Reviews for New Beginning
monkey1212 chapter 2 . 4/19/2009
Wow! I can't believe I waited so long to get around to reading this. I really like where you can go with this and your ideas that you mentioned at the beginning. I really, really hope you come back and work on this. And Dark Hero of course. Looking forward to reading more.
Saismaat chapter 2 . 2/14/2009
Nicely done! “I’d done more for them by hiding them in the cave and all the shit that had lead up to that than I’d ever done for anyone else. And considering how no one had ever stuck their neck out that far for me before, I figured it had been more than they deserved.”

I like the crazed equivalency he’s drawing between the rest of the world and Jack and Abu.

“None of it mattered, only the code; survive by any means necessary.”

Is that his code? I didn’t get that vibe from the way he had so much derision for the similar ethos he ascribes to the mercs.

“There was no reason for me to play the martyr, and no reason for me to feel bad about it.”

Nice. I’d lose the comma.

“The important thing was I’d found something in the dark just like Carolyn. I’d found Jack. Now the question was what to do with her?”


co-pilots seat co-pilot’s seat

“The only difference was her path to survival hadn’t turned her into a psychotic killer like mine had. She still cared about shit. I wanted to keep it that way. I was going to do whatever I had to to make sure that light in her eyes wasn’t extinguished.”

I love all of that but the but the last sentence. I would have ended with way. If not, “I had to do” not “to to”.

“I didn’t move, hardly dared to breathe until I knew she was asleep. This was not a situation I was prepared to handle.”

Oh that’s great.

The next chapter is good, though I almost think Jack has too much insight. The thing about transference . . . maybe if she’d put it in terms of subbing or standing end, but transference is a pretty sophisticated concept. The thing about her not being pissed if he’d abandoned her – that also seems too mature.

Good fun!
Riddick's Sita chapter 2 . 2/4/2009
I want more please...I love the idea of mini-Riddick
Riddicks-gurl1988 chapter 2 . 1/28/2009
Awesome chapter...I always wondered why Jack was on that flight by herself to begin with...Sorry that you have so much that needs to be done, but who does have time for all the things that they like to do all the time in this day and age...So when you get the time don't for get about us Riddick Lovers ;) Have Fun in Amsterdam
LiasonFan2 chapter 1 . 12/21/2008
Such a different take you have written and great insight into what Riddick was thinking and feeling.. Hope you update soon
Saismaat chapter 1 . 12/21/2008
What a treat as I'm waiting to yank my husband out of bed on this beautiful day in the island! I particularly liked "He’d found something in the dark just like her. He’d found Jack. Now the question was what to do with her?" That really puts its thumb on something fundamental. Do you universalize from your triumph over death to being a world hero, or do you attach to the object? A struggle we've seen again and again.

I'm always itching to hone down about a third of your sentences, viz "He’d make it quick and painless, but he’d do it nonetheless to ensure his own survival." I would have cast as "He’d make it quick and painless, but he’d do it."

Funny how Riddick accellerates from undercover/cross dresser to transexual.

Very nice.
RiddickFan chapter 1 . 12/21/2008
This is nice as it is. Hopefully you can continue on.