|Reviews for Break Away Part I|
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 3 . 9/8
Alpha Centauri is a very cool canon. This story is well written, but I didn't enjoy reading it, mostly because of Ashaandi.
You do a good job painting Ashaandi as a truly despicable character, but not a very interesting one. Alpha Centauri certainly has room for horrible characters, but his viciousness feels gratuitous. And while this is more personal, he feels implausible. You did manage to get a reaction from me in hoping that his faction would fail. The goal for his faction is not very philosophically interesting to me.
One typo: “sporting a number of hideous, leering gargoyles on it's front face.” “its”
I did like the discussion with the betrayed Cho.
The description of Ashaandi's decadent lair was also nicely done.
Honshu's part was much more interesting. He's not someone I'd agree with in the slightest, but he is much more relateable. His feelings about the direction the Spartan Federation is taking are interesting and definitely my favourite part of this story.
| Bobohatta chapter 2 . 10/6/2010
That's definitly the best SMAC fiction I've seen so far, even better than the official novels. I want to see more!
And include Zakharov please, he's my favorite!
| Fridge chapter 3 . 5/14/2010
Wow this is wonderfully written. Please keep writing. There character and plot development, the civil unrest, its all so beautifully done. It the occasional fic like this that makes this site great. I hope you update until completion.
| RMcD94 chapter 3 . 1/1/2010
| ShadowAI chapter 3 . 2/16/2009
Hi sorry for the long break. Umm without going into details college started off rather hectically. I took the time to finish the last chapter of your story: wow. As I was mulling over my review it came to me that your story reminds me of some of Tom Clancy's earlier works: the political games, multiple viewpoints, and the whole military aspect of it (without going over the top and back like Ringo does) which makes it an A in my book (hell not to mention this is SMAC which makes it even that much more epic.)
In all fairness I don't think I can even come up with a list of things to really improve upon, the storyline is fluid and interesting, grammar doesn't have any glaring errors, Characters are well thought out and interesting, and I'm kinda looking forward to seeing where this tale will go.
There are things I can throw my opinion on, but they aren't critical. That being said that's my 'review' on your story. If you still would like me to beta (again sorry about the long break, I can hold a better schedule now) I would be honored to help you out.