Reviews for My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor
tumma chapter 88 . 6/8/2015
Mmmm. Please update the new chapter quickly? I felt that was an even worst cliffhanger than chapter 87. I really admire Bella. I would've given up a long time ago, on everything. She's got some balls. Looking forward the next chapter :).
PS: Would you consider writing Rosalie's POV (again) from these scenes? God, I'm so curious as to what she feels everytime they kiss (and every time they part, as well).
Beth Cyra chapter 88 . 6/7/2015
Really interesting chapter.

I don't doubt that she will have a word but the role reversal at least to my perspective is pretty intense. For a large part of the story Rosalie was dangerous, and a monstrous vampire or at least could be.

Now though while she holds so many cards I see Bella in all her weakness and fear to be the stronger one in this situation and Rosealie as the weaker of the two. The fact Bella said out loud that she loved Rose made me feel like as hard as it will be that Bella at least for now has the strength to push through and prove to Rosealie that Bella is her own person and will win in the end.
Theunder017 chapter 11 . 5/30/2015
Semester over, let's go.

This is one of the most important chapters in the story, in my opinion.

It effortlessly transitions this tale into it's second act/part, and instead of worrying much over the natural progression expected after a kidnapping (would have been similar to the 7 stages of grief over losing her old life), it focuses on some of the things that will drive MSR in the future and are at it's core, such as Rosalie's ideologies, and Bella metaphorically trying to put on some common pants, when she has never and will never fit in them.

In this chapter, the story showed it wouldn't focus on the low hanging fruit of the situation, but instead -in the only way i can put it- on more.

(Which makes it a Rosalie to review)

Which leaves me asking, what is My Sister Rosalie concerned with? What is is trying to tell it's readers?

Ah, more re-reading and thinking needed. Fun times ahead.

Things i liked:

-Really liked the lessons from her dad. Really liked Bella still thinking of herself as a hostage. Challenging Rose and strategizing towards an (impossible) escape. Really, Bella doing an attempt at escaping while Rosalie was out, would have been absolutely hilarious. Even more if Rosalie had still been unable to breathe/talk around Bella. The look on her face and Bella’s reaction when she was found. Oh man, Ha!

-I had always thought that Rosalie was a bit different at the start. More aggressive, uncaring, basically a non-sappy version of herself. And yeah, it’s still as i remember it. And so lovely too, to see her have this purpose in mind, and see her head towards that inevitable point where she realizes she is not just going to “find out who you are” and then move on.

-The dialogue in this chapter is pure gold. The amusement in Rosalie’s voice, Bella trying to outsmart Rosalie (not that she isn’t capable in some ways.) Them being at odds because Bella still sees herself as a hostage/hasn't fallen for Rose.

-The imagery at the end, with the snow covering up their tracks. Really cool (ha) stuff. Maybe would have been a bit more powerful without Bella spelling out it's significance a line later. :D

Anyways, awesome chapter. I would never dream of "rating" MSR, because (just like Mad Men), even a slow chapter of it is still better than most of the stuff out there, but this would definitely be a... high letter grade. Damn it, don't do it. Don't do it..

Alright, i'll stop myself.

Take care,
HP.
On the Hill chapter 87 . 5/28/2015
You're terrible.
caesaraugusta chapter 1 . 5/23/2015
grat fic!
Guest chapter 87 . 5/5/2015
Oooh please some smut between them now
A2463 chapter 87 . 5/5/2015
Love it! Really love it! Please continue!

This chapter was uplifting and fun to read. The ending really wants me to see what Rosalie has in mind. I really liked how Rosalie starts to open up to Bella. She's not really good at comforting but at least she's getting her feelings out in the open... even if it's in quotes.

Really would love to see what happens next!
MadTrout chapter 87 . 5/5/2015
I'm so glad you're sticking with this story :) I Reread the whole thing because this is such a good story. And your writing is amazing. Thank you for telling us this story and continuing even though I'm sure you have much better things to do.

Question: what made you like the idea of a Rosalie and Bella relationship? What about them together is appealing to you as a writer?

Thanks and I look forward to the next chapter with that cliff-hanger you left us.
Beth Cyra chapter 86 . 4/20/2015
Well I must say this chapter while on the quick side was good, and flowed well and showed some good emotion on bailout sides.
Theunder017 chapter 83 . 4/18/2015
So, during the most important conversation of Rosalie’s life, she was wearing a LBD? So fitting. Yet so not-fitting. Ha.

The beginning of this chapter has me feeling like a pulled string. Rosalie, for all of her knowledge and her high society skills/awareness, is not a good communicator. Or at least, she doesn’t choose to be with Bella. And that is made so much worse with Bella’s incessant need to please Rosalie. Where did that come from anyway? I see Bella is questioning it, and failing at convincing herself not to care. She’s in too deep anyways.

Bella really needs to start interrupting Rosalie more though. If she could get her point across and not let Rose dominate their conversations, their interactions much more lively and things would actually get solved. On the other hand, things would take even longer because anything Bella said Rosalie would have an answer to, and she’s argue back. Damn it.

If Bella was a contrarian person though, she’d have so much friggin’ fun! Imagine Bella just trolling Rosalie into trashing things. Because Rosalie is the kind of person who would take the bait. All of the baits. Every single time- :D

But then, Bella isn’t in a position to really respond thoroughly to Rosalie’s jabs, is she? Lest we forget, reality must be a minefield for her right now. It's only been two weeks since she got kidnapped, lost her family and routine and sense of worth, and started seeing inhuman stuff happen in front of her like it was your everyday fare. It messes somebody up.

That and having to weight her actions and words too heavily are stopping her from acting freely. She only seems to really speak her mind now when she's angry, precisely because she loses her Inhibitions for a second. It might be in Rosalie's best interest to get Bella to “Let it Go”. Have her put you down from the pedestal she has you in right now, and also take her out, let her see people, let her lose all this pressure she has right now.

The “nothing” part though. I mean, I feel like this has been out there for all to see since the start, but this is the first time I hear Rosalie actually say this out loud. It was more powerful than i expected. And yet, this is her, this is not Bella, why does she not see this?

Then the kiss happened. And it seemed like everything that had happened before, everything that was MSR, was just flipped upside down. Our reality just changed. But still, some here are the moments that jump out to me:

The decision of going for the kiss by Rosalie. Now that i can read this sequence and not lose it, i must say that i am just dumbfounded by that action from Rosalie. I mean, there was nothing to foreshadow it. The moment wasn’t really right, or was it. What is the trigger? What goes through Rosalie's mind? When/why is the desicion made that she will let go of everything and just embrace her feelings and kiss Bella?

You can’t just be lecturing her, arguing, and having your body language and gaze tell someone that they are acting in an inept manner… and then just have a quiet moment to yourself, and say “fuck it, i can’t do this anymore” and kiss her.

I mean, you can, Rosalie did it and it obviously went very well. Well, it ended very well at least. I loved how Bella was just reaction-less. Your writing in that moment during/shortly following the kiss Geophf, it was superb. It felt like truly, a literal transcription of what was going in Bella’s mind in such a moment. And Rosalie’s reaction to Bella’s non-reaction. Man.

But then, the Buffalo story. This is the only time I've ever been distracted by your writing in a non positive way. It felt like you were bleeding into Rosalie. It wasn’t about the experience itself, but just in the syntax and the expressions. Just felt really light. Lighter in a non-Rosalie way, because Rosalie has been light at some points in the story. This time it just didn't... Click. It picked back up pretty quick though after the 3rd Buffalo paragraph, and it wasn't a problem again.

Aaaaand she called her Bella Swan. Boom. Dead. Victory. Bye-bye Lizzy, have fun in Tahiti. This was such an awesome moment when Bella realized it, and questioned Rose. I wonder, what was Bella’s stance on the whole Lizzy thing? I know she felt kind of honored, and i bet she loved considered “worthy” of being Rosalie’s kin in her mind. Urgh. I’m glad that’s over.

“I have wanted to do this for so very, very long”. Damn it! Rosalie you cryptic woman. Why didn't she just say the moment! No... It's all "since so long". Why can't we just have nice things?

They both need relationship counseling, and they haven’t even started dating. My goodness.

Hmmh… Rosalie visiting a therapist, urged (convinced, nudged, forced) by Bella. How would that play out? Would the therapist last a session without being written off by Rose as inept.

And now I'm melting again. Urgh. Why I'm I so soft? I was trying to be all removed and just pointing things out, but... Nobody had ever looked at her like that? And then that "help me" look? Arrgh. I get it. I mean, Bella is completely helpless to this, this woman. And so are we. I don’t fault you for being whipped.

Goodness gracious. The feels.

Rosalie looking away from Bella? Really odd. Bella seemed to be assertive for a second, or just searching, questioning, and Rose retreats. We've gotten hints from Rose that she would prefer to be the girl in the relationship, or that at least, being the girl is still ingrained in her mind, but, I didn't really expect Rosalie to be... Soft. Fragile. Does she want to be handled like a precious thing? Even after all these years?

Wait. Ah, i think i see the answer now to my “who would wear the pants in the relationship” question.

"When one jumps off the edge into the abyss..” I feel like choking a pillow. Stop with these half tells and continue! This is maddening. Just speak, woman.

Alright, there is even more to cover in this chapter. It is just so wonderfully dense and moving and face-wrecking. But yeah, this review is long enough.

I see that there are 3 new chapters. As in, 3 chapters in a week. My body is ready. For re-reads i mean. I feel like one doesn’t truly get into these chapters until the second reading. They are wonderfully deep.

Uh hum.

This chapter feels like the start of the end-game. It moved the story forward by taking on one of it’s biggest unresolved points and addressing it, while opening so many new grounds to cover and questions.

Loved it.

Take care,
HP

P.S: so, one of my family members was looking for a new book to read… and yup. I got them to read the first chapter (the second one, technically), and they loved it. I foresee many interesting discussions. Thank you, now i get to share and discuss something i love with a family member.

Hope everything is going great. Have a great Saturday!
A2463 chapter 86 . 4/18/2015
So much for a fun night. Simply turned serious out of one question, a question that came from curiosity. They say the truth hurts and so Rosalie didn't want to tell Bella the truth. Even if Bella boots about being able to handle it. If Rosalie can't face the truth imagine what it would do to Bella. Usually when you tell a lie, it's followed by an apology and then the truth. Will the truth come out? Not if Rosalie can help it.

I do hope more fun times ensure...as long as Bella remembers the rules of is going to happen now? Will Rosalie push for space? Or will it be tension 'til the next day? Such a predicament .

Love it! Really love it! Please continue!
A2463 chapter 85 . 4/17/2015
At least their is a direction to their relationship and at least Bella won't be taken by surprise. As Rosalie strides forward with confidence with her very appealing figure (Bella may admit) but taking it slow but steady when it comes to Bella. Consideration is key in a healthy relationship. And it's a good thing Bella is feeling a little more relaxed, there's no need to be jumpy all the time. Plus she admitted to herself that she was a little bit scared. With admission there will come a time to face it! I hope Bella will be ready when that time comes.

Really love it! Please continue!
RoseLovin chapter 85 . 4/17/2015
Oh my god, I literally love you for uploading not only one, but two new delicate chapter this quick.
I didn't mean to rush you :D but I'm very grateful though!
Thank you and have a nice day :)
A2463 chapter 84 . 4/15/2015
Really loved this chapter, Bella can finally relax without getting reprimanded all the time by Rosalie. They had a delicious meal, i should know minus the wine, light playful conversations, a lovely walk and now for Bella to get her toes painted! Will she allow it?! Bella is sure in bliss but what about Rosalie? Sure she acted like a child who never seen cooking utensils before, but i'm sure she'll learn them quickly. It seems that Bella and Rosalie are starting to create this relationship, one with love that Rosalie never was able to experience. And for that, you are not going to jump in with both feet, its more like a hot bath, you put one foot in and slowly put the other one in. Same thing with Rosalie and her relationship with Bella. If she does something drastic it might harm Bella and the relationship. Plus the fact Rosalie never experience such emotions and so she might be in a confused state. With time Rosalie will figure out what she wants, 'til then she's taking it slow... to Bella's displeasure, but fun times ensures.

love it! Really love it! Please continue!
LittleRedRidingVanz chapter 83 . 3/30/2015
I have missed you old friend! Like, I get having breaks is good, and I totally support you on that, but I have missed you with all of my heart. Your writing just always makes me feel, and just the raw emotion from it gives me shivers. I think this is the only story that's ever hooked me for such a long time. This has been a great journey through out my life. Your writing always wows me, like in the way you made Bella not respond to those first few kisses, I'm sure many would have written that she did kiss back because of the temptation or something along those lines, but no, you did it different. You masterfully wove this in, showing the conflict of what she's feelings, like it can't be real, she can't really be kissing me, she definitely playing with my head. Just the uncertainty because of everything that's happened. I love the way you write, and I'm sure I've been pushy about you writing, despite not having written a single review or message on here, but you take your time. I've missed you, but I hope everything is going well. Your writing is amazing, but so are you.

Vanz.
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