Reviews for Promise on the Festival Night
Guest chapter 19 . 1/16
This wasn’t that great.
Japenglish stands out painfully. Grammar and spelling are a given. Lucy herself is an irredeemable psycho (which tbf is canon I guess). Kouta is essentially a nonperson (again that one fits though). There are many many many many many many parts that are just done poorly.
But I really love it. It’s just that…. For a 2009 fanfiction about a subpar anime, it’s much better than one would expect. Not as good as you would like. But still it has several high points.
Guest chapter 12 . 12/15/2021
Wait! Lucy said the people she robs, she kills in a manner that makes it look like assault. In this timeline she's not even actively trying to kill as many people as possible; unless she just didn't mention it there should be no reason these many brain aneuryisms are connected to her.
She only uses brain aneuryisms when working for Tenzo so it doesn't look like assassination. Is this a plothole?
Guest chapter 19 . 12/8/2021
Damn what an ending. I'll confess Kouta got over the revelation a little too quickly. Not impossibly quickly, but she told she'd killed his dad. I feel if you left that part out it'd have felt more believable since Lucy's guilt for this is kinda underveloped in this fic anyway. Why confess it when you barely feel bad about it?

The rest is pretty good, was a good read! Wonder what the child will be though, another fertile Diclonius or a Silpelit (she touched Kouta with her vectors months prior to conception, so it'd be reasonable to assume his genes got mutated). If it's a Silpelit, Kouta's likely gonna die when the kid is three unless Lucy pacifies or kills her. A fertile Diclonius should be a-OK since Lucy only got her powers when she was old enough to understand what it means.
Guest chapter 18 . 12/8/2021
Well the detective did bring down Tenzo in a way
Guest chapter 16 . 12/8/2021
Damn it Tenzo you've ruined it
Guest chapter 12 . 12/8/2021
Now I wonder how much of the canon changes
Since Lucy hasn't cut all ties to humanity by slaughtering Kouta's family there's no reason to listen to the DNA voice and spread the diclonius genes; in canon she did it under the Voice's guidance, but since she still has Kouta I don't see the point of trying to destroy humanity.
There should either be zero or very few silpelits, which drastically changes the story. Too few silpelits means no or a very small DRI, but it still exists seemingly the same. Why is that so? Why would she alert the public to the existance of horned girls if she wanted to remain hidden? Before it was to kill off as many people as possible to make her own place but that's not a motivator anymore.
Guest chapter 10 . 12/8/2021
Jeeeeezus... poor dad. Lucy's so horrible, and she thinks humans are monsters lol
Guest chapter 9 . 12/8/2021
Maaaan what a poor fool
That said, isn't she gonna need the dude in the future? If the guy shows up for one evening and just disappears that'd be weird
Guest chapter 8 . 12/7/2021
I like how you try and incorporate Koutas dad as a real obstactle, that said I dunno if this is worth the effort. Elfen Lied is full of contrivances like Kouta and Yuka just randomly finding Nyu and never calling authorities or Lucy's mother supposedly looking for Lucy for years even though Lucy as a baby should've been easy to find or all the amnesia and split personalities.
I feel like Kouta's dad being unconcerned about another child while on a vacation, even a weird super rich one, breaks the story less than a concerned dad being tricked by a red haired random dude pretending to be Lucy's dad and a mighty business man.

Unless that storyline is gonna end with Lucy losing it and going on a rampage, then that might be a bit of an unnecessary plot stretch just to get there.
Guest chapter 7 . 12/7/2021
By the way," the foolish dad asked "why are you wearing a hat indoors?"
*instantly decapitated*
For real, Lucy will be the type of wife who'll not get on well with in-laws
Guest chapter 6 . 12/7/2021
About time the dad started to get suspicious. It's great so far.
Guest chapter 5 . 12/7/2021
Man this chapter was sweet and, especially by the end, really gave me the creeps. Lucy thinks so much like an adult that being in love with a kid weirds you out as you read; but that just speaks to the writing, though Lucy might think a little too much like an adult not like a child
Guest chapter 4 . 12/7/2021
I really like how dark Lucy's thoughts are towards Kouta's family. Really contrasts it with Nyuu who was loved by everyone around her and loved them back.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/7/2021
One plothole I'd like to point out is Lucy's real name is Kaede. "Lucy" is the name given to her by the institution and likely a referance the "Lucy" the bones of an ancient homonid and ancestor of homo sapiens found in Ethiopia.

There's no way she'd refer to herself as Lucy. Otherwise still great, the contrast between the crazy killer and crushing child.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/7/2021
This was a good first chapter; plausible what if scenario, everyone's in character, good start
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