Reviews for FireStorm
EnnaGirl chapter 1 . 9/14/2011
BEFORE I read this story, I just need to clarify...

Your profile states that this story is based off another... Did that other story possess the Floppy Floppy Scarecrow nursery rhyme? Because I am hunting for that story in particular.

If it was originally from your story, then I will reread it and praise you on your work for delivering lines that stuck so well - If it was from the other story, I really would like a link, though I will come back and read this one.

I do remember the other story being (very sadly) unfinished, but... well, I don't know.

Thanks so much, Enna Scarlett Rose
Yoholic chapter 1 . 5/3/2011
This has been one of the most intense stories i have ever read

I hope you find it within yourself to start and finish warfare
Goldrune09 chapter 6 . 5/2/2011 really enjoy shitting all over poor naruto don't you...the fic 'The REAL 5th Kokage' is a lot better in over-all presentation and lack of confusion as to whats going on in the story.
Heteroclite chapter 9 . 4/20/2011
Interesting story, a little bit confusing in places but very inventive and enjoyable.

Diablo Inferno chapter 4 . 7/27/2010
Ok...I have to Naruto psychotic?
Diablo Inferno chapter 1 . 7/27/2010
Awwww I thought you would let Hayate survive. Even with his minimal screen time, he was still one of my favorite characters. Interesting storyline, I look forward to continued reading.
justaddwater chapter 9 . 6/11/2010
Holy hell that was an incredible read. I eagerly await your next Naruto fanfic.
Demeterr chapter 9 . 4/19/2010
O wow this is epic, and the plotlines to the basic plot for the potential sequels sounds interesting.
mangafilipina chapter 9 . 4/9/2010
After reading "Chakra and Magic", I just had to read another one of your stories. And you really do have a very good writing style. And I mean it when I say that people would really buy your books if you ever wanted to do that. Even if it was just free lance. I'm really hoping to read any of your up coming stories.

Windschild8178 chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
Great Chapter by the way...

Um. For some odd reason I couldn't reply to your reply so... I decided to send it through a review.

Here it goes...

Start of fic:

Naruto 10

Akira 14

Team 8's sensie Kuriena has a brother... the bad guy of the fic (Bad guys almost always oc to avoid narrow plot line in my stories). I swear to god this isn't a reaccuring theme I just thought it made it more... personal and more of a way that Naruto woudln't be able to avoid taking care of the child but... Akira is pretty much Naruto's best friend/big sister/fellow orphan. She gets raped by Kuriena's brother and impregnated but Konoha doesn't allow for abortions because of their morals [lame reason i'll come up with a better one later] She dies in childbirth begging Naruto not to allow the father to get ahold of her baby. Unfortanutely baby inherits red eyes of Yuhi clan so anyone who sees the baby girl will know and take the baby away. Thus... Naruto stuck with baby. Second orphan is a little boy of 5 whose living on the streets after being abandoned for NOT possessing the bloodline of the Yamanaka that can be identified by the absents of the pupil in the iris. [I'm assuming the Yamanaka clan is big] and that Inoichi does not know of the abandonement. Naruto, who is too good for his own good, can't leave the kid to die. Story follows these events and then continues till discovery of children by team much later on... possibly longer but thats what I got so far in my head. Lots of ideas in between but you got the point. Please tell me what you think!
Apex of Ruin chapter 1 . 3/18/2010
Ugh, sorry to say but your story is in serious, SERIOUS need of a beta. The detail is off, you try to give some and yet you leave out a lot. You repeat words over and over again; use a thesaurus. And Naruto's just too out of character, even for someone who has a "hidden genius."

Understand, I'm trying to give constructive criticism; take a writing/grammar class or go back and correct these chapters, cause it gives me a headache trying to read with all the errors. You can try and give Naruto a personality and build on the history between everyone, make up a whole past and write more, but it still sounds like someone in JR High is writing this.

Good luck. :)
algebraiya chapter 3 . 2/18/2010
great story, incredible detail, keep up the good work!
marc chapter 2 . 2/18/2010
excellent story, great details, awesome fight scenes
The King in White chapter 9 . 2/11/2010
I think that this was an amazingly convoluted story that was well-written with so many little ideas behind it that it is unbelievable. Also this whole concept of Naruto the clone is something I've never even read or conceived of before.

The only thing I didn't really like was the ending of Naruto just running away from everything. It just seems kind of wrong, you know?

Well done. Superb.
Midnight Phase chapter 9 . 2/9/2010
I have seen and read many missing hokage fics and while I'm sure the idea is good, I found them somewhat repetitive. Now this one on the other hand is quite something different. Your Naruto certainly was different. Like another I read, it had a factor that made it truly unique and in some ways... scary. This is a good plot line, entirly something new, and I'm hoping you'll consider adding more at another time. As your last note said, you're considering another Naruto plot. I'm looking forward to it. :D
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