|Reviews for Tranquillité: Leaning on you|
| Uruwashii Inochi chapter 17 . 6/24/2014
Omg. So I stumbled on this fic by accident and just absolutely had to finish it today! Fantastic! Loved every minute!
| InsomniaWaffle chapter 8 . 2/4/2014
O-O the hell am i reading
| Queen of Night chapter 17 . 7/26/2012
| GrimmjowxTalimira chapter 11 . 2/3/2012
O.o she's alive! YAY!
| GrimmjowxTalimira chapter 9 . 2/3/2012
OMG I fuckin cried and got pissed off...stupid byakuya...
| s.tohru.89 chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
I think you have the potential to be a really really good writer. What you have is okay at best. To help you improve, you NEED to get a beta who's native language is English. This story could be loads better if you have someone who can objectively look at it and spot errors you missed and help you make the story flow.
For some readers (like me) all it takes is a few grammar errors to ruin a story. It's not easy to simply ignore mistakes that keep happening again and again. It makes a person not want to read further. Think of all the people who love your story as is. Now think of just as many people, if not more, who didn't bother to read past the first couple of paragraphs or first chapter simply because the story wasn't flowing because grammar errors, or unnatural sounding dialogue.
I'm not trying to flame you, I just want to give you my honest opinion. You're getting plenty of reviews that tell you how awesome your story is. I just want to give constructive criticism. There is always room for improvement. Good Luck with your future stories :)
| Sway chapter 8 . 9/16/2011
I've been loving this fanfic so far, because it is very interesting to see how two people in similar situations sort of find each other. And it's all the more engaging to see how their relationship sparks and slowly starts to grow into something else. I love that sense of romance I get when I read stories like that, which take you along that kind of accidental journey of the characters.
Now, I'm having mixed feelings about this chapter though. I loved the beginning, how Renji beat up the guys that hurt her, his blood boiling. It was exciting to see him defend his woman, and even more exciting when he went back and claimed her his, while in a passionate kiss. However, it sort of went south from there. She had just gone through a bad experience and any woman that's been through that can tell you that it's not something you forget so quickly. I doubt that she would yield to Renji's wishes, even if she had been determined not to lose him, simply because after such an experience, anything she had thought before wouldn't be her priority at that moment. Nevertheless, I was eager to see them get intimate. I was hoping that Renji would be soft and sweet and a gentleman in such situation, leading her slowly and lovingly. Instead, he was rough and even forceful at times. The way that whole scene was written, it was kind of sleazy. There was absolutely no romance whatsoever, which was pretty disappointing since the story was building up to this moment. I was expecting love to be the driving force behind their first sexual encounter, instead it was just pure primal desires on his part and almost a desire to please on her part.
When writing a sex scene, one has to be very careful, because depending on the words you use and the way you use them, it can be either romantic or it can be vulgar. It can be love-filled or completely devoided of it. You have to consider carefully what kind of story you are writing. If it's more carefree, about flings or physical relationships, then the latter will suit the story just fine. If it's about romance or love, then sex-driven (instead of love-driven) scenes might not be suitable for the story. The difference is easily spotted. The way Renji talked to Orihime, calling her sweet and babe, saying 'good girl' and telling her that he likes to make girls squirm. At no point he showed concerned for Orihime's wishes or asked her what she wanted and if she wanted it, which I was expecting since he knew what kind of girl she is, not the mention the fact that she had almost been raped. And on the other hand, Orihime was written just too out of character in this scene. She showed no self-respect and allowed him to do what he wanted.
Anyway, I apologize for this long post and I really didn't want to sound harsh, but this review I'm making as constructive criticism. So far, beside the grammatical errors, I had found no fault in this story. I was loving every chapter and was hooked. I just wanted to let you know what I thought and give you advice. Maybe you didn't want it, but I thought I'd give it anyway. -
| Sway chapter 5 . 9/15/2011
Omg, I loved this so much! It was so sweet and sexy too.
Great job. I gotta keep reading.
| kitjos chapter 17 . 8/19/2011
Ive just read this story from start to finish and im in awe at the brilliance of your work. Im a Ichihime fan but im just looking at other Orihime pairings and Renji is a perfet caring gent around her. Also loved ep 303 where Renji blushed due to Orihimes kindness - squee! Lol. x
| SimplySinful21 chapter 17 . 7/5/2011
Aww that was so cute! I am in love with Renji and orihime! Ur fic was absolute genius!
4rm da blk chick$$$
| CMinuteByMinute chapter 17 . 2/10/2011
| Ellie-ellie chapter 17 . 1/15/2011
I absolutely looooovvveeeddd this story! great job :)
| GothChiq80 chapter 17 . 12/11/2010
I absolutely loved this story. Renji and Orihime are so cute together.
| power-of-kings chapter 17 . 10/12/2010
This is an excelent story, keep up the good work XD
| GirlyGirl68 chapter 17 . 6/29/2010
YESSS! i loved it. it was absolutely amazing. although i feel i must point out the many grammatical errors. i have some bleach stories too if ur interested in reading them. in fact cheerleader40404 reviews all my stories and chapters.