Reviews for The Passage
MontyPythonFan chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
Fantastic. Just fantastic :-D

Jess

x
JDelany chapter 1 . 2/11/2009
.god.

Really I absolutly love this story. I love your style, the words you use to create an absolutly magnificent atmosphere. It's really one of the best stories I've ever read.

Greetings

Joanne Delany
penName111 chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
Wow
Nakhti chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
That's better! Re-reading it without that bit doesn't feel like there's a gap, which proves it didn't really need to be there. I think it makes his decision to lift his head up and go on seem that much more stoical, determined, and somewhat pointless/desperate, which all just adds to the poignancy.

Thanks for taking my opinion into account - I do have a lot of em going for free! lol

Hope to read more by you soon :-)

Nax
Silverspoon chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
Hi all, I have edited out the piece at the end (regarding Alex and Jonathan) as I think that Nakhti's criticism made sense, so I hope you all like it with that small paragraph omitted. x
Nakhti chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
In response to your question, I'm not sure any mention of the book is neccessary at all. In fact I think it detracts from the emotion.

The way I see the scene, Rick has no inkling that Evy might be brought back, hence his single-minded determination to get Imhotep, with no thought to his own safety. He doesn't care anymore, because he thinks he's lost his main reason for living. If he didn't believe this, I don't think the scene where he walks through the passage to confront Imhotep would have been so powerful.

Besides, when Evy calls out to him, he looks genuinely shocked, as if the possibility of seeing her again had never occurred to him. Therefore I think it's best to keep what Jon and Alex are planning out of Rick's head, and leave this fic from his POV.
Izzi Creo chapter 1 . 12/18/2008
That was relaly good :)

Hope to read more from you soon!

DI. Samantha Hunter
Nakhti chapter 1 . 12/18/2008
Let me add my voice to the general clamour - this was really good.

It was the inserted flashbacks that did it for me. You picked just the right ones to illustrate all the emotions he must have been going through, and they were pitched so perfectly, just the right length and amount of description. It really added an emotional dimension to the piece. I loved the images of Evy showing him their son for the first time, of them moving house, of him proposing - somehow the reverse chronological order also seemed to add to the emotion, as if he's remembering the important highlights of their relationship starting with the most recent memories. And inserting the lines from his wedding vows were just the final tear jerker. I've never read a fic that encapsulated so much about their relationship in so few words.

But because I'm not normally a gushy reviewer I have to balance all the above with a criticism: why did you put in the itallicised section showing Jon and Alex outside? I'm not sure what it added, whether you wanted us to think Rick could hear them, or just remind us that she's not gone forever. Either way, it was a very random thing to put at the end, and the switch in point of view detracted from the emotion of Ricks perspective. I suggest you delete it and read the fic again without, then you'll see how unnecessary it is.
Evelyn Valerious chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
Oh wow. This was absolutely wonderful. Though others have written their own versions of this scene over the years, I must say that yours is the best that I have read.

I also am amazed that this is the first thing you have submitted. Normally you can tell, but your work is amazing. I look forward to reading anything else you choose to post.
Junesse chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
Thank you so much for writing this!

This was EXACTLY what was missing in the film and you, sweetie, nailed it!

Congratulations, it is a really beautiful and extremely well written fic!

Junesse

X
Jac Danvers chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
Oh my goodness this is absolutely fabulous! For a first story, I think you've done an excellant job. You captured the emotions well, kept everyone in character, and just done an all around lovely job. Fantastic, fantastic work- I hope to see more from you soon!
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