|Reviews for My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor|
| GothicPheonix chapter 48 . 11/10/2009
Aww poor Bella:
Rosalie was ignoring me, and now she was gone.
I heard, to my extreme relief, the door open and close again; she had come back.
Rosalie must have also decided to stoke the fire in the stove, because I heard the sounds of the stove door being opened, and I saw flickers of outlines of her putting wood into the fire.
The chair scraped across the floor and pulled my hand away from me. Rosalie’s cool grasp stung my hand, her fingers unwrapping mine from the chair leg and put a cup into my hand.
Distracted? As in...?:
You do know what happens when I drink a full cup of water just before I go to sleep, don’t you? Right?” Then I added: “I really don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I’ll make sure you are in the outhouse before any accident occurs," Rosalie responded coolly.
“Like last time?" I reminded her. I vividly recalled waking up from my dream where I was peeing to find myself being rushed to the outhouse, ... but too late. I also recalled the horrifying result of that race when I soiled everything, including Rosalie’s hand as she stripped me of my clothes. I couldn’t imagine anything more mortifying than that (well, besides my dream last night where she lectured about my very embarrassing dream of Rosalie taking me on my bed) ... unless it was me doing it again tonight. Nothing could be worse than that.
“I was rather ... distracted ... the last time. That won’t happen tonight.” Her assurance wasn't much help: Rosalie sounded ‘rather distracted’ now.
Very true sounding:
Well, Dolly ...” I began.
“Your horse?” Rosalie confirmed.
“Yeah,” I answered, but then I grimaced. I probably wasn’t supposed to say ‘yeah’ anymore, was I? But then I pressed forward. “Well, Dolly said she tasted like horse manure to you, and the antelope said it tasted like vomit ...” I thought about what I had said. “Is that true?”
Rosalie was quiet. I wondered how I offended her with my answer. She did ask.
“Rosalie?” I said. “Did I say something wrong?” ... again? I added that thought ruefully.
“No, actually, you description was very accurate.” Rosalie's voice was distant. “Surprisingly accurate, in fact, and I wonder how you came to know this so precisely.”
I waited in silence.
“Are you going to ask me that?” I finally asked her when she hadn’t said anything for a while.
“No,” she answered quietly. “I’ve found that the answers to why-questions eventually become evident with time, and, being what I am now, I have all the time in the world, don’t I?”
Yep, Rosalie and religion; siding with Bella on this one:
And then I wondered if she were telling me that you don’t get the real reason when you ask a why-question ... so did that mean that it really wasn’t because she was being selfish? That she was trying to get me to Heaven for some other reason?
Yeah, her being selfish trying to get me to Heaven ...? That just didn’t fly when you thought about it. What could the real reason be?
“But it’s hard,” I said sympathetically.
“Yes,” Rosalie said, “it’s hard, but I can manage.”
I thought about that. Something hard for Rosalie. Best not to push it, especially in the dark where it was really hard to gauge just how hard it actually is for her.
“No,” I said, “it’s okay. I got the gist anyway.”
And I did get the gist. If all I wanted to do when I was near her was to get get nearer, and my draw was like that to her?
She was strong. God! She was strong, I realized, because she could just pick me up at anytime and take me, but she didn’t. If it were me? Smelling as she does to me?
She probably wouldn’t last two seconds if our rôles were reversed.
God! She was strong.
I thought about all this in silence.
“Yes?” She was so quiet and patient now: calm, not agitated like a minute ago.
“I’m not gonna ask about ... you know ... but ...”
“But?” I heard a tinge of humor with a touch of caution.
I pressed forward timidly: “What does freesia smell like?”
I knew what lavender smelled like, kinda soapy, right? But I never heard of freesia before. I guess it must smell good, right? But I was curious anyway.
HA! LOL typical blunt Rosalie:
“It smells like lavender,” Rosalie said factually, “but it has a more delicate and feminine smell than lavender, not at all cloying. It's sweet and dainty.” Then she paused, and I heard a smile in her voice as she added: “... just like you are.”
I almost spit out the water I was drinking. Okay, well, I actually did spray a very tiny little bit. Sweet and dainty? She definitely had her view warped. Seriously warped.
I coughed a little bit before I could talk. “Rosalie! You can’t do that to a girl when I’m drinking like that!”
“Do what?” was the innocent reply. I didn’t know if she was being sarcastic or she really really was ...
“At any rate,” Rosalie’s voice interrupted my thoughts, “your pronoun does not agree with its antecedent: you should have used ‘she’s’ not ‘I’m’.”
“Rosalie,” I responded exasperated: “that’s really annoying. Would you stop correcting me all the time? Huh? Please?”
“I don’t correct you all the time,” Rosalie corrected me. “Only when you are wrong. Besides, a lady always uses the proper and correct word for the occasion.”
“And I ain’t no lady,” I said, just to irritate her, “and you can’t make me one!” I snapped back.
“Double negative.” God! She never let up, did she! “And we’ll see about what I am or am not capable of doing.” And she just didn’t give in.
Rosalie sighed in response.
Ah, I love the conversations of Rose's past:
The vampire in question waited for me to continue.
“How do you know what freesia smells like? Do you remember that from when you were ...” But how did I continue? Should I say ‘when you were alive?’ or ‘human?’ or what?
Rosalie seemed to understand, because she answered anyway. “A lady is always dressed and perfumed appropriately, so I suppose I had smelled freesia when I was human, ... but I only remember one smell from when I was alive, and it wasn’t freesia.”
“What was the smell you remember?” I asked curiously. I shouldn’t have. I should have heard the regret in her voice.
“Scotch,” she answered curtly. “Single-malt scotch.”
She continued. “I didn’t even know it was Royce’s preferred drink until that night. He never really drank around me. One time at a social function he put his lips to champagne, but he grimaced at the taste, so I was afraid he was a teetotaller! Can you imagine that? But it wasn’t that, was it? It was just that his preference tended in the stronger direction for his drinks. I didn’t know that at the time.” Then she added darkly: “But then I did find out.”
“It was that night. Royce called me over to him. I didn’t even see him before he called me, as I was so wrapped up in other thoughts, but then he called me, ‘Rose!’ And nobody had called me ‘Rose’ before, because nobody had loved me before ...”
Rosalie was quiet for a second, and I wondered: was she fishing for sympathy? What she said seemed melodramatic, but the way she said it, so factually, didn’t sound like that: it sounded fatalistic.
“And so when Royce said, ‘Rose!’” she continued, “I was so taken off guard, so pleased, because finally somebody did love me ...” Then she added regretfully, “... or at least that’s what I thought. And Royce had really never acknowledged me before, not really: he was always talking about me or around me, but never really to me, so I thought ...”
She stopped for a moment.
“Well,” she said, “whatever I thought, I disregarded propriety, and went right over to him and his friends, ignoring the signs, that is, until I was right there, and then that stench, ...” Her voice turned rancorous with the memory, “that thick, heavy, peaty stench of scotch floating around Royce and the others enveloped me.”
“By that time of the night, Royce had a flask of the Glenlivet twelve year that he was drinking. The cheap stuff, just five dollars ...”
I couldn’t help thinking: a whole five dollars! That was a day’s wage. That was enough to feed Pa and me for weeks ... not that we ate much nor fancy, but ... one bottle? Five dollars? I couldn’t imagine it.
“... I found this out,” she said dispassionately, “when he knocked me face down in the snow and emptied it on me. ‘She smells better now, doesn’t she, chums?’ he asked sardonically.”
Her voice changed when she quoted those words. They became the voice of a strong man, a refined man, ... a cruel man. Royce’s voice, I realized.
“And his friends all laughed at the sport of it. The sport of me. And the smell of it in my hair ... I will never forget that smell. I wish I could, but now it’s burned into my being. And then he ...”
Rosalie stopped suddenly.
“I’m sorry.” she apologized. I realized she stopped for me, because she probably heard my heart beating in my chest. It was beating so hard I could almost hear it.
Then she said very quietly. “I paid him back. Edward and I went shopping one evening when I could bear to be among people again a few months after I was ...” Rosalie paused, then continued more strongly, “and he bought me a bottle of the thirty-three year old cellar reserve. He really didn’t want to, because he knew my intentions, but he also knew I was getting that bottle, even if it was over the dead body of the shopkeeper, and Edward didn’t like that idea all that much ... although I probably wouldn’t have harmed the old man ...” Rosalie’s voice here was considering. “So Edward paid, and he got to play the gentleman and flash his money, which always fed his ego. The bottle was seventy dollars, but it was worth every penny of Edward’s money for me.”
I thought that vampires didn’t drink. Well, didn’t drink that. And ... seventy dollars? It was impossible for me to imagine spending that much money ... that was taking more than a whole two-week’s paycheck and just ... spe
| Avarenda chapter 48 . 11/10/2009
So Bella was wrong about the strawberries and cream. She was right about the animals though.
I wonder what this says about her dreams? Does she merely have normal (but insightful) dreams? Or are they an actual talent so to speak. Apparently the voices can 'lie', so maybe she's talking to death (or the dead) instead. The animals were truthful, they gave accurate descriptions of what they tasted like.
'Death' however, lied. He said she'd taste like Strawberry and Creme. So perhaps like anything, the dead can lie or be truthful. Of course, this whole thing is just me entertaining wild fancy. Who really knows what Bella's talent is/will be?
Well...except for you. P
I also thought it was intersting that the only smell Rose remembers from her human life is the smell of scotch. It makes a ton of sense though, and i like the stumbling way in which she told the story. Haltingly, like it was being dragged from her unwillingly.
It was rather ridiculous to spend 70 bucks on a bottle of scotch (especially considering how much 70 dollars was worth back then) but it seems like a very Rosalie thing to do in the pursuit of her revenge.
and i just gotta say, OF COURSE Bella doesn't know what the F-word means. Figures. She really is so innocent. Then again i can see why, with Charlie being as protective as she is, and them living in polite society as it was back then. I can see why she wouldn't be acquainted with some of the harsher curse words.
at any rate, thanks for the update geophf!
| brandyrenae chapter 48 . 11/10/2009
After just the short description you gave of Rosalie's attack - I'd be willing to bet that Royce got way less than he deserved.
| brandyrenae chapter 47 . 11/10/2009
A most informative chapter - That's all I've got for now.
| brandyrenae chapter 46 . 11/10/2009
Ha, Ha - I loved the last line in this chapter - 'Why does Rosalie always have to be so Rosalie about everything?'
I also wondered about Rosalie's resolve to kill no name girl. Sure she explained her reasons here - and Rose does have pretty good reasons for not wanting to create another vampire - but it is an option outside of killing the girl. I'm just sayin'.
| brandyrenae chapter 45 . 11/10/2009
I am ready for no name girl to figure out her name already. For someone as observant as no name girl is - she can be quite slow on the uptake at times. I loved this chapter, a lot of things were said and discussed that needed to be.
| brandyrenae chapter 44 . 11/10/2009
You know, it is becoming more and more apparent that Rosalie DOES care for this silly little human girl. That is going to put her in quite the pickle. How is she going to be able to kill her like she had planned in the beginning. The plot is so good now, I am really enjoying it.
| brandyrenae chapter 43 . 11/9/2009
Well, I've been away for a while, but am now back. I have to say I disagree with your instrutions on how to make a proper pb&j. My peanut butter goes on first - but the most important think is equal portions. To have a truely good pb&j there must be equal amounts of both peanut butter and jelly.
| Avarenda chapter 47 . 11/4/2009
What? Oh sorry, i got distracted by Dragon Age: Origins.
I'm always glad to read a new chapter though.
I gotta say, im inclined to agree with Bella. Rose is just a tad fanatical regarding this whole god thing, not that we don't know why, but i hope she cuts it out when Bella gets turned.
Also, Rosalie TOTALLY whacked Bella. P
I really like that you're including Rosalies habits regarding Emmett (in canon) into your story. Only now her unfortunate victim is Bella lol. I think we all know its one of Rose's strange ways of showing affection because i dont remember her EVER 'whacking' anyone other then Emmett upside the head when THEY did stupid things. Course, Emmett had a habit of doing more stupid things than others, but still.
I can't say i agree entirely with Massrie regarding Bella and the 'hick' pole. Yes, Bella is ignorant in many things, but not knowing much about religion (or in this case christianity) in general does not make one ignorant. Merely, selective in what she chooses to learn about. Obviously religion is not high on her totem pole of important things to learn.
| massrie chapter 47 . 11/3/2009
I understand the way this has gone due to the recent events in the cabin. The days and nights almost seem to melt together, Rosalie speaks so proper and dignified and Bella, oh Bella, is so far down on the "hick" pole its almost embarrassing.
She's trying to understand though, for all that she is capable of.
Perhaps Rosalie could explain things simpler more often?
Well Done *smiles*
(still 2 sick puppies left, the other 3 died)
| GothicPheonix chapter 47 . 11/3/2009
Religion seems to be a popular theme when it comes to fiction, and I love how you submit these themes in here:
I stayed wrapped up in myself, thinking about that mean vampire sitting so coolly by the side of the bed who wouldn't tell me what she prayed about.
"What's with the whole God-thing, anyway?" I demanded from my fœtal position.
"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked, still cool.
I unwrapped myself and turned my body in the bed toward her voice.
"All the sudden, you're reading the Bible and you're praying now, and you whack me on the back of the head just for saying the ... you know ..." Oops! Am I not allowed to say 'you know' anymore? I've lost track. "... the 'J' word. What's that all about?"
You have such a way with small humors like this and I LOVE it XD
I sense teenager rebellion in here, such a popular phrase:
"...I mean, what's the big deal? I said the 'J' word; everybody says it!"
"You aren't 'everybody'!" Rosalie was still angry.
Poor Bella, she's looking down on herself again, can't she see how it hurts Rosalie to hear her say that? :
"You aren't 'everybody'!" Rosalie was still angry.
"Because I'm a nobody?" I whispered.
"No!" Rosalie growled. "When are you going to see your virtues and innate beauty! You aren't everybody, because you are unlike every other person. You're not nobody, no: there is nobody like you."
But Rosalie continues to try:
"There you go again, Rosalie." I just couldn't believe how far off she was. "When are you going to leave off this kick?"
"When you start seeing yourself as you are," Rosalie responded resolutely.
Whatever, I thought, but continued: "That still doesn't explain the wha-... um, that is, the whole head-bowing thing.
I always love their humorous exchange:
"I did not 'whack' you," Rosalie corrected.
"You whacked me, Rosalie," I retorted angrily.
"If I had, as you said, whacked your head," Rosalie hissed, "we wouldn't be having this argument, because you wouldn't have a head or even have that pretty little mouth to argue from."
"You whacked me, Rosalie," I stated sullenly, not giving an inch.
"So, why did you whack me?" I demanded.
"I didn't wha-..." Rosalie began angrily.
"Whatever. So, why?" I interrupted.
Rosalie gave me the silent treatment.
"Okay!" I can't believe I caved here. God! I'm such a pollyanna! "All right! So you didn't whack me, okay? So, but, why did you bow my head? I mean, what's the big deal? I said the 'J' word; everybody says it!"
Wow, even I didn't know about this...and my dad's family are christian's and technically I am too, but don't really like religion and kind of veer away from it; I don't mind others it's just I really don't want to have to do all the church thing :( :
"Do you know your Decalogue?" Rosalie asked.
"Can we please just say on topic, just this once?" I begged.
"But I am staying on topic!" she insisted.
I couldn't stand it any more. "No, Rosalie, I say the 'J' word and you react like that; I want you to explain that, please, and not change topics and talk about the deca-something."
"Oh, dear me!" Rosalie sighed then explained: "The Decalogue is the Ten Commandments, and one of the commandments is not to take the Lord's name in vain. You did know that, didn't you?"
"I guess so ..." I said. I knew, at least, that you weren't supposed to say 'God damn it' or whatever, although everybody does. But I didn't know the Ten Commandments were called the Decalogue, but it wasn't as if my life depended on knowing that, right?
"So what is the Lord's name?" Rosalie asked me.
"God, right?" I guessed.
"No, that's what God is, that is not His Name." Rosalie answered.
"Are you going to whack me if I say the 'J' word?" I asked back.
"Li-..." Rosalie began, then stopped, and hummed angrily at her mistake for a moment.
Maybe if I really ticked her off, she'd drop that name she's thinking of for me, and the game would be up, and she'd just call me that and quit torturing herself with these fits and starts.
Rosalie resumed after a while. "Were the Ten Commandments written before or after the Incarnation?"
I just shook my head. "Rosalie, the only thing I can say to that is 'um.' But I know you don't like that, so can you ... I mean ... would you please explain it in a way that I can understand?"
Yeah you and me both , Bella.
I definitely feel what bella feels:
"Let me get the Bible and read it to you, then," Rosalie said.
"Oh, God!" I sighed with exasperation.
"Just ... just bear with me, here." Rosalie said impatiently, then scolded: "You did ask me to explain."
I think I was going to regret asking.
I felt Rosalie get up from the chair, then come right back. I heard her flipping through a bunch of pages
Cat reference perhaps? : "Don't you need some light or something to read that?" I asked. I couldn't see her at all in the darkness.
"No," came the answer and the pages continued to flip.
"You can see in the dark?" I asked.
"Ah, here it is," was Rosalie's answer. I guess she could see in the dark. I'd have to add that to my list. What number would that be again? Number twenty-two, right? 'Rosalie being able to see perfectly fine in pitch black darkness.'
Yeah, more about the Volturi...kinda scary actually if they are working on it:
"Um, no? How can that story be God's name?" I asked.
"Nobody, today, knows exactly." Rosalie answered quietly. "What we do know, that in the ancient Hebrew, there were two hundred sixteen letters in this passage, and when arranged and said a certain way, gave the Name of God. And that Name was so sacred that the High Priest for all Israel was the only person allowed to say it, once a year, inside the most sacred part of the temple, where only he could go. He even had to be tethered to a rope, so that if were struck dead uttering the Name, he could be pulled out without others adding their dead bodies when God struck them down when they trespassed to collect the priest. That is the power of God's Name: it was so powerful, that when the Jews recited it, they conquered and ruled their lands, and prosperity and power was theirs, and when they profaned it, they were struck dead and their temple was destroyed. And since that destruction, even onto now, two thousand years later, the Name has been lost to us."
"Why? Why doesn't somebody just arrange those letters and say it?" I asked. It didn't sound all that hard.
"It's not that simple," Rosalie answered.
"Why not?" I didn't see the problem.
"Oh, don't think people aren't trying. In fact, the Volturi have existed even as far back as the last time God's Name was recited. I wouldn't put it past them to be working on it right now."
Rosalie was quiet, thinking about the other 'V' group. I now had two sets of 'V's: 'vampires' and 'Volturi.' Why couldn't they be called something else? Maybe vampires like words starting with 'V'?
I can kinda see rosalie's point, that does seem difficult:
"Well, let's take a much smaller but similar problem. If I told you 'Yahweh' and 'Jehovah' were only two of the ways to pronounce the same four-letter Hebrew word, do you start to see the issue? So how do you know you have the correct one when you pronounced it? And that's just four letters? So if we keep increasing the length of the word? And ... well, I can see your mathematical foundation isn't very strong, ..."
"Oh, don't sugar-coat it, Rosalie," I butted in, still smarting from all the red I saw on the algebra exercises I worked on.
I could feel Rosalie's condescending smile in the darkness. "Well, let me just say that the problem gets at least twice as hard with each new letter you add."
And Bella understands:
Well," I groused, "I see what you mean."
She reengaged: "And that's only thirty or so doubles, so maybe you can see the difficulty when there are more than two hundred doubles? It would take more than ... hm, carry the four ... approximately two to the sixtieth years to exhaust all possibilities if you were to recite a simple bifurcated variation of the name every minute."
"English, please, Rosalie." I begged.
"... with no meal nor outhouse breaks, either." Rosalie finished, and I heard the smile in her explanation.
"Oh," I said humbly. "So, I guess it must be pretty hard, then."
"Yes, it would be 'pretty hard' to know the Name of God, if it weren't for the Incarnation," Rosalie agreed.
But this is sad, even I KNOW what reincarnation is :( :
Was she talking about flowers? She just said something about carnations, didn't she? I felt like asking her, but her mood soured when I was being flip about the money thing. I kept quiet.
| massrie chapter 46 . 11/2/2009
Hope is a very strange creature indeed.
The begging was a nice touch. Quite interesting. I loved it.
my apologies for the sparsity of my review but I've been dealing with a litter of puppies with parvo and the few minutes i can steal away to read the story is like a slice of heaven, then i have to head back into the war zone.
| Avarenda chapter 46 . 11/2/2009
Finally it comes out.
Well...not really, but it sorta does. Rosalie's 'mission' to get Bella to heaven. Of course Bella doesnt know its Rose's mission, but now she has an inkling about Roses intentions.
Makes me wonder what Rose and Bella are going to talk about in the morning, and whether or not Bella is going to spend some more time in front of the mirror.
I also liked the part where Bellas all like 'Damn it! Why does the puppy eyes only work on me!' Of course the answer to that is because Edward can read minds and therefore see through the puppy eyes.
Actually on that note, i cannot recall, does Bella actually know that Edward reads minds? I know Rose sorta hinted at it once or twice, but i don't actually recall her simply coming out and saying 'Edward can read minds'.
I wonder how Bella will react when she finds out that vampires can have special powers in addition to all the normal stuff like enhanced speed and strength.
| GothicPheonix chapter 46 . 11/2/2009
You can sense the tension, but I'm glad Rosalie is trying to ease it away:
But I shook my head. “I’m being selfish: I shouldn’t be prying; I’m sorry.”
“I think that I, better than you, can determine if you are prying. Besides, when will you ever have this opportunity again?” Then she added sadly, “Now is all we have.”
“Uh, okay,” then I asked quietly: “Do you pray?”
Rosalie was quiet for a moment, so I felt my fear was justified: I was prying. But then Rosalie did speak.
Oh, poor Rosalie :[ :
“I don’t think I ever did as a human ... I never saw the point: A Hale makes her own way. Who needs God’s help? Weak people, or so I always thought. I’ve only prayed as a vampire. Funny, isn’t it, finding the need to pray when one is cursed creature for all eternity?” she asked, but her rueful voice didn’t sound she found any humor in it.
“What do you pray about?” Then I instantly regretted my question. What did I just say to myself about prying?
“I’ve prayed twice in this existence so far,” Rosalie answered quietly. “Once to my father, and once to God.”
“You prayed to your father?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes, when I held him in my arms after he died,” Rosalie responded factually.
And then Rosalie findinfg out that her father loved her at the end..so sad:
It was quiet in the cabin for a moment. And then Rosalie said, “I’m sure you’ve seen that we Hales are proud people.”
I bit my lip. The smile still tried to plaster itself on my face.
“We Hales are proud people,” Rosalie said again. “And when, as I kept watch over my father in the months following my death, as he looked desperately for a reason for it, and then realizing that it was my own fiancé that was the cause, it just killed him. And that’s when I realized that he loved me. I found out, after my own death, and after his, that my father loved me.”
My smiled evaporated as I gasped.
Rosalie continued, still distant: “And I could just see him going right up to God and telling God that if his own daughter wasn’t in Heaven, then Heaven wasn’t fit for a Hale. I could just see my father damning himself to Hell in his own Hale pride.”
“So I prayed to him,” Rosalie's focus seemed to returned to the here and now. “I prayed that he would just let go of his Hale pride, would just let go of me, and be happy in Heaven. That's what I prayed to my father.”
It was quiet for a moment.
Oh, that's cute; kinda like a compliment:
“Of course,” Rosalie continued, “I didn’t cry then. I couldn’t any more, so the thought didn’t even occur to me, so it is endearing that you cry for me now.”
Ah there little exchanges, at least Rosalie isn't trying to dazzle her:
I suppose I should have noticed that the tears started falling again by the end of her story. I ruminated that it’s a rather sad statement that I don’t even notice that I cry anymore, that it has to be pointed out to me. I never in my life cried so much since when the Hales came, since Rosalie took me away and started telling me about how terrible she is(n’t) and how good I am(n’t).
I sniffled. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you know what I was thinking.”
“What were you thinking?” Of course she would ask.
“No way.” I said firmly, discreetly wiping my tears on the pillow. “If I tell you, you ... Rosalie, you don’t need anything more in your, you know, your life. You don’t need this. You’d hate me if I told you.”
“That’s a rather difficult scenario to imagine; try me,” she answered calmly. “Tell me, for I’d really like to know what you are thinking, as I never do know ... and your thoughts are always a surprise. Sometimes they are even entertaining.”
I could hear the smile in her voice, but she wouldn’t smiling when I told her this.
“No,” I said firmly.
“I’d feel bad if you don’t tell me,” she chided.
Hey, now. I thought I was supposed to be able to push her around with her Hale pride. She’s not allowed to do that to me, forcing me to say it by making me feel bad about making her feel bad.
“Rosalie ...” I pleaded.
“Tell me,” she answered, pleading right back. “Please,” she begged.
Rosalie begged. Who could gainsay that? I could just imagine those impenetrable black eyes growing large and innocent and lost.
God damn it all!
Here she was, getting her way again, as always. I wonder why that didn’t work on Edward. They were supposed to be ... you know ... together. Maybe she didn’t like him enough to bat her eyelashes at him entreatingly?
“Okay, but you’re going to hate me, I just know it.” I swallowed and pressed on. “I thought you went back to say goodbye to your Pa after you became what you are now, and I thought that you killed him because you couldn’t stop yourself from ... you know.”
I love how Bella tries to pull Rosalie from blaming herself:
“See,” I sighed. “I told you that you would hate me.”
“No, it’s not that,” Rosalie voice was assuring. “I’m just surprised at how correctly you thoughts are in this case.”
“But I thought you said you didn’t kill him!” I was confused.
“But I did,” she countered: “I died and broke his heart. That, and the shameful way I died, killed him.” Then she finished sadly: “I killed my own father.”
“No!” I said. I couldn’t believe what she just said. She blamed herself for what was done to her? But she still didn't get what I was saying to her. “I meant that I thought that you did the, you know,” and here I whispered, “the vampire thing” I paused for a fraction of a second, listening for a tirade for saying the ‘V’ word. It didn’t come, so I pressed on, “to your father, and you couldn’t stop yourself.”
“No, I didn’t do that, but that, too, is a very reasonable thought,” Rosalie answered quietly. “For, after all, most all vampires are uncontrollable as newborns, and what does one fall back to when out of one’s element? The familiar. Most newborns run right back to mommy and daddy for help or consolation. But what happens when they smell the blood? Most newborns’ first victims are their own families.”
“But you didn’t.” My statement was a statement, but I was also just making sure.
“I was very ... fortunate,” I could hear Rosalie’s grimace, “in that the Cullens take their responsibilities very seriously, unlike others. They kept a very watchful eye over me this past year. Not as if they needed to.” Her last statement had a tinge of annoyance.
And poor Bella is trying to get rid of her past words:
Rosalie was quiet again, but then added. “As you said, it must be nice being a vampire. Who could not want this?”
“Rosalie,” I pleaded, hurt by her sting, “I'm so sorry I said that ... I just didn’t know.”
“You did,” Rosalie replied. “You did know. Deep down, you already knew, yet you still said it. I’ve hurt you this much. That even though you knew it would be small to say, you said it, because you do see what I am.”
“No, Rosalie,” I said angrily, “no. You’re not like that. You were right, I was just being mean; that’s all.”
“Li-...” and Rosalie sighed but continued, “I am like th-...”
“And why do you keep doing that to yourself?” I demanded. “Just stop stopping yourself, please? Huh? For me, okay? I don’t care what you call me anymore, all right? But this whatever game you’re playing is only hurting yourself.”
“You must earn your name for me to call you by it.” Rosalie was firm.
Ah, Rosalie is trying to get Bella to see herself:
Well, I could be firm, too.
“Well, okay, then. I’ll earn it, then. What do I need to do? Do I have to stand in front of the mirrors for, like — what? — fifteen hours or something? I’ll do that.” Yes, I’d do that for her. I could barely handle three seconds for myself, but I’d do it so that she’d stop beating herself up.
“That’s part of it,” Rosalie answered.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Rosalie said, but I could hear she was displeased.
“Do I have to say that I’m beautiful and graceful?” I asked quietly and quickly, not letting it go.
“Do you see yourself in that way?” Rosalie asked right back, accusingly.
I was silent. How do I tell her no without the whole lecture from her?
“You do know that you are those things,” she said.
“... but you don’t see yourself that way,” Rosalie added quietly. I heard regret in her voice.
| massrie chapter 45 . 11/1/2009
An interesting evening insight into Rosalie's frame of mind as well as tidbits of information to flesh out her past in my own mind.
Bella's apology was heartfelt and I think it even briefly touched Rosalie's dead heart.
I like the answering of the questions back and forth and still Rosalie's aloofness and correct way of speaking.
Bella's learning, but slowly.
How many days have they been at the cabin now?
Well Done. Can't wait for the next chapter but I suppose I shall have to!