almost didn't write, because I hate pointing out flaws...Yevon knows I have plenty of my own...but, I wouldn't do it if I didn't like what I've been reading thus far.
There are three grammatical issues I noted while reading, mostly in the first chapter. First, beware of split infinitives. Secondly, I caught one double negative : "Baralai couldn't be no more than..." Last, I saw one instance of improper subject-verb agreement: "...when her deeds as High Summoner was...
Other than that, it looks great!
Hopefully you can keep the writer's block at bay for a while.
| jacob chapter 4 . 10/31/2009
what if there was a story where paine and rikku got a little gassy
| Angel Taisha chapter 4 . 10/13/2009
Awesome chapter! I felt like I was standing right there in all of the action! Such a great job; I can't wait for what's next!
| Lacuna The Lost chapter 4 . 10/11/2009
I agree with your openning a/n, that was a wickedly kick ass battle scene. It's a shame that it had to occur but at least both sides felt they were fighting for the good of not only all of the combatants, but all of Spira as well. I definitely have a lot of respect for Yuna for mercifully caring for Baralai at the end :)
| Angry Girl chapter 4 . 10/11/2009
Yikes that was some fight! I hope Yuna is ok though in this fight with Bahamut cause that won't be an easy one either at all. But how are they gonna deal? already so damn tired! Baralai... will he be wandering away? will we have scenes just from his eyes an the girls as well? cause if you keep things as they happen... like when they all shove guns in one anothers faces. Should be a big bang.
Will you be continuing after X-2 ends?
| Razer Athane chapter 4 . 10/11/2009
INTARNET FWIENDZ. XD
I love this chapter and hate it just as much as you. :3 XD
| Lacuna The Lost chapter 3 . 9/17/2009
The more I read this story the more I love the Yunalai pairing. You're making me a believer :)
The scene with the Garmet Grid made me smile. Baralai would definitely be an excellent White Mage with his gentle demeanor. His caring heart and natural charm have me totally in love with him :)
| Angel Taisha chapter 3 . 8/23/2009
Awesome fic so far! Can't wait to read more.
| Razer Athane chapter 3 . 8/6/2009
Sorry for the delay. The top secret oneshot (your one) is fine, I just read through it -thumbs up-. Just one thing, I noticed you put "Co.." in it. Don't abbreviate, use "Company." instead.
And onto this one. The final edit is fine, so relax. But what I love about your writing is how you actually include the dialogue from the game, EVERY TIME. I don't do that in any of my works consistently, so kudos to you on that.
‘Is this considered a strip search?’ Yuna could only blush and laugh at the thought. - I forgot about this XD
The light finally gave away to reveal Paine in the last thing Baralai ever, ever expected her to wear. In this lifetime. - I also forgot about this part XDXDXDXD
So yeah. About time I faved this I think. XD
| Angry Girl chapter 3 . 7/31/2009
Yay! I blinked when I saw this chapter but then started a reading, it was very good! I loved how some things stayed the same but you altered others! Baralai trying to the dresphere was rather amusing, but it is a good thing that they alter to personalities and gender or else... well yeah. I can see someone getting beaten up with his rather sharp staff.
I like how Yuna and Baralai both get a long with quiet ease, how he revealed his teasing side to her, with Yuna reacting in a very Yuna like way, I do love how you are keeping her as she is, the young woman who has had so much duty on her shoulders who doesn't really know how to have fun and live for her. I really enjoyed the group scene and Rikku's acceptence of him at the end.
Brother was amusing as well haha. Yuna is so oblivious when it comes to him lol though it's something I'd never really consider either.
Baralai having more happy thoughts, rather then revengeful ones makes my heart rather happy, I am after all rather worried about Shuyin. Great update! :-D
| Lacuna The Lost chapter 2 . 6/16/2009
Yunalai seems like an interesting pairing. Personally I like PaineBaralai but Yunalai is a good pairing as well :)
I love how you guys have incorporated the growing feelings between Yuna and Baralai throughout the plot of FFX-2. I'm interested to see how they develope over the course of the story and how they might effect the outcome.
This is an excellent collaboration. You two seem to work well together without the issue of clashing styles getting in the way. That's difficult to achieve so I'd like to congratulate you guys :)
| Angry Girl chapter 2 . 2/15/2009
This is interesting! will you be having things go as they do in the game? with him being possesed or will you change things slightly? I am curious as to when the trust between them is formed... will she be spending more time in Bevelle after this since they were the ones who were given the sphere?
Rikku reminding him of Gippal made me smile, but then I love those two together as they make me laugh.
I liked both of thier pov's Baralai being asleep and then 'motherhenned' was amusing as well. I was wary of the 'New Yevon' but in reality neither were perfect the Youth league just wanted to charge ahead and destroy all signs of past not thinking of those struggling, but some in the New Yevon would probably want things to go slow. It's oh so complicated.
It would help if they were given more information. I feel sorry for Baralai he really is in a case of confusion and emotions... so much going on his own. Will they be bonding?
Yuna's status also is an interesting topic. Belclem when he says 'summoners are useless' and 'lets burn down the temple' also his 'she can't summon so her name is invalid' things kinda irk me as yes his words are true but she and her guardians are the reason Sin is gone when people just dismiss things so easily it annoys me 'my lady' is ok and Yuna doesn't really like all the attention I know. But I just think respecting the past is a wise thing to do.
Will Leblanc be in the next chapter? *winces* that woman gives me a headache.
Sorry for this ramble review! haha *alerts*
| Golden Mage of The Cosmic Moon chapter 2 . 2/7/2009
Beautiful and well written. I'm really starting to get into this story. I have to give you complimence on the OC, Grand-father Quinn is hilarious yet very sweet and caring. I can't wait for the tension to really start heating up between Baralai and "Empress Yunie" (My little nickname 4 her, b/c she's my favorite:) Anyways, the chapter was great, Can't wait for the next one! bye!
| TeaC0sy chapter 2 . 1/14/2009
I'm also loving the final two lines X]. Grandfather Quinn seems so very cute, in that grandfather-y way haha. Certainly likeable. Nice update! :)
| Razer Athane chapter 2 . 1/12/2009
I love your last two lines. Epic :P