Reviews for Demon Chronicles
Tsuki6047 chapter 1 . 3/24/2011
Ohh awesome :D but i do want to leave an OC XD

Mamodo: Kiyomi

Age: 13

Personality: Kind, Gental, Shy, Calm, Wise, Scared, Nervous

Partner: Saki

Age: 14

Personality: Outgoing, Cocky, Nice, Sarcastic

Gender: Female both

Skill: Ice/Snow


White short hair

Crystal blue eyes

pale skin.

wears a longsleeve baby blue shirt that droops on her shoulder and the sleeves cover her hands. She also weras white capris and baby blue slippers. Light blue book.

Saki has short red hair, purple eyes, pale skin, freckles along her nose. Whears light yellow tank top jean capris and yellow slippers.

Past: Goes back to mamodo world saving her brother she always runs away from her battles and she hated hurting people. there was one time she was brave and that was when she tried saving her brother, she got infront of a spell that would kill them both. Her book owner threw her book into the large blast and it sent her back to the mamodo world. She was trying to protect her then the brother's book owner did the same thing.

Ok :) anyway great story i like it. I hope Kiyomi and Saki show up some time _
LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr chapter 13 . 3/22/2011
Welcome back! I'm glad you updated I missed this story : )Awesome chapter! The bowling game sounded fun poor Hayate looks like they've found a game he's not completely awesome at haha Looks like things are about to get really interesting. It seems Hayate's got quite the reputation back in the mamodo world. I have a feeling Kaori is right in thinking it's not a good reputation lol ; ) I can't wait to see what happens next!

Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _
Eagle Eye Assassin chapter 1 . 10/5/2010
Mamodo: Akio Claw

Gender: Male

Age: 8 and a half

Image & description: Lots of Spiky yellow hair, barely 4 feet tall, light skin, spring green eyes with black lines running down from them. Wears a white t-shirt, and a baggy red hooded jacket with black stripes on, (he wears this over the t-shirt but leaves the zipper open so you can see it). has dark blue pants and white sneakers with golden shoelaces. He has a little brown knapsack & can pull anything out of it.

Personality: kind, good hearted, smart.

Book: Ivory

Power: Metal & Magnetism

Partner: Kade Black

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Image & description: Shaggy black hair with light blue streaks, light skin, purple eyes, red sweatshirt, black jeans, tan shoes.

Personality: Smart kind, martials master at several martial arts.


Aikusen: Fires a white beam of metallic energy from his mouth. (Attack)

Jikaruda: A greyish-white glow surrounds Akio's hands & allows him to move metal objects, as if he were using telekineses.

Aikushield: Creates a big silver circular shield with prongs sticking out of it, this shield can divert attacks that come in contact with it. (Defense)

Aikuruga: A more powerful Aikusen spell, but rainbow coloured. (Attack)

Mikuzeron: Akio's body becomes covered in a white metallic aura, making him more swift & impervious to damage. (Assist)
LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr chapter 12 . 8/15/2010
I'm glad to hear you're having fun writing Kai X ) I love how you have his personality clash with Hayate's it's really funny : ) I'm glad Kaori and Hayate are feelling better hopefully their wounds will heal soon. Poor Kaori she's must be feeling so bad I'm glad Hayate was able to cheer her up. Loved the mention of Leon I really can't wait to see how you write him. X D I look forward to seeing what happens next!

Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _

If you need any other OCs, just let me know! ; )
Windraider chapter 12 . 8/15/2010
Good to hear from you after such a long time.

Anyway, this chapter wasn't as interesting as your previous ones, but it did open up a pathway for more options in the future.

I'm guessing that in the next chapters, they would do private eye stuff and some investigating as they try to look for clues, because that's pretty much the only thing they can do right now, unless some stupid idiot just pops up and says, go there.

Speaking of which, I believe you should know that a battle is the best way to bring people together.

Oh and lastly, about Azure, he's more carefree than that, he is sharp and understanding, but he doesn't really care that much about others except himself and Rika.

It just feels a bit OOC that he's trying to offer some help.

Oh and 1 last question. I recently created 3 more characters, I was just wondering which one's I've sent so far.

Because I've been busy submitting them recently, and thus I kind of lost track of the characters I've submitted.
BetaWriter chapter 11 . 7/20/2010
I just realised that the first pair i sent you were completely useless, so here's a more useful pair:


Name: Jhouru

Age: 8

Gender: Male

Apperence: messy White hair, brown eyes, blue hoodie (which he never takes off), baggy black pants and sneakers

Personality: Serious, Uncaring, doesn't really react with other people, not very trusting, smart

Book Color: Gray-ish White

Elements: Mirrors

Side: Neutral


Name: Chikushou

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Apperence: spikey brown hair, red eyes, white vest with a blue shirt, brown pants, black shoes.

Personality: Uncaring/quite, but open, friendly, and kind to people he trusts.

Ablities: He can psychiclly know someone's personality and goals, and he knows how to use a sword with great skill.


Shardar - Shoots out three shards

Miiruk - Places a mirror wherever Chikushou wants, multiple can be made

Sodo Miiruk - 2nd lvl Miiruk, absorbs attacks and shoots out other 2nd lvl Miiruk's

Hunta Shardar - 2nd lvl Shardar, bigger, targeting, unlimited

Waru Miiruk - Covers an area with a dome of 1st & 2nd lvl mirrors

Gigan Miiruk - 3rd lvl Miiruk, absorbs ultimate’s

Shardar Sirus - 3rd lvl Shardar, an orb that reflects attacks in any direction, breaks and unleashes shardar’s in every direction on contact, any size

Magi Miiruk - surrounds the two with four, invisible 2nd lvl mirrors

Knizenshoruu - Covers in armor of mirrors. Changes effects of spells

Deus Shardar - 4th lvl Shardar, unleashes a hail of sword shaped shards

Torazen Deus Miiruk - Traps enemy in a mirror, then launches a mirror dragon which unleashes 4th lvl Shardar's on impact (Ultimate)

Rabeaga Shardar - 5th lvl Shardar, fires from hand a beam of microscopic crystalites that both damage an opponent and make any solid a reflective surface

Shin Shardar - 6th lvl Shardar, huge crystal stalagmites cover a large radius

Spells(Knizenshoruu form):

Shardar - gives him a sword

Miiruk - gives him a shield

Sodo Miiruk - 2nd lvl Miiruk, gives a shield and sword that reflects spells

Hunta Shardar - 2nd lvl Shardar, gives a lance that reflects spells

Waru Miiruk - creates a horse with a horn that can pierce any defence spell

Gigan Miiruk - 3rd lvl Miiruk, creates a knight, equiped with a shield and sword

Shardar Sirus - 3rd lvl Shardar, gives him a mace that can change into a flail

Magi Miiruk - same effect

Knizenshoruu - undo's all effects

Deus Shardar - gives him an unlimited amount of double sided, throwing axes

Torazen Deus Miiruk - Unleashes a giant knight, with a shield and changing weapon(ex. sword, lance, axe), that crushes any enemies (Ultimate)

Rabeaga Shardar - 5th lvl shardar, creates a cannon that fires (regular) 3rd lvl shardar's

Shin Shardar - same effect
Windraider chapter 11 . 7/20/2010
O.O what a tragic ending.

Come to think of it, so far you've only used 3 characters right?

Will that be enough to actually go after that Oracle?

I mean it's super overkill to say just two teams wipe out an entire evil organzation right?

I mean Rika and Azure hasn't even actually joined them or anything.

And Kai and Hayate are the only ones fighting.
LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr chapter 11 . 7/20/2010
That was awesome! I loved this chapter! The fights were so cool! Aw Hayate's such a sweetie looking out for Kaori. I was proud of Haley skipping school to check up on her friend : ) Hayate's new spell rocks! Poor Kaori having to fight Hikari that had to be tough. I liked Kai and Haley's entrance X ) My favorite part was the "Ginger!" I couldn't stop smiling lol Wow that bad guy of yours once again proves how truly evil she is. I can't wait to see what happens next! X D

Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _
thatguy3331 chapter 10 . 7/17/2010
I finally caught up! anyway i loved this chapter, it had interesting written all over! if i were to guess who abducted Kaori's sister, i'd say it was the gang from earlier, looking forward to the next chapter!
LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr chapter 10 . 7/17/2010
Great chapter! I liked how Rika returned the favor and saved Kaori that was cool X ) I love how you write Kai and Haley especially Kai's protectiveness it's so cute : ) The way you have Kai not really liking Hayate is pretty funny too lol Uh oh the bad guys have made their move! Poor Hikari and Shiro! Aw man I see a sibling fight in the future how is Kaori gonna react to that? Man that Oracle is bad news I wonder what she has against Hayate. Oh well guess we'll find out next chapter I can't wait to see what happens next! X D

Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _
Windraider chapter 10 . 7/17/2010
Not much action this chapter. But thats okay if your going to make an action filled one next chapter.

Say mind if I send you some more characters?
thatguy3331 chapter 3 . 7/16/2010
I like how the story is going sofar, can't wait to see the rest of it! heres my OC submission:

Mamodo: Jyan


age: 8

book color blue

appearance: black messy hair, brown eyes black shirt with orange on the tips of his sleeves and in a line going down his shirt. blue shorts and brown shoes that look like zatch's

Personality: He's higly mischevious, a clever prankster and a smartmouth, though he has a kind personality. he is hardly serious about anything and always makes a joke out of everything. however he can be serious if the threat is big enough for it and he is never willing to abandon also is very knowledgeful about technology, computers in general and also has a habit of breaking the fourth wall(wether or not you want to use that trait is up to you)

Human: Josh Luther

age: 14/15

appearance:brown hair, brown eyes, yellow t shirt with red stripe in middle, jeans and white shoes

personality: love peace and quiet though ever since he got stuck with Jyan those things were quickly taken away from him. he is a pretty average guy in general, the only thing he has that seperates him from the others is his ability to almost accurately tell what a person is feeling or thinking by looking into their eyes. he is a calm person in general but can lose it when dealing with stupidity. he and Jyan get along very poorly , getting into both pyhsical and verbal fights, though they at the very least have a good amount of respect and trust for each other and Josh is willing to go to great leantghs to keep Jyan's book intact, no matter what.


Chikeru: a blast of blue/yellow chi energy.

Rachishiru: reflective barrier

Chimardo: creates a vortex on any flat surface that sucks in mamodos, also if two vortexes are created, it can be used to sent long ranged spells from one place to another.

Gaou chikelga: Jyan's most powerful spell, a giant wolf beast with huge claws is fired to ram, slash or devour target. like Zatch's baou, it has a subconsious of its own and will sometimes appear to Jyan in dreams of when he has blackouts.

Chikelga: more focused and powerful version of Chikeru

Gaou kloruku: Big clawed gloves and shoes made out of gaou's aura forms onto Jyan. the shoes increase his speed while the gloves increase hand power, and the claws can cut through almost anything.

crytalas chikelga: crystal like versions of aura are summoned from the earth to form as a sheild, staircase, crystal lances, and etc. however, even though the spell requires the users thoughts, Jyan is unable to think of how he wants to use the crystals since like most spells he temporarally goes unconsious, so he has to decide how to use them before the spell is cast. the crystals can also multiply the power of Jyan's other spells by having the spell go through the crytals first

*if you need more spells let me know

Battle style: the two don't have a real battle style to call their own, and mostly wing it depending on the situation, however Josh as developed a ability similar to apollo's where he can almost accurately tell what a spell does, and is able to find a way to dodge or counter it. and Jyan has his mamodo strengh, and is able to sense a mamodo's presence within a 3 to 5 mile radiaus.

please let me know if you have any questionsor need anymore information!
Windraider chapter 9 . 7/7/2010
Don't worry, you did them justice!

Hell in fact I was kind of hoping someone would write Rika like this. Hell in fact even I have some trouble writing her like this.

I was kind of hoping that people would write her in such a manner.

And the way you wrote Azure was pretty good, but do note that when he's around other people, he also acts very timid and have just as much trouble interacting with them like her.

Oh yeah and on a side note.

Do you have any mamodos who is good or neutral whose power is speed or bombardment?
LaZy-RaIn-DaNcEr chapter 9 . 7/7/2010
Awesome chapter! I loved the flashback you did Haley and Kai's meeting perfectly X ) Hayate is such a flirt lol The part where the school girls were admiring Kai was hilarious haha I also loved the last bit with the teasing between Kaori and Hayate about being 'partners' lol Uh oh looks like Kaori's in trouble. I can't wait to see what happens next! X D

Keep up the good work! Update Soon Please! _

Don't worry I haven't forgotten about Kaori and Hayate in my story. I plan to use them as soon as I get the chance. I already have a vague idea of how I can introduce them : ) If you ever need any more OCs from me, just let me know! -
BetaWriter chapter 8 . 5/18/2010
Alright, nice fight. Here's an OC:

Human: Cherril

Age: 19

Gender: Female

Appearance: Sun hat, gentle green eyes, long auburn hair, bright yellow sun dress, white stockings, red heels.

Personality: Kind, compassionate, always willing to help. She really doesn’t stand up for herself, and can also be kinda shy

Other: She gets embarrassed easily. Will basically do anything that looks like fun, just as long as it doesn‘t hurt anybody.

Mamodo/Demon: Kagu Nighthawk

Age: 9

Gender: Male

Appearance: Red beret, tilted to the side, green-black hair, blue eyes, light blue t-shirt, brown leather vest (always open), black shorts, red and black shoes

Personality: Very nice, kind, always tries to end conflicts between friends. Always tries to express himself and tries to stand out of the crowd.

Other: Girls always seem his attracted to him, weather it’s mamodo girls thinking he’s cute, or teenage girls wanting to gather around him.

Element: Breezes

Book Color: Sea-foam Green

Side: Good

Aletti - Summons a gentle, turquoise-tinted breeze from his hand that calms down the enemy and puts them off guard

Feiruk Aletti - A gentle, blue-tinted breeze emits from his back, allowing him to fly

Teo Aletti - Summons a powerful, red-tinted breeze from his hand that cuts through spells, but doesn’t hurt enemies

Aletti Riruga - Summons a stronger, purple-tinted breeze from both hands that slows the enemies movements

Oruga Aletti - Summons a spiraling, green-tinted breeze from his hand that puts the enemy asleep

Aletti Jiorei - Summons a gentle, pink-tinted breeze that wraps around any injuries and heals them

Gigano Aletti - Summons a large yellow-tinted breeze in the shape of a bird that is strong enough to shoot enemies spells back at them

Migura Ruatsu Aletti - Summons a large angel that he controls, which is able to control the wind (Ultimate)

Dika Aletti - Summons a large, black-shaded breeze from his hand strong enough to pick the enemies up
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