|Reviews for My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor|
| William Wolvenheart chapter 39 . 7/6/2009
Sorry for the late review, I was busy last time. Now, basicly, I think its a great idea what you're doing here, altho at times it kind of hard to keep track of the time, especially when you read that this all happened in 3 days while due to the amount of chapters & events, it does seem a longer period.
Second, somehow, I'm finding that bella is a wee bit too... lets call it overreacting about the mirror thing, your making her look quite pethetic and useless.
Third, I find the pace of the story a wee bit too slow. While its a great story, something I think to myself: "geesh, hurry up already, you're repeating yourself".
| Lola chapter 39 . 7/5/2009
oh yay! thank you so much for the update! i'm in love with this story and your writing. it's just... amazing. great chapter, this one. by the end i felt like hitting bella for chickening out and hyperventilating, but i guess no good would have come of her confession anyway, am i right? -sigh-
i really like this "nice" rosalie. it's good to see her caring for her "girl". i'm kinda scared to build my hopes up though, taking into consideration the last chapter of rose by a lemon tree. i kept bracing myself this whole chapter, waiting for rosie to do something awful to bella, but thank god it didn't happen. :D
can't wait for your next update.
this and rose by a lemon tree are one of, if not the best fics i ever read.
| Rise-N Seraphim chapter 39 . 7/4/2009
Poor Bella, so clueless and doubtful... but so filled with hope... thanks for the update!
| dearalice chapter 39 . 7/4/2009
This was a great chapter, I can't believe you did that at the end where you made Bella ALMOST confess her love that was just cruel. Thankfully you have a way of making the wait Of the next chapter bearable.
As for the mirrors, maybe I'm just too stupid to catch on, but is all rosalie doing is making bella look at herself in the mirror?
| GothicPheonix chapter 38 . 6/7/2009
[Her sarcasm stunned me with its venom. It didn't stun me enough: I saw red. "Oh, really?" I shouted. "You get a real kick out of that, do ya? You really enjoy that, huh?"
"Oh! I'm just having the time of my life doing that!" she shouted right back.
My hands balled into fists and dropped to my side. I felt the sweater, my sweater, not hers, drop to the floor.
"HA!" I screamed. "HOW CAN YOU DO THAT! 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALIVE! YOU'RE DEAD!"
I was panting in fury, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. C'mon, Rosalie, answer that, huh! Give it your best shot! You're not gonna walk all over me!]
Bella shouldn't have said that, but no human has complete control over their emotions, and when it gets the better of us it can hurt, ourselves or i love how you are still staying true to the Rosalie character; such as with the sarcasm.
Huh? What was wrong? I opened my eyes.
Rosalie was gone. Her body was there, but it sat there, frozen. Her unblinking coal black eyes emptied of all reason. It was if she were King Midas and had touched herself, turning herself into a diamond statue, sparkling in the sunlight filtered through the window.
I looked at her, but she didn't move.
"Rosalie?" I asked quietly.
I took a step toward her. I waved my hand in front of her eyes.
Oh, my God.
I had just killed her. She said I could've killed her before in the outhouse when I had called her kind, but she didn't say how. I had just found out how.]
Silly Bella thought she killed her.
["I'm sorry," she said, and her words hit me with their sincerity, "I'm sorry for my unladylike behavior."
"Rosalie, you don't need to …" I started, but stopped when she held up her hand.
"I'm interrupting you, but, yes, I do need to apologize for my behavior." Well, at least she was being nice about interrupting me now.
"And you need to eat your breakfast. You've lost eleven percent of your body weight. Any more and you will kill yourself before I can." She shook her head.
"So, cry," she said quietly. "Cry for me, too, but don't cry too long, hm? Then," here she paused.
"Then, do chapter one of Algebra I — I'll check your work on the exercises when I return — and …" she walked over to the triptych, "mirror time." She unwrapped the mirrors, facing toward the stove, angled away from me, with one swift movement.
I swallowed, but before I could protest, she added: "Three seconds. Just three seconds this time. You've already done that; you can do that. You can do that again."
I started to shake my head, but she shook hers.
"No," she said, "you can do that. Now finish your cry, wash your face, then eat all of your breakfast, and do your chores. So much to do, and we have so little time."
And she was gone.]
Odd about Rosalie's state of mind here. I feel bad for her; she's went to being meek, acting like a scolded child, ashamed and then to acting like a mother or teacher, telling Bella what to do. I love this story. Can't wait for the next update.
| GothicPheonix chapter 37 . 6/7/2009
Same chapter, but split up, right? Oh and I see that Rosalie's 'purring' puts Bella to sleep like her lullaby. I also found the King Midas story sad. And i found their intamacy relistic, so do not worry about that.
| Rise-N Seraphim chapter 36 . 6/7/2009
Wow... so much angst and sorrow. Also, a lot of twists and turns. The beginning was... interesting, same with Bella's dream, Rosalie just calmly told Bella the truth even after she watched as Bella dreamt about her, so angsty! Now I so anxious to see how this would end. Thanks for the update! Btw, I think the length was good and guys can read Twilight too, ALL guys. There's nothing wrong in enjoying a good book!
| Blackcatwitchgirl chapter 36 . 6/6/2009
Wow... This was a very emotional chapter. I loved it, it is amazing how you are able to show the emotions like that. This chapter was not, in my opinion, too long. But then again, I like long chapters. Thanks for sharing this amazing story with us.
| carolinainthesky chapter 36 . 6/6/2009
so good. Rosalie is so angry, but you can tell how much she cares for Bella.
Is she confused as to what she feels? Or is she just angry for feeling it?
I liked the dream she had- is Rose's reaction to that dream in your other story?
| massrie chapter 36 . 6/6/2009
That she cannot cry seems to the cruelest torment of it all. Forced to choose blood lust over tears, even when tears were never the proper thing while she still was forced with the necessity of breathing.
Could I not cry, I don't know what I would become.
| GothicPheonix chapter 36 . 6/6/2009
"You may let go now; I have to do your front side." Rosalie said.
Doing my front side: that would be the worst thing.
It would have been nice to do what she asked, but I found I couldn't. I couldn't move at all, I just held on to her, and as much as I tried, my eyes stayed tightly shut and my arms stayed locked around her.
"Did you hear me?" she asked, but patiently, I was glad to hear. "You can let go now."
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-..." I sucked in a gasp of wonderfully Rosalie-scented air and tried again, "I-I-I-I-I-I-I c-c-c-c-c-c-..." I wasn't making much progress.
"Hush, now, hush," she said gently. "If I have to move you, I might hurt you. Do you understand me? I might snap your arms in half." I love that part of Rosalie being kind and how their interacting with eachother. And the epilogue...this can't be the end of the story right, because that what it usually means what happens after the end of a book. I do love how it is longer than the last chapters, though.
| FFFree chapter 35 . 5/28/2009
Love where this is going. Love your Rosalie, both practical and trying to do what is best but struggling the entire way, very nice. Hope you update soon.
| Blackcatwitchgirl chapter 35 . 5/27/2009
This is a very unique story. I like it. I am going to read your other story as soon as this one is complete, It will be interesting to see what Rose is thinking.
It is amazing how much your story has changed since the very beginning. I would have never begun to imagine how MSR has gone so far. Thank you so much for this wonderfully different story.
| Rise-N Seraphim chapter 35 . 5/26/2009
Now that you mention it, I have thought of those things but I see them as things parents do to protect us and I don't have any relatives who experienced the Great War. Anyways, I agree with what Rosalie, you, are saying about the depression, it's the same thing with this current recession. Good character development in this chap, I liked reading it as usual. Thanks for update!
| GothicPheonix chapter 35 . 5/26/2009
I still find it funny that Bella still thinks this: It was water, ... not blood. And not her voice.
Of course it wasn't her voice: she was talking now. Duh, silly! Boy, I'm really smart, aren't I? No wonder why Rosalie was always shouting at me. It was like she had to explain everything to a baby.
And Bella is reacting a little like Rosalie in the way of trying to dismiss that she's fallen for Rosalie; except she's saying Rosalie is the one who doesn't love her, because she's plain (still can't see herself properly). And I can imagine what Alice would do in this situation here: My hair was that oily and dirty. I refilled the pitcher and poured the soapy water over it. That did nothing, was going to be one of those really long hair-washing experiences, wasn't it? Arg! I refilled the pitcher, brought it up to my head, started pouring, and that's when I hear the door slam open.
But I don't think Alice would have been as mad as Rosalie because she would understand a bit. But I love the Rosalie sarcasm and interaction with Bella. Quotes I love: "Who of the three thousand people in your little town discerned our nature, hm? Who saw our differences, went to her library and found every piece of damning evidence over the past year to paint a complete picture? Who?" Her eyes penetrated me.
"Who in all of Rochester did that? Who in all of Atlanta, Georgia? I've passed thousands of humans. Thousands! And how many knew what I was, unless I revealed myself as I killed them? How many? Not one. Not one until you."
"Who sees everything as it is — except in herself, of course ... or maybe you do but your humility simply refuses for to acknowledge good about your own self? — everything in its purest, most real form? Who looks and sees and is not afraid to look and to see what everyone else turns from in horror or in ennui?"
"You have such a lovely voice," she said quietly.
I laughed. What was with her? One minute she's shouting at me, and the next minute she's onto some other topic which involves complimenting something about me that nobody in the world had ever noticed because it just wasn't there to be noticed. I had a lovely voice? I was smart? She must have confused me with somebody else. She must have confused me with her.
"Why do you laugh?" she asked, confused. Maybe I had offended her, but I just couldn't believe that she believed what she said.
"You voice is lovely; can't you take even one compliment? It's a sweet alto voice, not deep like a contralto, not airy like a soprano, but grounded, assured, steady and calm and at the same time rich and nuanced. Do you sing?"
I shook my head, amazed beyond belief. Did she just say all those things about my plain, plain voice? Was she asking me if I sung? She must be joking, but I managed to squeak out a no in response.
She sighed. "A pity," she said, but then continued down a different track, "A pity not to hear that beautiful voice singing; a pity to hear that voice not saying what it means with confidence, but constantly hesitating over the drone of indecision, hm?"
She looked a me significantly. "Do you take my meaning?"
I tried not to blush. I tried not to drop my eyes to the ground when I replied.
I really tried.
But it didn't work out so well, that trying.
"Sometimes," I whispered my answer, "I don't know what to say," and I wanted to add 'because I'm stupid, remember?' but I didn't want another lecture.
But I was getting it anyway. Her hand reached out and lifted my chin, gently. "Then say nothing until you do know, and not one moment before. A lady is admired for her silence, yes, and when she does speak, she is admired more for her wisdom and insight."
Her eyes penetrated mine, and I couldn't drop mine. I swallowed, feeling the power of her intense gaze.
She dropped her hand from my chin and turned away toward the tub, "Now ..." she started.
The last ones about Bella was really cute...too bad Bella ruined the moment a bit.