|Reviews for Fly|
| A chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
That was a intresting idea. I feel so bad for Misha, now that her parents are dead. I think that becoming a witch will let her know that her parents wouldve been proud. I think that the pale, mysterious girl will come in again soon!
Now for the flaws. You have great pitiental, but can I please be honest? Your grammar is TERRIBLE. Luckily, that can be fixed. Include periods often, avoid run-on sentences, and use a dictionary for any tricky words. Another problem: Half the time I feel like Im interviewing you! Use captivating words. Instead of, " I ran into the forest" say, " I dashed into the forest, breathing hard."
| G chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
First the good stuff!
The plot is promising, and interesting. I'd like to see how you develop Misha's character, and I like how she's literally flying away.
There are some things you need to fix. I get that this fic is older but that's no excuse for bad grammar! :) First off, you have lots of run on sentences - you need more punctuation! Mix it up with periods, exclamation marks and different sentence lengths, and use a comma to seperate ideas. Spelling - Try spell check or a beta ;)
There were just two major things I noticed:
Continuacy. Misha saw a girl, but later she becomes an old woman :0
Timing: I don't think her parents would have had time to write her that note :\
I hope I wasn'g harsh or anything! I'm just giving advice, and hope you use it in the future. Keep writing!
| Taisi chapter 1 . 3/31/2009
Just so you know, there's a site called "fictionpress", where you could post your original stories. Ahh, sorry if you already knew though.
| appa-appa-away chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
alright, i usually only read stuff from Avatar: the last airbender, so this is a change for me.
Yes, i have seen the movie.
ok, where to start. this has a good story line, i can see that coming. the story has the potential to go quite a long way. my question; are you the type of person who accepts criticism? i could well help you get this story a bit more on the ball. i'm sorry, but your punctuation is shocking. everything else is well in tact, just that, and i know from experience that bad punctuation is a readers repellent. don't worry, we all start off really bad. is this your first fic?
if you want, i could help beta your work. you let me know, cuz i'm really good when it comes to punctuation. if you'd rather not, and you don't want my criticism, also let me know and i'll keep clear. ;)
other than that, i think you've got a great start to the story. my only advice, explain Misha's character, her connection to her parents, what they were like, what her neighbour is like, etc. it's very rushed.
great job and keep it up.