|Reviews for Mysterious Baby|
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/9
Very beautiful. I can't wait to see how this ends.
| blackhellbutterfly chapter 10 . 7/10
Wow! I hope you'll update. Can't wait to see Kimura and Kyohei fighting over Sunako
| Luhan's Jagiya chapter 10 . 9/9/2015
Waaaa! Please.. Please, do continue! Please, this is the best Wallflower fanfic I've read so far. Though, I'm a teacher, majoring in English, your some grammar inconsistencies are not that noticeable! It means, your artwork is great! Keep it up! So please, update now. This is my favorite couple! Aja! Hwaiting! Kamsahamnida!
| Ayko Myoka chapter 10 . 8/31/2015
You've captured my attention with this fanfic. Wow, just wow xD please consider continuing
| mahdehmwahsell chapter 10 . 7/7/2015
This is honestly one of the best fanfics I've ever read. You capture the essence of every character so accurately, and I can't help but adore how you portray them. Admittedly, I was apprehensive at first because of the OCs since so many are really just Mary Sues or self-inserts but I adore all of them; they are believable and actually contribute to the plot. Which brings me to say, the actual story line is amazing. Nice pacing, believable (well, for The Wallflower) events and circumstances. And so I beg of you, please continue! Such a lovely story cannot go unfinished! I must see how Kyohei and Sunako develop! What happens to Ruu!
| jfxx1 chapter 10 . 4/1/2015
| Monster chapter 10 . 3/23/2015
ahhhhhhhhhh! XD pleasssseeeeee make another chapter! i love this story! :D
| Alex Prosper chapter 1 . 3/22/2015
Ooh very interesting! So far the characters seem believable from the anime/manga, and you pulled off the anime feel in writing. Not easy to do without making the writing itself seem whimsical bordering on absurd.
But the English is a little shoddy. For example, you wrote: "That's (contraction for 'that is') his parents." "That is" indicates a singular noun. Correctly used it would be for one parent: "That's his parent." For plural, the correct way to write it is: "They're his parents",or even "those are his parents," since its in dialogue and some people do talk that way.
It's the same with your narrative voice. There is inconsistency between past and present tense. For example: "he decided that no one's around." "Decided" is past tense (you are narrating something that already happened) but "that's" (again) is a contraction for "that is" which is present form narration (you are narrating something that is currently happening). "that was" is what you probably want to use for past tense. This is why when you use third person point of view and past tense narration you should write out the words instead of using contractions which are used for informal speech. However that really depends on your narrative voice and informal speech seems to be popular in fiction these days. So if you are going to use contractions in your narration be careful about their grammatical tense.
There are also redundancies. Such as, "...And she turned into a lady! The three boys stared at her. She...she...she just turned into a lady!" There really is no need to repeat what you narrated with character thoughts or dialogue. May I suggest either using different expressions in the narration or deleting the boy's thoughts and simply draw their awe at Sunako's transformation. Like "She looked at the baby, smiled, and seemed to transform before their eyes. The three boys..." In this way you add a bit of wonder. The reader asks for one second, "what is this transformation? Is she suddenly beautiful? Did the others notice?" You answer this by the other characters' thoughts concerning the transformation and thereby elaborating on it. Redundancy stems the flow of a story. Try to spot them and eliminate them.
I know most of this has been critical but you mentioned in your bio you appreciate and learn from reviews so I thought I'd spend a few moments in pointing out your most glaring mistakes. I really do like the story, however. A little jarred by the grammar but all in all you have a good grasp on mystery, not revealing too much information too soon, and the characters are pretty spot on. :)
| ainna chapter 10 . 3/7/2015
It was good keep going !
| pricklingsensation chapter 10 . 2/26/2015
Thank you for updating, I think this was cool, even though that KImura guy makes me go all rachet, pls keep writing, ur really, really, good!
| Ainna chapter 9 . 2/22/2015
Well Ms. Kuradennj I really thank you for continuing this story though i'm sad because it takes too long but don't worry we still support you, and Goodluck there! Keep studying...
| girl.az2001 chapter 9 . 1/9/2015
nooo that bad because not finished it badly hope to continue the series and hope to end sunako and kyohei married and pregnant sunako
| melissa chapter 9 . 12/1/2014
more more more more! now!
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/12/2014
Please please PLEASE don't do this to me. A lot of my FAVORITE shows are leaving me with cliffhangers, and I was trying to find some resolution, and since I can't believe My stories that I make myself, I need someone to do it for me. AND YOU BETRAYED ME AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS GONNA GET ANSWERS, AND YOU LEFT ME THERE, WONDERING WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!
| B.LotusFlower chapter 1 . 9/26/2014
Awesome please continue! :)