|Reviews for My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor|
| O. N. Labbit chapter 6 . 1/20/2010
LOL, wonderful ending sentence.
The articles were done really well. I forgot to comment on a small mistake in the previous chapter: You placed the word 'an' instead of 'and'. I feel badly I didn't - since I wanted that Beta trophy - dammit. ;D I kid with you. lol
Okay, so another wonderful chapter. I am wondering if 'Twilight Zone,' as a phrase, existed back in this time, 1934. That stood out to me.
Of course, I'm being nit-picky because your writing is so flawless any little thing that seems out of place stands out. You should write more poorly and then I wouldn't notice little things. :D
See, how I emote? I don't want you to be upset with anything I write because you should know I love your story so far. It begs me to read on, and yet I have other things to finish. :(
Brilliant once again, geohpf!
| O. N. Labbit chapter 5 . 1/20/2010
Oh wow, I loved - LOVED - your description of the beautiful Lillian Hale. You do understand my fondness for Rose? ;)
I laughed heartily at this line:
"Um." And the award for the wittiest répartée goes to ... Bella Swan! Thank you. Thank you all so much. No applause, please, just throw money."
HAHAHAHA - HO-HO
That was wonderful. :)
And this? "I was a sparrow transfixed by a cobra." Yes indeed.
Thanks for sharing such a lovely little story.
| O. N. Labbit chapter 4 . 1/20/2010
Another wonderful chapter. I enjoy the subtle comedic timing of Bella's voice:
"With her voice, I wondered if she was a soloist."
Oh, the musicality of all the Cullen's throughout Meyer's writing. heh
"That's my Pa: Sheriff Smoothie."
Did they have smoothie's then? ;)
"He grinned back pleasantly, too, but I'm willing to bet his grin worked so much better on me than mine did on him."
Oh yes, and then she saw the beautiful, Lillian Hale. I think I prefer that name to, 'Rosalie Cullen.'
I'll read on.
| SatinBtweenLinez chapter 12 . 1/18/2010
Well, well, well, geophf, I am thinking that this chapter deserves something like a stamp.
I believe this a entrance, shall I say, into the dramas and the dilemas of Isabella Swan and Rosalie Lillian Hale. This is just the beginning of fantastic dialogue and angry banter. I just hope and pray that it's worth reading and doesn't leave me begging for more.
At the moment, I turn my attention to my girlfriend when I say that. She is very, very, very physically attractive to me, and the problem is that, she knows this. And your story is almost like that for me, or rather, I would give that role to you. You know you are a good author, so you tease. So, she decides to put on a little show to get me aroused, as you did by introducing Rosalie into the story. One thing leads to another, and I think I'm about to get my grip on her, when I believe Rosalie will finally reveal herself, she simply kisses my nose and runs away giggling, as Rosalie taunts Isabella, and apparently is going to murder her at some mysterious date but doesn't tell her when.
You see? I caught that little nymph and had my way, but I have 43 chapters to get through and even then, the story probably won't be finished. Very nice, though annoying, as I want more.
P.S. Sorry if my sex life put you off, I'm just too open about what I'm an expert in.
P.S.S. I'm really happy with my nymph so far.
| SatinBtweenLinez chapter 11 . 1/18/2010
"I wasn't particularly interesting in being a hero, but if that's what it took for me to make it out of this, then that's what I would become."
Is 'interesting' a grammatical error? I ask, just incase I'm wrong, but I do believe that is one. But beyond all that, this chapter left ne wondering the same thing as Isabella although in a much diferent word phrasing.
I don't know what to say. It's like I have been cruelly transported into Isabella's fate. It is like the real life but very highlighted. It is known that you will die, no surprise there, but it becomes more apparent as your killer is standing next to you. You know how, but when is an issue.
P.S. If there is any one thing you are most talented at as a author it is rendering your readers to feel as the character, or as the point of view allows.
P.S.S. Thank You.
| SatinBtweenLinez chapter 10 . 1/18/2010
Oh my! It seems Isabella has just been attacked! But rather, given the title of the story, ROSALIE-NAPPED! I think it's a wicked thing; so scandalous!
This chapter made me feel like that of a puppy. I felt so excited about the chapter that the need to, metaphorically speaking, soil the carpet, but being the good pet I am, I don't and wait for my treat. I read and read, and then, I get really anxious, all this talking is making me restless, and then, the crazy part happens, and I've soiled myself because I got so excited.
I can't really give you any just opinions of the chapter, because I'm a die-hard action fan. I'm just too excited.
P.S. I am really excited, like really.
| SatinBtweenLinez chapter 9 . 1/18/2010
This chapter was much like how Isabella was feeling. It put me in knots.I was hungry, very, very hungry, for more Rosalie, and her comments, but if I had been feed, I would've vomitted from such goodness, like an excess of candy. I really desired more, but what's a story without some suspense, what's domintation without punishment?
Again, Edward was provide a tummy ache for me as well. How suave the emotionally retarded bastard is. Breathe on Isabella; yes breathe so that she will become well, because that's exactly how the cure for cancer will come around. Edward. An engima I never wish to figure out. The stick is just too far up his ass. Too far. The chapter was not my favorite, but enough to have me push the next button.
P.S. You are a fan of Jane Austen? Do elaborate.
| SatinBtweenLinez chapter 8 . 1/18/2010
"I felt just like that heroine Nancy Drew the girls in town twittered over."
To begin, forgive me author for my lack of reviewing. I do come with good excuse however. I have recently started dating, but contrary to my previous beliefs about my sexually preferences, I am dating another woman. I am happy, though not in love, but it's a start. Needless to say, my times has been spent with her in various ways, depending on what you take that comment to mean.
The quote at the top of the page tickled me thanks to the relatively new "thing", . If you take the word 'twitter', in meaning of what the people who actually participate at this sight do, (which is typing short messages and commenting on different people's updates) then it is rather humorous being that this is all that people do now. Well, at least it made me giggle.
I particularly enjoyed the Rosalie stained banter between the unsuspecting Isabella, sweet and protective Esme, and the lethal Rosalie. It is plainly obvious that Rosalie is a vampire, but Isabella has no idea Rosalie's comments abot Isabella's 'liveliness' have however seemed, to strike Isabella as odd, so I am looking forward to hitting the next chapter button.
P.S. Assuming by the title of the story, and Rosalie's comments, not to mention the horses' apprehentions approaching the Hale estate, and now as I think about it, Isabella's notice of the family's perfection, it is safe to assume Rosalie is a vampire, and has alternative plan's for Isabella.
| minako366 chapter 55 . 1/18/2010
I can't believe that I finally made it to chapter 55 woo. I really liked the part where Rosalie was describing Bella's butt and breasts haha it was cute. I'm really hoping that things will progress with them a little more quickly but *shrugs* that's me and you're keeping me on the edge lol
anyway, this is great and you seem to have gotten me hooked ;) so please update again soon, I can't wait. I kind of want Bella to bring up the NAMES of the people she saw. Knowing that they where cloaks and knowing specific names are on different levels, and I think that that would kind of be a slap in the face for Rose I tend to over think
| Il'Diko chapter 2 . 1/17/2010
Well here I am reviewing after a long time... :) I thought I would start with 'My Sister Rosalie' as you recommended, and I must say I love this first chap. Normally I don't read AU, but this captured me. I like the characterisation of Bella, she is interesting, wity, lovely and I simly love the names she invented for Edward (Mr Dark-Glare can't be topped!) :D I like your style... a bit sarcastic and snarky,and I can see, you have put a lot of work in this, and that in itself is enough to capture a reader! Rosalie should be interesting to read and I really like Edward (and I'm thankful, that you kept him like he is in the original books...because, well I rather liked him so... :).
The thing that bothers me, is, that it is REALLY long... REALLY... and whit long fics I tend to forget life in general and just read and read and read (and by reading a first chap like this, I can tell, that I will be easily addicted to this...). ;)
Thanks for the great writing,
| minako366 chapter 49 . 1/15/2010
woo, I like how you slipped Countess Bathory in there. She was a really really sick woman, yes? Very disturbing
| MarkerIV chapter 55 . 1/14/2010
Loved this and cannot wait for the next chapter.
| MadDelight chapter 55 . 1/13/2010
Hm, hm, hm. Okay Mister. Since a certain blog I read seems to have mentioned everyone's comment on Rosalie touching Bella butt, I have taken it upon myself to avoid commenting on that particular aspect and 'touch' ( forgive the pun) on the other aspects of this chapter that i so enjoyed.
“Why?” she demanded. “What’s too much,” she clarified, “is you looking in the mirror and hating what you see. That’s too much, and entirely too mystifying. How could you look in the mirror and see ugliness. It’s criminal to call beauty ugly, but that’s what you did. That’s wrong, and I’m righting that wrong.”
"It's criminal to call beauty ugly"... Hm. I like Rosalie's way of thinking here. Because I was too stuck in Bella's mindset while reading this chapter the first time. But now, I like what Rosalie sees, how she views Bella, and how she just tell her flat out. No beating around the bush here.
Good for a chuckle or two:
“Now that is flat,” I said ... flatly.
I was suddenly afraid she’d touch my breasts. Well, I mean, my chest. I don’t have breasts: I have mosquito bites.
“You don’t have a huge chest for people to leer at, but what you do have is a perfectly proportioned body. You are not flat, you are nymph-like; elfin. A subtle beauty that requires study because that it does not attract undue attention, but requires the person knows you before they admire the hidden beauty of your body.”
Rosalie is now a spokesperson in my mind... and this is her new slogan.
Rosalie Hale- giving hope to flat chested young women everywhere...
On another note:
“You are beautiful,” she commanded, then added softly: “Do you see it, your beauty?”
“I...” My breath caught in my throat. It was becoming too hard to breathe.
“Do you see that I see you as beautiful?” she asked quietly.
I looked at me. I looked at her, looking at me.
I couldn’t believe that I was beautiful. But I did see that she saw me as that.
Rosalie sees Bella as beautiful. How... sweet? Or truthful? Or blinded by love. Ha, a joke.. that comment was a joke... I swear. heh.
"She wrapped my head in her perfectly smooth and cold hands, looking at me so tenderly ...
Oh, my God! The realization hit me. She’s going to kiss me!
She had just called me beautiful in a way that only a lover could call the loved one beautiful. That is: blindly. She saw me in a way nobody else in the world possibly could, because nobody else saw me like that.
Not even me.
That meant she ... she ...
She did love me.
And so she was going to kiss me now, I could see it in her eyes, I could see it in her."
I was so wrapped up in Bella's thoughts... I was like yes, yes... kiss... and then... and then it all came crashing down with that one line:
“This is how I’ll do it,” she said.
and my heart dropped, because I, unlike Bella, knew what Rosalie meant right then.
“This is how I will kill you,” she said.
I didn’t understand what she said.
“What?” I asked, confused, but coming down from my heightened sense of awareness to this confused reality of Rosalie holding me.
“I will take your beautiful, heart-shaped head into my hands, and then ...” She paused and smiled sadly at me. “I will bring my hands together, and you will be no more.”
... Wow. way to ruin a moment Rosalie. from beauty to death. just like that. My how that vampire can compartmentalize! she calls the girl beautiful and then explains how she's going to kill her! wait, what? of course, i have forgotten an important part of being a vampire. The fact that she isn't a human girl too, Rosalie is A VAMPIRE. wow okay, reality check. if you can even call it that.
"My tears wet her hands. But I knew why I was crying this time: I was crying the tears she couldn’t."
AW, so... just. wow. forgive my half formed thoughts. I really should be better at reviewing this chapter (since i have now read it three times all the way through).
"I looked at her. She looked so despondent.
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
She looked back at me. She shook her head.
“You are welcome,” she said quietly in reply.
We looked at each other in silence, both saying nothing. And in that nothing, saying everything."
there was such an emotional journey in this chapter. from humor and beauty to death and love. and yes, i have to say that i can't form too many coherent thoughts about this chapter, but i can tell you this, it is by far my favorite and that has nothing to do with the rump pat, but has to do with these things,
1. seeing beauty for what it is.
2. the "rosalie" or vampire way of ruining a potentially romantic moment
3. bella's growth. the mirror. the realization of things. the way she handles herself. her understanding. so much growth.
4. the obvious love between these two. obvious. its just... plainly obvious for someone who has experienced first hand being blinded by.. complicated love.
and 5. the ending line just wrapped it all up perfectly. couldn't ask for a better chapter and the rump pat didn't hurt.
| O. N. Labbit chapter 2 . 1/13/2010
I love the voice. The time period was brought to life by all the "Pa's" and aw-shucks statements.
"They did all look awfully pale, and travel-worn, so maybe there was something in that."
I actually laughed when I read that. I love understatement.
Great writing! I will read on.
| O. N. Labbit chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
You changed your synopsis from the last time I looked over this story.
So far, so good. I'm going to try and read this story a little at a time. I don't want to get fat on too much Rosalie.
I like that you have placed it in 1934; and at a time in both the early Cullen's life, and Rose's recent change to vampirism.
The fact you have a Table of Chapters is something I've never seen in a fanfic. I like the idea.
Okay, so I shall read chapter one - thankfully its short - and then move on this journey.