Reviews for Don't Make This Mistake
mdauben chapter 3 . 4/19/2011
An interesting story concept but it pretty much lacks any coherent plot development or characterization. I'd say you really need a *significantly* more fleshed out story to do the idea justice.
kori-lyn21 chapter 3 . 3/8/2010
Ah! It's so short! I swear if you woulda wrote more this could have been like my favorite storyon here... I love it!
You Know Who chapter 3 . 9/10/2009
Yeh, he does have some strong thighs!
stormdog11 chapter 2 . 8/28/2009

really good
HMMadewell chapter 2 . 7/3/2009
I love that episode! And the Virginia/Ginerva mistake is the perfect mistake!
Robin chapter 1 . 7/2/2009
I think this is a pretty good story. If it were a 1 out of 5 rating (1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest, I'd give it a 4.5)

Nice short story. Good job!
en extase chapter 2 . 4/13/2009
I doubt your sincerity when you say you want to improve. You wrote 590 words for two chapters. The majority of writers write ten times that for a _single_ chapter. When you write that little and expect reviews, it's an insult to even semi-serious writers.

The premise of your blurb itself is deeply flawed and insipid. It's like you transcribed a soap opera you watched into Harry Potter. It evokes the Sex and the City-esque sitcom where the two female characters embrace, chat, then get involved in drama, which while it may work on the screen for some audiences, works for no audience at all on paper.

Somehow, you manage to completely butcher Ginny's character in less than a thousand words. She declares her love for Dean in the first couple sentences, then refuses to give him her hand in marriage in the next few hundred.

You give a flimsy reason, that he mistook her name. Which begs an even bigger question: you can't take her seriously as a character because she evidently fell in love with someone who didn't even know her name. What the hell?

In the soap operas, they milk drama by having some tragic misunderstanding, then inflate the endless angst. These misunderstandings are usually dramatic: someone cheats on someone else, someone has a horrible secret, someone was abused in youth.

Your misunderstanding, Dean mangling her name is comedy. If that's your intent, well done, but you labeled this story Romance/Drama, so you missed the mark there.

Secondly, your writing is devoid of any description, and perhaps that suits this story. It doesn't need any. It doesn't need magic. It doesn't need to be Harry Potter.

I encourage you to rethink this and come up with a meaningful plot.

In summary: In three minutes I just wrote a review longer than your entire fic. That's the problem.
en extase chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
You made a mistake yourself in writing this.
Sakura Lisel chapter 2 . 4/8/2009
Aw... That's not fair. Just because he gets her first name, she's going to dump their five year happy in love relationship? She's just proving Hermoine right because she's letting one little mistake get to her, compared to everything else the two of them have been through in the last five years?
Plumcherries2 chapter 1 . 12/23/2008